I have a wonderful and diverse group of readers. They hail from all over the world and cover many different political and social outlooks. There is a group of readers who are firmly in the traditionalist, socially conservative, religious camp. Several times over my past years of blogging I have been called a tradtionalist, at least in regards to attraction and dating.
I’m not going to take umbrage at being called a traditionalist. It’s just a label assigned by commenters and to them, I do fit into a traditionalist mold. This is because I advise that women and men follow some basic guidelines regarding dating. Such guidelines do bear a passing resemblance to a few historical dating and courtship rituals. The similarities are merely passing. The biggest similarity between historic dating – prior to the sexual revolution – and what I advise is the process of dating. Yes, having a dating process isn’t particularly romantic.
My dating advice is updated to reflect social and technological changes. The technological changes are quite obvious with online dating and texting taking the lead. Tinder is sweeping through the pre-married crowd and may seriously impact the post-divorce demographic. I’m keeping an eye on it. The biggest social change is the financial independence of women. Gone are big, expensive, chivalrous dates. Shorter, casual, and inexpensive dates are the new dating normal. Meetup.com singles groups are a good combination of technology and social change. Singles in roughly the same age demographic can join a Meetup group online and then attend the actual events.
One of the biggest social changes is access to the raw truths about attraction. Men are using the Internet to learn about how attraction works and what they can do to increase their attractiveness. Quite a few men have sent me emails asking for advice or just wanting a sympathetic ear to hear their stories. Women are more likely to seek out a dating coach, either in real life or digitally. Attraction and dating blogs for men and dating coaches for women provide the same type of truths. Blogs for men are as diplomatic as a sledge hammer. Dating coaches for women cover that sledgehammer with lots and lots of softening diplomacy.
The women I’ve been involved with in the past would likely laugh out loud at the traditionalist label I have acquired. As The Private Man, I don’t reveal too much in the way of personal information. I will say that I don’t live a traditional life outside of dating. Discretion prevents me from going further. Women from my past would politely refer to me as a libertine without any shame. There are quite a few impolite adjectives that would be applied to me, as well. I’m taking so many secrets to my grave, my funeral will require two coffins.