The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “March 31, 2011”

It Gets Better For Men, Sort Of

I’m stealing the title from the It Gets Better project, an initiative to let bullied teens know that life does indeed get better for them, especially if gay, lesbian, trans, whatever. Personally, I have no issue with this initiative. Indeed, the concept that it gets better can be applied to single, straight men as well.

This post was motivated by a supremely good blogger’s post. Read it. Also, read the comments because one commenter, Greenlander, is a classic example of taking the red pill and realizing that he is the prize.

As for for those who don’t know Dalrock, it’s worth reading his well-written and extremely well-researched blog posts.

That blog post addressed the supply and demand in the marriage market. Using good research and some excellent charts, Dalrock made some key conclusions that point to the fact that it does indeed get better for single guys seeking a long.

From 2000 to 2010, the percentage of never-married women has gone up, especially for the 25 – 29 year old age cohort – by almost 10%. It shows that women are delaying marriage. By the 40 – 44 year old age cohort, the difference from 2000 to 2010 is only 1.1%. Dalrock’s chart showing this data is here.

Delaying marriage may or may not be a good idea for the individual woman in question, that’s a personal choice. Delaying marriage is not without unintended consequences and this is why I say that it gets better for single, straight guys, but not completely.

By the mid-30s, there is no longer a surplus of single men. Dalrock makes the very valid point that many mid-30s single men could have dropped out of the long term relationship game by becoming players or simply withdrawing from the dating and relationship scene entirely.

Statistics aside, as single men get older, their income rises. Single men have far more time to apply to their jobs and careers, especially if without children.  Parents must juggle between work and family while the single man can be burning the midnight oil.  His income will likely increase with the extra time and effort. He can also be learning Game to be working on his self-confidence. For a man in the sexual market place as the years go by, it gets better.

Dalrock makes an interesting point:

Just like a real estate market can quickly shift from a sellers to a buyers market, we could see a sea change where men see themselves as the scarce commodity and women fear being the ones without a seat when the music stops.

Before us single men start rejoicing it’s extremely important to understand that social expectations are still stuck in the rut that women consider themselves as special and perfect snowflakes in desperately short supply. To a certain extent that’s true. Attractive, truly feminine women of good character are not easy to find. Those type of women were likely snapped up quickly. Only when post-divorce trading season starts (mid to late 30s) can single men find these women with the caveat that marriage, kids, and divorce has had some often negative emotional and physical impacts. Call the porter to handle all the extra baggage and then call Weight Watchers.

There is also the dilemma of women who have spent too long working on their careers and have lost – or worse, rejected – femininity and have convinced themselves that being strong and independent is the best course of action. An extra eight to ten years in capitalistic America climbing the corporate ladder is simply not emotionally healthy for a woman who is still seeking a deep and intimate long term relationship with a man.

It’s important to make the distinction between the sexual market place and the relationship market place. For a man in his late 30s and beyond with Game and confidence, the sexual market place is amazing with many choices and many opportunities. Yet it’s slim pickings in the relationship market place. Women in their 30s and beyond are mostly not relationship material (though they could be if they also took the red pill).

To deal with this situation, there are some options:

1. Seek younger women. All hail the biological imperative!

2. Find a divorced woman without too much emotional baggage and who also has maintained her femininity. Hey, it can happen.

3. Forget the notion of a long term relationship and pursue a pump and dump or a soft harem approach while smoking fine cigars and living a hedonistic lifestyle.

In closing, I present part of a comment from Greenlander over on Dalrock’s blog post:

Now, I separate them into two categories by age. Women below about 27 are potential marriage material. Everything after that is pump & dump. I laughed to myself when you wrote about men seeking women 5-10 years younger, because that’s not young enough for me. I’m dating a 26-year-old blue-eyed blonde who is on the high side of 7. (I tap some ass on the side when I can for fun, though.)The women I know in their early thirties are just delusional. I sometimes seduce them and sleep with them just because I know how to play them so well. It’s just too easy. They’re tired of the cock carousel, and they see a guy like me as the perfect beta to settle down with before their eggs dry out. I know exactly how to tickle both parts of their alpha and beta “receptors” to get them interested and willing. I practically read their thoughts that say, “Greenlander seems like a guy I could settle down with.” Then, I bang them a few times, and when I get tired of them I just delete their numbers from my cell phone and stop taking their calls. Fuck them, they don’t deserve my respect. They overplayed their hand. When they had the upper hand they were complete cunts, and now that I have the upper hand I’m returning the favor by being a raging dickhead. It doesn’t really hurt them that much: at this point they’re used to pump & dump!

The younger ones who want to settle with an “upper beta” guy like me while they still have SMV have my respect. I can see myself marrying the 26-year-old if it continues to go well… and if I cut her loose for whatever reason then I’ll also do it respectfully. I treat her respectfully because she deserves respect.

Here is a man who took the red pill and figured out the current state of affairs with regards to demographics, life stages, the sexual market place, and the relationship market place. In the subsequent comments, a female reader excoriated him for this approach. No matter, that female reader was simply showing her abject fear of a man like Greenlander spreading his knowledge.

I am often impressed with the knowledge and writing abilities in the Manosphere. There are so many intelligent and articulate men and women to be read.

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