The Private Man

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Archive for the day “February 24, 2011”

Describing The Feminine

There was a comment on one of the manosphere blogs where a girl expressed frustration that she didn’t know exactly what men consider feminine.

I scanned a few blogs and didn’t find anything specific, just lots of ideas buried within larger essays.

So I present a list of what this man sees as the feminine. Do bear in mind that I am pushing 50 and this certainly impacts my perceptions.

1. Appearing feminine

The feminine form has a set ratios of chest to waist to hips. This goes along with face that looks like a woman and hair this is a appropriate for a woman. The accoutrements of femininity, there are indeed feminine-looking clothes and a feminine woman wears those clothes appropriately.

2. Pleasant and happy in general.

While both men and women can possess these positive emotions, femininity should be about focusing on the positive emotions and avoiding the negative ones. Constant anger or sadness is not feminine.

3. Nurturing and caring.

Both evolution and social expectations encourage women to be nurturing and caring. This is what motherhood is all about. The truly feminine should go way beyond nurturing and caring in the context of just motherhood. Those characters should extend to all people in her, especially her man.

4. Demure

This is the big one. This is about being modest and reserved. The “in your face attitude” is hardly feminine. This is also where manners come in. The feminine is simply supposed to have more manners. The feminine is supposed to be refrained from calling attention to itself in negative or overtly sexual means unless in the correct context.

5. Sexual (in the right context)

Yes, being sexual is about being feminine. Note the huge caveat of in the right context. The whole lady in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom is spot on.

This list is key to a social contract where if women were indeed feminine, men could be masculine. We all what happened to the social contract when the feminine rewrote it without consulting or even caring what the masculine might have to say about the matter.

Things get complicated when women are in the masculine, private sector workplace. The purpose of business is to make money and this is a masculine space, even if occupied or perhaps lead by women. But when the workday is over, women simply must restore that essential femininity. Is that difficult? Well, if women think themselves as so strong and capable, it should be quite easy.

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