While my blog never stopped over the past few months, it did slow down substantially. I also put comments on moderation. This didn’t help my traffic and prevented some potentially excellent discussion. I thought I took comments off moderation, this wasn’t the case due to my mistake. So, I double checked that part of the WordPress administration functions and got things all sorted out. Also, I’ve opened up comments to posts more than 14 days old.
This means that approved commenters can make a comment on any blog post regardless of its age and that comment is published immediately. Of course new commenters must be approved. I’ve already gotten a couple of new hate comments and those commenters won’t be allowed through. Should that happen, I will wield the ban hammer.
It’s my plan to publish at least 12 new posts every month. Going forward, some topics I will resist addressing:
1. Politics/Ideology – I was once very political in my past. I’m not going there again with directly political blog posts. I will, however, take the occasionally swipe at feminism just to stay in practice. Commenters won’t be turned away for getting political.
2. The Alpha/Beta dimorphism – Masculine attractiveness is on a continuum. To be sure, those words can successfully be used in very absolute terms. Life isn’t always so absolute and I’m not going to encourage such absolute thinking. That’s too easy.
3. Drama – The guys in the Manosphere don’t all get along and I’m not going to exacerbate the situation with a blog post nor will I allow any comments through that mention any conflicts.
I will continue to provide advice for post-divorce singles (men and women alike). I won’t get huge traffic but I will maintain a nicely loyal readership and get more readers over time. I haven’t forgotten my cancer page because my cancer certainly hasn’t forgotten me. As for my blog roll, I made an update recently and will update it irregularly. The donate button remains and will always remain.
I know I harp on this subject. I do this because it’s a huge problem for men. I’ve covered well how technology seriously disrupts in-person social interactions. Streaming video, satellite TV, entertainment servers, all of it acts as barriers to genuine human contact. Congratulations, nerds, you won. But girls still won’t date you. Yes, that was an abrasive remark aimed at the socially dysfunctional men who created such technology.
There is another way we isolate each other. During our collective commutes to work, our vehicles typically holds only the driver. Commute times are long, averaging 35 minutes. That’s 35 minutes in social isolation as we drive to and from work, mentally focusing on work, those idiot drivers surrounding us, and the sundry minutae of life.
I was reminded of this commute-based isolation when I started to use public transportation earlier this year. While I was taking the bus, I got to know some of the regulars and enjoyed the social interaction. Here in South Florida, bus riders are not rich folk. It didn’t matter to me. In the mornings I chatted with the young, overnight security guard of Cuban origins who got on the bus stop as I did. Returning from work, I talked about motorcycles and life with the middle-age Puerto Rican bus driver. I also chatted with tourists who took the same bus up the beach to get back to their hotels. Of course, there were drunks and mentally ill homeless to deal with. Such is the life of a regular bus rider.
With a new and far more lucrative contract just having started, I’m now taking the commuter train (Tri-Rail). These are hard-core commuters and mostly like me, the white-collar crowd. Most are glued to smart devices so I don’t interrupt. But these past few days, there has been cordial chit chat with other passengers and a few occasions. Such times are excellent opportunities to be social in a socially frictionless environment. Just this morning, while waiting to exit the train, I was standing next to a middle-age flight attendant, a stewardess to use the older vernacular. She was in uniform. That train stop has a shuttle to the Miami airport.
I opened the brief conversation. “So we’re both going to work.”
She smiled at me pleasantly. “Yes, we are.”
“But you’ve got a helluva an office.”
With that she laughed and a light exchange ensued as the train slowed to a stop. We wished each other well and walked to our separate shuttle busses. There are a couple of take-aways from all this:
1. Take advantage of social opportunities. I’m advocating making radicall changes to your commute, but perhaps a carpool might be something to explore if your job, job schedule, and geography permits it. Bonus, save money on gas and wear and tear on your vehicle.
2. When opening up a conversation, it’s easiest to bring up something that you both have in common. Even something as innocuous as going to work is a conversational opener. What I did with the flight attendant was a variation of the environmental opener (HT Roosh)
Social isolation can too easily wipe away social skills. All men, regardless of age, must be reminded of this often. Just now, as I’m writing this post, I’m on the train. The gentleman across from me has his eyes firmly attached to his smart device. I tried to engage him in conversation but he was a bit terse and put in his ear buds. Hint, taken. Maybe tomorrow I’ll sit across from someone more social.
Here’s a photo of an interesting business I see from my train-based commute: