The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Describing The Feminine

There was a comment on one of the manosphere blogs where a girl expressed frustration that she didn’t know exactly what men consider feminine.

I scanned a few blogs and didn’t find anything specific, just lots of ideas buried within larger essays.

So I present a list of what this man sees as the feminine. Do bear in mind that I am pushing 50 and this certainly impacts my perceptions.

1. Appearing feminine

The feminine form has a set ratios of chest to waist to hips. This goes along with face that looks like a woman and hair this is a appropriate for a woman. The accoutrements of femininity, there are indeed feminine-looking clothes and a feminine woman wears those clothes appropriately.

2. Pleasant and happy in general.

While both men and women can possess these positive emotions, femininity should be about focusing on the positive emotions and avoiding the negative ones. Constant anger or sadness is not feminine.

3. Nurturing and caring.

Both evolution and social expectations encourage women to be nurturing and caring. This is what motherhood is all about. The truly feminine should go way beyond nurturing and caring in the context of just motherhood. Those characters should extend to all people in her, especially her man.

4. Demure

This is the big one. This is about being modest and reserved. The “in your face attitude” is hardly feminine. This is also where manners come in. The feminine is simply supposed to have more manners. The feminine is supposed to be refrained from calling attention to itself in negative or overtly sexual means unless in the correct context.

5. Sexual (in the right context)

Yes, being sexual is about being feminine. Note the huge caveat of in the right context. The whole lady in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom is spot on.

This list is key to a social contract where if women were indeed feminine, men could be masculine. We all what happened to the social contract when the feminine rewrote it without consulting or even caring what the masculine might have to say about the matter.

Things get complicated when women are in the masculine, private sector workplace. The purpose of business is to make money and this is a masculine space, even if occupied or perhaps lead by women. But when the workday is over, women simply must restore that essential femininity. Is that difficult? Well, if women think themselves as so strong and capable, it should be quite easy.

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16 thoughts on “Describing The Feminine

  1. OffTheCuff on said:

    Oh, I totally agree with you, but cannot quite tell if you are discounting her article or not..

    On the chance that you are, it was researched by reading men’s comments, and then writing up the results it in a female-friendly style for women’s consumption. I think she did a good job of it. Agree? Disagree?

    • I read Susan’s list and I only frowned at two items on it:

      1. Subtlety.
      2. Playfulness.

      I can’t help thinking that my life would have been alot easier if women were substantially LESS playful and LESS subtle.

      I like to know exactly where I stand.

    • I am not discounting her post. She’s one of the good ones. I just happen to know that men will often discount a woman’s words because of the common pattern that what women say is often 180 degrees away from what they do.

  2. Chadwick on said:

    Many thanks for trying to describe the terminlogy for the beginners!

  3. Bingo on femininity and masculinity complement each other – they exist as mutual contrasts. I’ve noticed that both non-gender feminists and gender feminists hate the discussion of femininity, because it means they are going to be judged by men.

    To them, femininity is adulated as “whatever a woman wants to do,” which just means they are defining femininity as solpsism.

  4. John Rambo on said:

    Why American men should boycott American women

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


    • Yo Rambo! Your copy and paste comment is all over the manosphere and I have to admire your efforts. I somewhat agree with your sentiments but perhaps I am naive and so I continue to date American women. Such women are a handful, indeed.

  5. John Rambo on said:

    My comment is all of the blogosphere, not just the manosphere. I have spammed 1000s of women’s blogs with it, and it has gotten some very angry posts and articles written against it. Nothing more fun than to piss off the sick fucking feminists.

    • They are angry because, deep down, they see an element of truth in what you say. You know you’re on target when you’re getting lots of flak. While I won’t go as far as a boycott, I can definitely understand your motivations.

  6. Pingback: What Men Want « Raise Your Glass

  7. anonymous on said:

    Private Man-Is it possible for a woman to have a very feminine appearance and a masculine personality? A lot of women spend more effort in how they look than their personality.

  8. Unfortunately I have a shaved head. It is perfect for when I go to the gym. Having a full head of hair would get in the way of that and losing weight is of the utmost importance right now. Sigh. I was single for a long time anyway, what’s another decade?

  9. Pingback: It’s Sunday … Time to Pass the Plate « the Life of Liz

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