The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “February 18, 2011”

Rules for Single Women

I stumbled across this and thought it might make for some good reading.

Most women will hate it. Thoughtful, intelligent, and introspective women will laugh wryly at the truths contained in this list. It’s a long list.

Share it with a link, please.

  • If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.
  • Prince Charming is gay
  • Rich, attractive, nice – you can only pick two when dealing with single men.
  • If you ask a man on a first date how much he earns or what kind of car he drives, he gets to look at your bare breasts while you are still in the restaurant.
  • If you answer your cell phone during a first date, he has the right to immediately get up and leave with no explanation.
  • Choosy and “stuck up” are closely related.
  • If you expect a man to pay for everything, you’ll need a strong jaw and a good tongue.
  • Perfect men don’t exist. Good men are everywhere.
  • The karmic retribution for putting good men into the FriendZone while getting hurt by bad boys is to become bitter, angry, and the owner of at least three cats.
  • You are not a princess no matter what your T-Shirt states. If you really think you are a princess, then you’d better have the body of a stripper, the face of an angel, and the personality of a saint. Even so, only Prince Charming can marry a princess and Prince Charming is gay.
  • Your single girlfriends don’t want you to have a happy relationship with a man, that’s why they’re single and always telling you to “never settle”. Consider this when listening to their advice.
  • A man won’t say “I love you” until he is 100% confident that you won’t use this against him. This might take years, be patient because men can be sensitive, too.
  • Taking the time to look your best is not optional. After all, if you can catch his eye then you can catch his heart. Being agreeable, pleasant, and happy will seal the deal.
  • Smiles and laughter are contagious and can melt any man’s heart.
  • The unintended consequence of independence is loneliness.
  • Excessive complaining is neither attractive nor polite.
  • You are entitled to nothing. However, you can expect rewards for working hard for something.
  • Before you say “it’s all his fault” after a bad date, look closely in the mirror.
  • It’s not always men making you unhappy. Don’t let bitter women convince you of that.
  • Being strong doesn’t mean being bitchy. Wise women have known this for generations.
  • You can’t have it all. Please have the good sense to realize this.
  • Compromise is not surrender, it’s what is necessary to have a good relationship.
  • Don’t expect men to fall all over you just because you are a woman. Men have learned Game.
  • There’s nothing wrong with looking feminine. Men like it.
  • If he doesn’t call you back, it means he’s just not really into you. Deal with it.
  • If you meet a man, don’t find reasons to reject him or things to change in him. Find reasons to accept him and respect him.
  • The common word in “drink whore” and “dinner whore” is still whore.
  • Sorry girl, it’s not all about you so you can change your T-Shirt now and grow up.
  • Many men would rather chase women, not girls, so grow up if you don’t want to be single anymore.
  • Given the current state of divorce laws, don’t expect any man to marry you. It’s not you, it’s just how things are right now.
  • Hanging around gay men won’t give you any useful insights about straight men. Frankly, always hanging around gay men is kind of creepy. Um, they think it’s kind of creepy, too.
  • No fat chicks” is the man’s version of “If you’re rich, I’m single”.
  • Winning a man is easy, keeping a man requires hard work.
  • Advertising “Bitch” on your T-Shirt or sweatpants won’t get you any dates. No man cares for that attitude.
  • Deferring self-gratification is a sign of maturity. You can wait until dinner even if you’re hungry now.
  • The real world is pushy, rude, and often unpleasant. That doesn’t mean you have to be the same way.
  • If you dress like a whore, expect to be treated like a whore.

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Strong and Independent Women

“Strong and Independent”, such an interesting phrase.

That descriptive phrase is perfect for a man. That phrase is horrible for a woman.

Here is a lesson in writing. In addition to the standard meaning, words – adjectives in particular – have additional connotations that might not appear in the dictionary. While a word may have a surface meaning, there are sub-meaning (connotations) that must be considered when selecting the particular word for the job. This is the realm of writers and folks who really think about the nature of communication amongst humans.

As a further complication, words can be genderist in their connotations. Some descriptive words just work better on men, some are better for women. Ever heard a man being described as “demure”? It just doesn’t fit. Strong and independent are two wonderful adjectives that belong to men. Sorry ladies. Those are our words, hands off.

I can sense that quite a few women will clutch “strong and independent” tightly to their bosom like they might a little, yappy dog. I am not naive and I know that “strong and independent” is not going to disappear from the online dating profiles. OK, I will accept that if the ladies can accept the additional connotations that completely ruin that phrase for you.

The “strong and independent” phrase has some unpleasant connotations when written by a woman in an online profile. Remember that the phrase best suits a man so when it’s applied to a woman, “bossy and domineering” come to mind. These are hardly feminine characteristics and certainly not attractive.

Imagine a man claiming that he is “soft and demure” on his online dating website. While some other men might find that attractive, he’s not going to get a lot of positive attention from the dames. It’s because he used words with an overwhelmingly feminine connotation.

Two important secrets:

1. Masculine attracts feminine.
2. Feminine attracts masculine.

With this in mind, it behooves a man to use masculine words in his online dating profile if he seeks to attract the feminine. Likewise, in equal measure, a woman should use feminine words in her online dating profile. Boys and girls, this is based on biology. No amount of social shaming will change it.

Ladies, please. No more “strong and independent”. Try “resilient and self-reliant”.

It’s time to address the common female refrain of “you’re just intimidated by strong and independent women”. No. Men are simply turned off by bossy and domineering women. Men generally aren’t intimidated by any woman. We might find you repellent. We might find you annoying. But we’re not scared of you.

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