The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Through a Different Lens

With age comes experience. With introspection and honest observation comes knowledge of self and the human condition. Combine the two and true wisdom is the result.

There was no epiphany. There was no flash of inspiration. The wisdom accumulated gradually over the years and led to a series of small intellectual gains. I’m re-focused completely and utterly.

This is not a matter of just learning Game, it’s the matter of learning about masculinity and femininity. It’s the matter of learning about how men and women interact romantically, sexually, socially in the milieu of the biological imperative.

It’s also the matter of stripping away the social expectations of political correctness where words and actions become completely and destructively separated.

I look at human interactions differently now. Game and the manosphere is like a new set of eyeglasses that provides clarity of truth. Watching people is now a completely different experience. I see a man and a woman interact socially and I see the real truths. I know now that words are usually just the shell of social expectations and the actions, however subtle, reveal the true nature of that social interaction.

Game and the manosphere allows me to look far beyond the surface of words and see motivations, weaknesses, emotions, agendas that were often invisible to me in my previous and naive approach to understanding communication amongst people.

This is doubly true in the context of dating and relationships. So many social expectations attempt to smother the biological imperative when men and women attempt to connect intimately. Yet the biological imperative simply can’t be stifled. We are living creatures and many of our behaviors are based on biology. When the wet blankets of social expectations are ripped away, only then can the truth about men and women be fully understood.

In effect, I have taken the red pill (hat tip to A Voice for Men) and have seen the matrix for what it is. It pains me that more men haven’t done so. It pains me that there is still so much resistance to understanding the truths of our biology.

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10 thoughts on “Through a Different Lens

  1. Excellent and eloquent essay.

    One thing I find frustrating is that it appears that only men can discuss these truths amongst themselves. These kind of conversations are my favorite to have, but I dare not broach the subject with a woman. The few times I dated a woman an try to engage in debate or discussion of these realities the relationship ended. Its possible that the relationship ended for other reasons, of course, but I’m sure discussion of these uncloaked truths had a lot to do with it.

    It really boggles my mind to imagine how much the truth of gender relations cannot be discussed with women.

    • Its a semantic minefield.

      You can say the exact same thing in two different ways and one way will get nods of agreement and a “ohhh, well of course…” and the other way will get you a slap in the face (literally or figuratively).

      For example, if you say that women prefer Bad Boys to Nice Guys, you’ll get a negative reaction from women. But if you explain why the Nice Guys are a turn-off they nod and say “that’s right”.

      • When talking to women about such issues, she is perceiving that anything negative said about women in general is considered an attack on her, personally. So, her first reaction is negative, usually an angry reaction. Ironically, it’s the opposite of snowflaking. She first puts herself in the general category of women.

        However, once the rationalization hamster gets up to speed, the snowflaking occurs and she trots out a variation of the NAWALT (not all women are like that) rationalization and says to herself, “but I’m not like that”.

        So, the discussion gets very semantic, very quickly. The semantics are crucial but sometimes rather subtle.

        Once could try the socratic approach, but I don’t find many women (or men, for that matter) with sufficient critical thinking skills to thoughtfully answer the questions.

  2. Hughman on said:

    For myself, it was a mixture. My induction into seeing the Matrix was slow and painful. But sometimes I’ve had epiphanies – the old PUA masters posts on sosuave, Roissy and RooshV being the usual cause of them.

    Such as the sudden realization when and where kino is being used. Eye contact appreciation. Negging and teasing.

    Sure, practice and experience makes perfect, but sometimes there have been big jumps in understanding.

  3. If you have not yet, you should read Ricky T at therawness.com. He doesn’t just apply the Game theories to social interactions. He looks at multiple different facets, not just masculine vs. feminine. It’s seriously eloquent, well-considered and advanced stuff.

  4. The truth is brutal, and it takes either a woman who really doesn’t care about a man or a woman with a lot of self-control to handle the raw truth. It stings when a woman hears from the man she’s with that he checks out other women, or that he’s less physically attracted to her as she gets older. Yes, on some level she knows it’s true, but when it hits too close to home that’s when she wants to try her hardest to ignore it or declare it false. It’s a fear reaction.

    It’s a lot easier to hear the truth from a detached third party, one with whom she is not remotely emotionally involved. If you’re trying to initiate a woman into this minefield without prior exposure, it’s sure to backfire.

    • “If you’re trying to initiate a woman into this minefield without prior exposure, it’s sure to backfire.”

      This is extremely true.

      In fact, if a guy senses that the first date is not going to result in a second date, he should bring up this type of discussion. It beats having to write the “just not into you” email or message the next day. She’ll be writing it first if she hasn’t already blocked his account already.

  5. OffTheCuff on said:

    Nicely worded. One thing I’ve been enjoying is re-watching old movies like “American Beauty”, or anything that deals with heavy social interactions, with a fresh eye – once you take the red pill, they have entirely new meaning.

  6. So true. Ever seen that cheesy 80s movie They Live? Game is like looking through those glasses and seeing the world for what it really is.

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