I’m that guy.

I’m the pleasant, intelligent, gregarious, middle-aged fellow you met at the party. I’m the guy sitting at your poker table. I’m the one telling awesome jokes at the weekly status meeting. I am every man over 45. I also embrace my complexities to keep my own rationalization hamster spinning in his little wheel.

I’m the patriarchy of men who actually understands social dynamics.

I have no kids, no television, no car. I ride my motorcycle too fast.

I use online dating ruthlessly and have become the very definition of “dated briefly”.

My home is in South Florida where I live in a modest apartment two blocks away from the Atlantic ocean. I have learned Charisma and practice it, and teach it to other men.

  1. #1 by Thomas V. Munson on November 10, 2011 - 5:12 PM

    I like everything about you.We are very different in the non-essential things, but I sense the unmistakable kinship quality-your “tone” (and you have one-a singular accomplishment; whether it’s singing, novel writing, journalism, whatever-when you have a distinct “voice”, you’ve got “it”) proves to me without cavil that you are one very much acquainted with the essential existential premise-somewhere in the soul it is always 3:00 a m . We must make common cause; there is much mischief we must do. The precise confines of the male/female dichotomy may not be sufficient to contain our ambitions-we have an entire culture to destroy! Ok too much coffee-but I want to contribute here in a major league way.

    • #2 by theprivateman on November 10, 2011 - 6:51 PM

      I have a great Manosphere website for you:


      You’re going to really like Paul Elam and what he’s up to. Tell ‘em that the Private Man sent you.

  2. #3 by Thomas V. Munson on November 11, 2011 - 1:56 PM

    Great! I didn’t realize (because I have the computer skills of a not-particularly-bright primate) that there was a growing force of male assertiveness, some of it middle aged male no less, grow
    ing in the land. O tidings of comfort & joy, and I don’t give a shit about Xmas!

  3. #4 by shariefm on April 6, 2012 - 8:29 PM

    Amen to that. My hamster wheel has stopped spinning after this initiation to the Manosphere.

  4. #5 by Stingray on November 3, 2012 - 6:42 AM

    Private Man,

    Thank you very much for sending the “Guide to the Manosphere Post (For Women) out on your Twitter account. That one tweet significantly increased my traffic yesterday and my blog has been added to at least one more blog role (Captain Capitalism and he even gave the post an award). So again, I say thank you and I’m glad that you liked it.

    • #6 by LostSailor on November 3, 2012 - 9:10 AM

      Stingray, it’s an excellent posts. Earlier this week a female friend who I hadn’t seen in a while was complaining to me about the guy she’s dating (she also introduced me to Coffee Tequila–she’s dangerous that way) and I saw an opportunity to gently give her some Red Pill wisdom. I hadn’t seen your post until PM tweeted it. I have just sent my friend a link to it.

      And I love that “Hello, 2nd Armor!” award, from CC. An appropriately apt analogy.

      • #7 by Stingray on November 3, 2012 - 2:55 PM


        Thank you and I hope your friend is able to get something out of the manosphere and that post. The Spere is chalk full of so much wisdom and too many people throw it away.

    • #8 by theprivateman on November 3, 2012 - 10:40 AM

      That post is amazing and desperately needed for women who stumble across the Manosphere. I’m going to copy and paste it into its own page on my blog, I just need a way to feature it prominently and permanently.

      Someone on the Roosh forum also linked to your post so expect traffic from there. Also, I urged the author of the original email to read that post before she blows a politically correct gasket.

      • #9 by Stingray on November 3, 2012 - 2:58 PM


        I really hope some people (including the original author, though the PC gasket being dispose of would be a good thing) are able to get something out of that post and it helps them. I hope it serves you and them well here and elsewhere.

        I saw that the Roosh forum link the post. I was stunned.

  5. #10 by 3rd Millenium Men on November 14, 2012 - 6:29 AM

    Honoured to be listed as one of the ‘Other Good Blogs’ on your website… now how do I make the transition to be listed under ‘Manosphere’? ;)

  6. #11 by Dr. Raskolnikov on January 3, 2013 - 3:13 PM

    Just want to say I discovered your blog, and Manosphere in general, not so long ago and I thoroughly enjoyed reading and learning process. Keep up the good work.

  7. #12 by smoothreentry on March 27, 2013 - 2:55 PM

    Dear Private Man,

    Is The Good Man Project the enemy?


    • #13 by theprivateman on March 27, 2013 - 3:09 PM

      The Good Men Project is hit or miss, mostly miss. While not quite the enemy, the editorial approach there is so socially “progressive” that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Occasionally they do publish a post that has an element of Red Pill wisdom but it’s quite rare.

  8. #14 by singleswarehouse on February 17, 2014 - 4:54 AM


    Loving your site and am getting in contact to see if you’d be interested in featuring on Singles Warehouse (one of the largest Dating ezines online). If you are interested please contact us at info@singleswarehouse.co.uk.

    Looking forward to touching base soon

  9. #15 by Dateologist Tracey Steinberg on December 16, 2014 - 5:28 PM

    I just noticed that you listed my blog on the right side of yours and I wanted to give you a big THANK YOU! That is so kind of you and I really appreciate it. I like what you have to say and perhaps we can figure out a way to work together? I’m already looking forward to our conversation, Tracey

  1. Smooth Drinks and Dials Crazy Cat Lady’s Podcast. | Smooth ReEntry

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