The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

The Frustration Of Finding That Special Someone

One of this blog’s faithful readers waxed poetic about his pessimism of finding the woman of this dreams.’

His words:

I’ve become extremely suspicious and pessimistic about the possibility of dating successful, educated, and professional women. Their standards for a man are just ridiculously high and most are not interesting and good looking enough to ask for what they demand. I get tired of being interesting, entertaining, and humorous when I get little in return except self-absorbed drivel from a woman who has little sense of humor.

Let’s break it down quickly and succinctly. His pessimism stems from just five problems with today’s modern, American woman:
1. Hypergamy

2. “Never settle!”

3. The demand for instant chemistry

4. Extreme selfishness

5. No respect for men

Of all five, only one is truly rooted in the biological imperative. That’s hypergamy. A woman’s brain is wired to be hypergamous. Ironically, it’s easier for a man to deal with this. He simply becomes a better man. A man must learn and implement Game.

The other four, well, that’s rather more challenging. While a man, as an individual, can learn and implement Game, there must a shift in overall social expectations to address the other issues in the list. It will be glacially slow. Changing social expectations usually takes at least a generation (that’s about 30 years) but with the ability to communicate electronically and almost instantly, social change can be accelerated.

There must be a constant drumbeat of negative messages and negative stigma from all sides should a woman be suffering from one or more of the other problems in the list.

  • “Never settle” must be met with “everyone settles”.
  • The demand for instant chemistry must be met with “stop thinking with your genitals”.
  • Selfishness must be met with “that’s for children, grow up.”
  • No respect for men must be met with “you’re a bigot”.

Men have been made to dance to the tune of women’s capricious and arbitrary demands for the two generations of feminism indoctrination and it’s failed miserably. Now is the time for men to play the tune and insist that women live up to a form of the revised social contract.

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8 thoughts on “The Frustration Of Finding That Special Someone

  1. collegeslacker on said:

    Fine recommendations, indeed. Unfortunately, I don’t think this change occur from a long time. My generation has been far too submersed in the soft (or not so soft) feminism of today’s parenting and education system. If the Gen X’ers think they were brainwashed, they have no idea what’s coming down the pipe with the Millennials.

  2. Meh. Just give up and become a porno addict like me.

  3. On a more serious note (*clicks off the internet porn tab and clicks on the PM tab*): I think your solution is pretty good. I like the way you have separated the “biological imperative” from the from “you-go-girl imperatives” instilled through feminist brainwashing. The biological one probably cannot be ever controlled, but the you-go-girl ones we may have a shot of eradicating.

    I may suggest further that if women expect us to except their hypergamy then they must accept our biological imperative not to f*ck fat chicks. The problem here is that most women will deny hypergamy and if you ever suggested to a woman that she is dating you because you are basically better than her in multiple categories then you will sound arrogant.

    Also, if you lay down the law with women as you suggest, many would dump you: forcing women to take the red pill is more than most women can endure. Most women, including my gf, will be happy as long as the truths of hypergamy in particular and the the true basis of male and female sexual strategies in general are not discussed. The few times I have broached this subject with my gf she becomes upset.

    Also, I think its important for men to accept the SMV realities as well. For example, Bernard Chapin had a video where he he mentioned he broke up with his gf because she was not curvy (read: not hot) enough. Bernard needs to look at himself carefully and ask does he deserve such a high-value woman? Maybe the question he should ask is if he wants an 8, do his combined looks, status, and income make him an 8? A I recall he is a school counselor so I really don’t think that is the case.

    For myself, my gf, while attractive, is not sexy in the way that I like. I realize though my value is probably not high enough to get an overtly sexy women. Other men need to look objectively at themselves and make this calculation as well.

    • You are right on the money. Most guys can get to a point where they can appraise their current situation [money, job, education, looks, physical condition, etc.] and come up with a pretty good determination of where they stand with some introspection. Women don’t seem to be able to come to the same conclusions. Even a 40 something woman with two or three kids from multiple fathers will “shoot for the moon” and turn her nose up at men who “don’t meet her standards.” All the while her cackling coven of other dried up hags keep telling her “don’t settle” you’re too good for guy x, y or z.

  4. I mapped this out for women several months back on my site. Strangely they didn’t like it as much as I thought they would. Women shouldn’t settle.

  5. I’d like to suggest an alternate strategy to the blog reader that brought forth the original concern. Perhaps, you should not attempt to locate an educated, successful, professional woman. How about a pleasant, attractive, educated or semi-formally educated woman, that was agreeable to your interests and aspirations and who herself did not have a lot going on?

    Would shifting your target market yield more satisfying results? You sound like a man with a career and likely strong interests and hobbies, I doubt that you want another “man in the house” so to speak, with which your goals might come into competition. If you tie your wagon to a career gal, what happens when her company wants to move her across the country for a promotion? Chuck your career out the window and follow her? Or she goes away on business for a week at the last minute, leaving you to juggle junior and your career responsibilities. Nah. What will happen in her hypergamous mind if one day she should be bringing home a bigger paycheck than you? Uh, oh, now you suddenly don’t meet her standards again and are back in the loser pile.

    So, how about this as an alternative: you seek to date women who don’t have a lot going on and who have no real strong career aspirations. Then every moment she is with you will be the most interesting thing she’s done all week. She won’t be able to get enough of you. [Hopefully]. You will at least have a running start of being more successful in her eyes and staying that way to curb her hypergamy.

  6. Michel on said:

    What happens to the Millennials then? Guys don’t get laid, girls fuck around, and they all die alone?

  7. The best practical guidance I can offer men is to date women with less money or social status than themselves.

    Screen for personality traits rather than taste in music, books, etc.

    Worked for me!

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