Reality TV Knocks On My Door – A True Story

Almost a month ago I received this missive in my email in-box account:

Hello,

My name is [name redacted]; I am the Casting Director in series development at [redacted] Films in New York City [URL to the production company]. You may recognize us from our most popular series, “[Redacted]” on [redacted] and “[redacted]” on the [redacted] Network.

We are currently casting a series about dating and matchmaking for a male skewed network; and are looking for the perfect matchmaker [she later indicated that it was more about date coaching]. We are looking for someone that can communicate effectively with both men and women. Someone who is down to earth, that people would not mind letting into their lives.

The majority of matchmakers on television are hostile and aggressive, we are not after that style. We do not mind a little bit of tough love for very difficult clients; however, we are not aiming high on the “sassy meter.” We need someone that can help men and women with everything from presentation (dress, what your apartment looks like) to personality.

I saw a few articles about you and came across your website. I am very interested in learning more and would love to see if you would be available to have a 15 minute Skype casting interview with me at some point later this week?

Please let me know if you are interested and when you are available.

Thank you so much for your time.

Best,

[Name Redacted]

Immediately suspicious, I did my research. I found the casting director’s LinkedIn account. Yup, legit. I looked into the production company. Again, legit. This appeared to be no clever Nigerian scam.

We exchanged a few emails where I agreed to do the audition she complimented “my style”. I clearly told her that I was firmly middle age. She still wanted the audition. I also inquired about how she found my blog(s). Her response was a delightfully opaque one word answer: “Google”. Good one, casting director, good one.

So, with Skype installed on my laptop, I booked a conference room at work for privacy and did the audition on June 7, right after lunch. She explained that she would be asking about me and what I do and gave me one piece of advice: “be sure to speak in full sentences”. That’s good advice. I warned her that I would have my own questions at the end of the audition. She agreed laughingly. It was a good start.

The audition lasted just a few minutes. I think I did well. As I’ve had experience in radio and live comedy shows, my presentation was smooth with few vocalized interruptions (link below). As things were concluding, I did ask about the show and where it was in the development process. Due to obvious confidentiality agreements, she couldn’t say much. But she did mention that the show couldn’t progress until they found a host for the show.

“This is what this audition was for?”

“Yes”

I had just been auditioning to be the host.

Interesting.

She told me that I would hear from her a week after the following week. So ended the audition. Within hours I sent a thank you email.

It’s been three weeks since I auditioned and I’ve not heard back. I’ve also learned that at least one other dating advisor has done the audition. Likely, others have, as well. But outside of the Pickup artistry (PUA) guys selling “systems”, I’m one of the few dating advisers who actually specializes in helping men.

This request for an audition points to the fact that there is interest in cable TV land for a show that could possibly deal with actually improving men so that they can meet their relationship goals. Or, it’s just a terrible goof on dating advisers. We’re talking “reality” TV here. Would you watch such a program where a man helps other men be more attractive to women without all of the PUA element?

I’ll keep my readers posted.

Fix Your Damned Voice

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  1. #1 by Socialkenny the black Cassanova on June 29, 2013 - 7:24 PM

    Wow, reminds me of George of 3MM when he’d gotten on the Huffpo interview (if I’m correct it was Huff Po).

    To be auditioned to be the host is a huge step up bro. Keep us posted!

  2. #3 by Young Hunter on June 29, 2013 - 7:28 PM

    I think most of us would watch it if in fact you do host such a show. That said, I watch very little television, so watching it would be an exception made because of the personal interest.

  3. #4 by M3 on June 29, 2013 - 8:25 PM

    To paraphrase the great Spock…

    “Fascinating”

  4. #5 by dannyfrom504 on June 29, 2013 - 8:39 PM

    Keep me posted. K

  5. #6 by Vicomte on June 29, 2013 - 8:48 PM

    You told her you have a TV, right?

    • #7 by theprivateman on June 30, 2013 - 9:16 AM

      Well, um, err… I did mention that I am bereft of a television.

      • #8 by Vicomte on June 30, 2013 - 3:29 PM

        In the meeting:

        ‘He’s perfect!’

        ‘I love him!’

        ‘Exactly what we’re looking for!’

        ‘There is one thing…’

        ‘The ugly dog? The ugly dog is fabulous.’

        ‘Love it.

        ‘The ugly dog is perfect.’

        ‘Love the ugly dog.’

        ‘He doesn’t own a TV.’

        ‘What?’

        ‘What happened to it?’

        ‘Does he have epilepsy? My cousin had epilepsy and…’

        ‘He doesn’t, uh, like, watch TV.’

        ‘That’s un-American!’

        ‘What kind of sick bastard…’

        ‘Next.’

      • #9 by theprivateman on June 30, 2013 - 5:17 PM

        Massive lulz! That is genius. Sadly, it’s probably true.

  6. #10 by steeniee on June 29, 2013 - 10:10 PM

    Hello again PM!
    I think you’d be fabulous as a coach rather than host on this type of reality show. I’m not a huge fan of the genre as I feel most shows are staged and not “reality” at all- but a wider forum for your knowledge and insight would be well worth it to many men (and women like myself)!
    In your opinion which is better- paid dating sites or free? I hope I’m not restating a topic you’ve already discussed and I apologize if that’s the case. I’ve been on three dates through POF and none have panned out due to inaccuracies on profiles ranging from employment status to body type. Does a pay site bring forth a different type of man or all sites the same? My target age range being 37-47.
    I appreciate your feedback and wish you luck if reality TV becomes your future!
    Kristen

    • #11 by theprivateman on June 30, 2013 - 8:55 AM

      Before you spend money on a paid online dating website, check to see if the same profiles are on the free online dating websites. If there is significant overlap, don’t bother with the paid websites. Geographic markets are different. Do your research.

      Oh, and EVERYONE lies on their online dating profiles, men and women alike. That’s a feature, not a bug. I am now advising that everyone – men and women alike – scale back on their online dating efforts and focus more on singles groups arranged through websites like Meetup.com…

      • #12 by Ghostbuster on July 3, 2013 - 12:47 AM

        With online dating, the needs of men are often secondary to the comfort of women. Why do you think you have to give a specific measurement for your height but weight is given as an ambiguous category (athletic, normal, etc.)? In my experience, singles mixers and Meetup.com groups are just as bad. For example, you’ll find arbitrary age restrictions or group activities that either exclude men (Girls’ Night Out!) or don’t interest them (like attending a musical).

        If you make it on the air, I’d be curious to watch an American man try overseas dating as an alternative.

  7. #13 by Del on June 30, 2013 - 12:25 AM

    > Would you watch such a program where a man helps other men be more attractive to women without all of the PUA element?

    I’m not sure. Without the PUA element, only “presentation” is left. Fashion, grooming, home decoration, some superficial tips on how to present yourself, etc. That’s Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, only without the sassiness– which, arguably, was the main attraction of the show.

    • #14 by theprivateman on June 30, 2013 - 8:16 AM

      This is a very valid point. I had completely forgotten about the Queer Eye program.

    • #15 by adiaforon on July 1, 2013 - 2:42 PM

      Agreed. In theory, yes. In practice, you run the risk of it being bowdlerized to fit the censors for “acceptable” content. Better if you just did videos yourself.

  8. #16 by Deti on June 30, 2013 - 12:56 AM

    PM;

    This is great! Congrats!

  9. #17 by Dave on June 30, 2013 - 11:44 AM

    This would be a time compressed make over, so hitting the gym can’t be included, right? More like a fashion make over? Advice on texting, phoning, conversing? It would be interesting until the female target turns out to be a fat, entitled bitch (because they “need love too”, and might constitute a large viewer demographic). That would kill the show dead.

  10. #18 by LostSailor on June 30, 2013 - 4:58 PM

    Congrats. Hope it pans out.

    About the “PUA stuff,” it’s not that you have to drop it completely, but repackage it. I think that a lot of men are turned off by the PUA emphasis on working a “system,” running “scripts” and “routines,” not to mention all the invented lingo and acronyms and the strong emphasis that if you deviate from the system, you’ll fail. At least, that was my experience.

    But that’s not to say that PUA doesn’t offer some compelling insights into female psychology and behavior and how to leverage that into dating success. At first I kind of rejected the PUA strategy until I read Roosh, who presented many of the same concepts but in a more approachable way. Going back to the PUA “stuff” I was able to tease out what would work for me and ignored the rest.

    Of course, the trick would be how much to calibrate the presentation. It might not be effective if soft-pedaled too much and being too direct could bring the screeching harpies of feminism down upon it. Come to think of it, that might be just the thing such a show would need…

  11. #19 by The Lucky Lothario on July 1, 2013 - 6:22 AM

    A genuinely red pill dating show could be awesome. If the guy was ready for some harsh truths and to do some real work. I would love to see a blow-by-blow account of a guy accepting your advice and seeing how much he changed himself in the process. Maybe it’s not flashy enough for great mainstream TV but it would be a great watch for guys who are already switched on (or in the process).

  12. #20 by Yep It's Me on July 1, 2013 - 11:43 AM

    Would I watch such a show?

    Honestly I don’t know. But regardless of whether I’d watch it or not, the question is “Would there be enough regular viewers to justify keeping it on TV?”. I don’t believe giving advice about “how the world really works” is going to give you enough viewers to get renewed – you’d have appeal to a “Blue Pill” world that favors “Fill In The Blank” Housewives to real programming, and on the dating scene, they continue to flock to “Bachelor/Bachelorett” and “Million-dollar Matchmaker” – and I believe those shows in particular are mostly viewed by women – so would your target audience (the one that you built this blog for, the one that reads to understand “how the world really works”) want to watch a watered down, appeals to women/beta male audience?

    Congrats on the step up, always fun to be validated. But it’s a slippery slop – much like the newly elected politician thinking he’s going to be the catalyst for change and not be affected by the “systems”. As my Dad told me growing up, it’s easier to pull a Man down than to pull him up.

    Hope it works out for you.

    • #21 by theprivateman on July 1, 2013 - 12:17 PM

      You raise some very good points. I am under no illusion that any television program is about eyeballs and revenue.

      • #22 by Yep It's Me on July 1, 2013 - 12:38 PM

        BTW, regardless, if the TV thing is the way you want to go (or add another channel for yourself) then potentially be proactive and send in a proposal to one of the “non-traditional” media outlets – like Hulu or Netflix (both of which either help produce or at least distribute original content) – and there is always a chance you could pitch the idea to more main stream but less restrictive outlets like HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, etc.

        I really hope for noting but success and whatever happens, the outcome is what you want.

  13. #23 by The Modern Geisha on July 1, 2013 - 6:08 PM

    Congratulations on being discovered by a reality TV show! How exciting! Keep up the great work and good luck with the audition.

  14. #24 by memememe on July 1, 2013 - 8:17 PM

    Not to rain on your parade, but kindness and fairness regarding the dating world won’t attract viewers in this “anything goes” society we now sadly live in. If you can find a network like Nat Geo or the Discovery channel contact and send them a respectable scientific script, maybe something will come to fruition, but I doubt it since most people don’t like to be reminded of the cold hard facts about sex and biology (ie men and women who rate low on the scale of sexual market value).

    • #25 by theprivateman on July 1, 2013 - 9:24 PM

      I know. Also consider adiaforon’s comment. Both of you are indeed correct so I harbor no illusions about this opportunity.

  15. #26 by E-B on July 2, 2013 - 3:30 PM

    I immediately thought of “Queer Eye” too. I didn’t watch that show, but it was on for a few years, it spawned several books, and it made the hosts recognizable. Not a bad run, all things considered.
    With that in mind, remember that the real audience of “Queer Eye” was women! So the question is if you want to give advice to men in such a way that women will want to watch too. Unless the show is on a obviously male network (e.g. Spike), you would have to have to change your style a bit. You could pull it off, but the question is if you want to.

  1. Reality TV Knocks On My Door – A True Story | Viva La Manosphere!

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