Consider this something of a stage play. Every time I venture into the village to walk my dog, I always make a point to look for women to chat with. This is made far easier by the six very local restaurants with outdoor bar and table seating. One particular restaurant, Athena By The Sea, has tables on the recently broadened sidewalk and a bar inside where part of it fronts the sidewalk so pedestrians can easily see if there is an available seat. Fortunately, this restaurant lets me put Lucy the dog on a bar seat next to me. Lucy is good for their business.
About a week ago and on a very pleasant evening, I was walking past Athena and spied four girls sitting at a high, four top sidewalk table. Tourists are easy to spot. It’s common for groups of single women to vacation here in Lauderdale by the Sea. These girls were all in the mid to late twenties and a rather attractive bunch. They didn’t see Lucy as I parked myself and the dog at the bar, not four feet away from the laughing and obviously happy girls. I really enjoy tourists, they are almost always pleased to be on vacation, teenagers on a family vacation notwithstanding.
With the table of girls directly behind me, I turned my attention to the bartender to order some humus. I know most of the staff at Athena so it brightens my mood to have some idle chit-chat with whomever is working. On the other side of the roughly V-shaped bar. After placing my order, I noticed four young men on the other side of the bar. While I couldn’t hear their conversation, the all looked fairly normal and seemed to be on vacation, just like the four girls sitting right behind me. The guys had certainly noticed them as the frequently cast glances in their direction. The girls had not noticed the guys because if they did, they would have seen Lucy sitting quietly on the bar stool next to me.
The photo was taken from the inside. The part of the bar where the four guys were sitting is roughly the part of the bar facing the camera. On the other side of the bar I was parked with my dog. Behind my back sat the four girls outside. Two other actors, in effect off stage, are on the other side of the sidewalk. The photo is a bit old so it doesn’t show the very recently and much widened sidewalk.
This social scene went of for about five minutes. Then one of the girls saw my dog. It began. I’ve already written about my standard script when anyone sees Lucy starts a conversation with me. Once past the first act in which the dog is focus of the script, the “Are you a local or are you visiting?” act began. It’s a fun little stage play but rather predictable, regardless if the dames are local or visitors. At this point in this short play, I had gotten off the bar stool, leaving Lucy on the other bar stool.
Moving to the free side of the girls’ table and standing up, I found myself talking to just one of the girls. I’ll call her Claire. With the small talk, I learned that this group was from the New York City area and indeed on vacation, for a week.Now the stage is set for the next act. My readers are now expecting some standard charisma talk as I chatted with Claire. No, this stage play now takes the spotlight from me and shifts it to those four guys sitting inside at the bar, still glancing way too much at the girls. Claire made it obvious that she was amenable to meeting a guy for a potential hookup that night or at least during her vacation. I strongly suspected that the other three vacationing girls would be amenable to the same.
I wasn’t that guy because in the course of the conversation I knowingly put myself in the position of older, wiser adviser regarding the ways of men. I asked Claire to look at the four guys in the bar. She quickly dismissed them.
“What’s wrong with them?” I asked her.
“They just don’t do anything for me.”
I was not surprised by her response. Women almost always find a reason to reject a man. This is a feature, not a bug. Even though those four guys were completely unknown and only visible from the chest up, Claire had rejected them. Here’s is what I surmise. Claire had seen the guys looking at her and her friends. She subconsciously noted that despite the looks, there was no further action from any of those guys. Unknowingly, the guys had put themselves into a shit test. If any of them bothered to approach the group of girls, the test would be passed. But the guys failed by just sitting there, sipping their beers and looking on passively.
“I’m kind of disgusted with guys like that” I told her.
She looked at me quizzically. “Why is that?”
“They’ve been looking at you for at least 10 minutes and not a single one has approached you.” I found it hard to believe that none of those young men came over to talk to a group of happy, slightly drunk, rather attractive, outgoing girls. I was very tempted to walk over to those fellows and pull one of them over to the girls. I’ve done that in the past with only mixed results.
Claire’s response was interesting. “I don’t like those guys, I like these two guys.”
She pointed to her right. I swiveled my head left and saw two young, fit guys sitting at a low table on the other side of the sidewalk. The two new actors in this play were deep in conversation and weren’t paying any attention to the close-by group of girls.
“How do I get them to notice me?” Claire asked.
“Face them and show a little skin” I told her. She did just that. I had noticed she was wearing a long skirt with a slit up to her mid-thigh but she had pulled the slit closed. Now, she let go of her skirt to allow much more of leg to show. I looked at it boldly and appreciatively.
“There ya go!” I told her. She looked pleased with herself. She then ran her hands through her medium-length, blondish hair. Can you say indicators of interest? Not towards me, towards the two dudes ignoring her.
“Just wait, it’s up to them now.”
I couldn’t stay because my humus and pita bread was waiting and Lucy was getting antsy and trying to go after my dinner sitting on the bar. As I was eating, I completely ignored the girls behind me. I did notice that the four guys on the other side of the bar had apparently lost interest in those girls. After eating, finishing my beer, and paying the bill, I moved to leave.
With my dog off the bar stool and back on the ground, I turned to see that the scene with the four girls had completely changed. Two of them were now sitting at the table with the two fit guys and the other two standing close by. All the girls looked happy. The two guys looked completely calm and collected. Claire was one of the girls standing.
I walked up to her and quietly asked “How did this happen?”
“One of my friends started talking to them.” Women of all ages on vacation have a completely different frame and are more willing to take social risks they wouldn’t dare try back at home. I’ve witnessed and experienced this a great deal while living here.
I simply nodded and acknowledged Claire’s response. I then unhesitatingly introduced myself to the two young guys fortunate enough to have four vacationing girls just about surrounded them. The guys were local. This meant that they likely dealt with this scenario with tourists previously. I then wished everyone well and walked away into the warm Florida evening air, my ugly dog happily at my side.
Some lessons for men here:
- The lockdown factor applies.
- If you look at her/them for any length of time or more than twice, manlaw dictates that you should approach or you will fail your own shit test. At the very least, acknowledge your appreciation with a physical gesture like a small wave or an eyebrow raise.
- Aloofness can work. Claire was interested in the guys who ignored her, not the guys who looked at her.
- Get a damned dog.