Risk And Mitigation – Motorcycling Be Dangerous!

Finally, after 9 years and almost 130,000 miles, I really dumped my bike. While I didn’t hit anything, I couldn’t keep the bike upright during a serious emergency stop. The upcoming intersection had red light cameras recently installed and so drivers are now too quick to slam on brakes to avoid tripping the flash. The driver in front of me had slammed on his brakes as did all in the line of traffic up to the recent yellow light. One does not slam the brakes on a motorcycle. I was forced to.

I was hurled to the pavement quite violently in the middle of a busy 3 lane (each way) boulevard during rush hour. As traffic was going relatively slowly, the driver behind me didn’t run me over. Knowing how to handle such situations, I didn’t leap up immediately because I had to assess my injuries, even while lying in the road. Sure, I was blocking serious traffic during rush hour but delaying some commuters (who were no doubt shocked to see my screw-up and subsequent violent trip groundward) was not my first concern. I then sat up. Several folks drove slowly past to check on me and I gave the thumbs up because no bones were broken nor blood immediately visible.

A very nice fellow had completely stopped and gotten out of his car to see to my safety and offered to help lift my motorcycle. A young woman at the bus stop walked into the street to also assist. After a few minutes of sitting in the middle of the road to gather my post-accident wits, I got to my feet. I was shaken up but seemingly relatively uninjured. With help from the stopped driver and the young woman, we lifted the bike and pushed it into a very close parking area. The EMTs, police, and fire truck all arrived in short order.

I’m not exactly fine but my injuries – while painful – are not permanent. Motorcycling is a risk, but some of those risks can be mitigated. I was quite well protected by armored boots, gloves, and jacket. As well, my helmet did smack the ground which meant my unprotected head didn’t smack the ground. My enthusiasm is a calculated risk and I won’t give it up. The damage to the motorcycle was mostly cosmetic and I rode home after the incident.

Dating is a risk, too. One person might get too attached too quickly and that attachment is not mutual. A heart is broken. Sex happens too quickly under the same scenario and again, a heart is broken. In the PUA community, “oneitis” (where a guy obsesses too much about one girl) is considered a curse to be avoided. Actually, that’s a form of risk mitigation much like a motorcycle helmet.

There are other forms of risk mitigation in dating. As we are social creatures, being social can help us avoid obsessing about one person. When in the company of multiple human beings, it’s more likely that our focus will fade enough from an unrequited love to make life more bearable. Women tend to be better at this socializing. Men, unfortunately, tend to isolate themselves socially when a heart is broken. They don’t mitigate dating risk nearly as much. A man’s heart can harden when in the confines of his own psyche.

Some dating advisers recommend dating multiple people concurrently in order to meet ultimate relationship goals. This seems to work better for men than women. This is where women aren’t mitigating their dating risks. While it might feel unnatural for a woman to date multiple men, it’s an effective tactic. There’s an important note here: after a certain age, dating does not have to always mean sex. There can be other forms of physical intimacy as well as closeness and comfort. Shut up, you younger guys only looking for nookie. I’m the wise, old uncle and I know of what I speak.

So while I own motorcyling gear (protection from crashing) it’s important that you have dating gear (protection from broken hearts). Sadly, there’s no store to buy dating gear, there’s only emotional strength, willingness to socialize, and the willingness to date multiple people simultaneously. Let’s be careful out there.

About these ads
  1. #1 by insideawomansmind on February 5, 2013 - 1:34 PM

    I’m happy the wise, old uncle wasn’t seriously injured.

    And you’re right – motorcycles are dangerous. But they’re so, so masculine. A red Ducati 996 is pure orgasm.

    • #2 by theprivateman on February 5, 2013 - 2:04 PM

      Does a nine year old Suzuki V-Strom with 129K on the odometer count?

      • #3 by Anaïs on February 5, 2013 - 2:39 PM

        Yes

      • #4 by insideawomansmind on February 5, 2013 - 2:41 PM

        Sure it does! Maybe it’s not orgasm in itself, but it def counts. :)

      • #5 by TRW on February 5, 2013 - 11:19 PM

        As someone who had a 996 (ST4) it was/is one of the most efficient engines ever made. Think I got 250 out of that tank @ avg.50 mpg to the gallon. Us older guys have the change to drop cash on the best gear…never a bad idea. Glad you’re okay TPM!..”“The real cycle you’re working on is a cycle called yourself.” Zen and the ARt of Motorcycle Maintenance.

  2. #6 by Dr. Illusion on February 5, 2013 - 1:53 PM

    I can’t believe you didn’t break a hip, gramps. I assume you drive a goldwing?

    He he he. I got hit by an 18 wheeler while crossing an intersection on a Suzuki DR-200 when I was 15 years old. Quite a while in the hospital. It sucks. Glad you were not seriously injured.

    • #7 by theprivateman on February 5, 2013 - 2:02 PM

      I believe this is a dress rehearsal for breaking a hip.

  3. #8 by tj on February 5, 2013 - 2:01 PM

    Whoa – glad to hear you’re okay. Did something similar – once – with the added excuse of fresh front brake pads.

    Love the perspective on mental riding gloves and jacket for dating….

    Keep the shiny side up!

    tj in Madison, who’s wishing he could be riding his 2008 FZ6 today instead of shoveling snow.

  4. #9 by LostSailor on February 5, 2013 - 2:32 PM

    There’s an important note here: after a certain age, dating does not have to always mean sex.

    Hopefully I have at least another 40 years before I reach that milestone.

    Glad neither you nor the machine were seriously harmed.

    And, isn’t this a store for getting dating gear?

    • #10 by theprivateman on February 5, 2013 - 2:36 PM

      Eh, the dating gear store will open soon. Stay tuned.

      • #11 by M3 on February 5, 2013 - 3:40 PM

        Can i sell my My Slut Number Is shirts through your store on consignment?

  5. #12 by gregariouswolf on February 5, 2013 - 2:51 PM

    V-Strom is a fun ride. Glad you are not seriously injured!

  6. #13 by Vicomte on February 5, 2013 - 2:55 PM

    I always wonder what you do in the rain.

    • #14 by theprivateman on February 5, 2013 - 10:21 PM

      I always carry rain gear and modern motorcycle tires retain 90% of their grip in the rain. I’ve seen videos of motorcycle racing in the rain and the riders throw their bikes into the turns as if the pavement were almost dry.

      • #15 by Vicomte on February 6, 2013 - 12:36 AM

        Really?

        Duly noted.

      • #16 by Dr. Illusion on February 6, 2013 - 11:31 AM

        Only thing bad about driving a motorcycle in the rain, if you don’t have appropriate gear, is that raindrops really hurt at 80 mph.

      • #17 by Hamster Tamer on February 6, 2013 - 3:04 PM

        Indeed, there was a great Native American (Lakota/Sioux) warchief whose name translated to “Rain In The Face” for the effect he had on his enemies… lol… though Gen. Custer failed to see the humor.

    • #18 by Vicomte on February 6, 2013 - 8:20 PM

      Jesus, Doc. I wouldn’t even take four wheels up to eighty in the rain.

      I’d like to die doing something heroic, personally.

  7. #19 by nightskyradio on February 5, 2013 - 3:34 PM

    I’ve always wanted a motorbike, but never got one. I’m not afraid of riding it – I rode dirt bikes as a kid – it’s other drivers that worry me. This town has a rep as being one of the worst in the country regarding bad drivers.

    “dating does not have to always mean sex. There can be other forms of physical intimacy as well as closeness and comfort.”

    Sitting on the couch with her completely cuddled up on your lap.

  8. #20 by M3 on February 5, 2013 - 3:38 PM

    And here i was seriously contemplating getting a motorcycle license… earlier this year.. and you go and write about this.

    Bah.

    I’m still going ahead with it… Organ Donor or BUST!

    • #21 by tj on February 6, 2013 - 10:56 AM

      @M3 – do it. Try it out and see if you like – if you don’t no biggie – you’ve tried something.

      Odds are tho, you’ll catch the bug too.

      And do take a Motorcycle Safety Class – well worth the few dollars and time invested.

  9. #22 by 3rd Millenium Men on February 5, 2013 - 4:02 PM

    Damn. Glad you’re okay Private Man!!! As for the Oneitis… currently retelling an epic saga on my page. You’re right, there’s no damn protection for it!

  10. #23 by BALZAC on February 5, 2013 - 5:50 PM

    Yep. Other forms of physical intimacy include spanking her ass. And then some.

    • #24 by Hamster Tamer on February 5, 2013 - 7:01 PM

      Indeed!… but then some lasses (say, from Brazil) will grow jaded, and beg to be choked… until UNconscious! I was just too “Beta” to go there… even for a bodacious bod… with spicy tanlines.

  11. #25 by Hamster Tamer on February 5, 2013 - 6:55 PM

    Hours later I held up 2 fingers, TPM answered “three”, so I knew he was “within spec”. :lol: (Four was my threshold for “Get a CAT Scan”.)

    Seriously, if I understand the location and direction of travel, you kissed the asphalt literally 50 meters from the newly relocated fire station… curious as to how much dispatch “overhead” (read: delay) was involved in getting them to basically cross the street and roll down that little slope? I’m imagining 911 calls routed thru Orlando, lol.

    A man’s heart can harden when in the confines of his own psyche.
    That’s some eloquent insight. See, his hay-ed is fine. Give your helmet a donut… good helmet… then REPLACE it–compromised per NHTSA/DOT stds…??

    • #26 by Richard Cranium on February 6, 2013 - 1:21 PM

      Yes absolutely get a new brain bucket they’re one time only use.

  12. #27 by tm on February 5, 2013 - 7:10 PM

    Glad you’re relatively okay TPM and the bike is still rideable! Crashing always sucks.

    Great insight about motorcycling and dating.

  13. #28 by Tim on February 5, 2013 - 7:36 PM

    Glad to hear that you’re not injured.

    If motorcycles weren’t dangerous, they wouldn’t be exciting. Same for girls, I suppose.

  14. #29 by Richard Cranium on February 5, 2013 - 8:26 PM

    Wow man sorry to hear you spilled the bike it can be dangerous riding around SoFLa on 2 wheels. Glad you’re ok.

  15. #30 by Faust on February 5, 2013 - 9:34 PM

    I’m glad that red light camera was there to help keep people safe!

    Man I’m glad they’re taking those stupid things out.

    • #31 by Hamster Tamer on February 6, 2013 - 1:26 AM

      So overtly bogus, such a bald-faced revenue scam, that no “points” are even logged against the license of the “offender” (in FL anyway)! Some judges still have a sense of right and wrong, and summarily toss them out. (But that’s still a half-day off work, hassle, etc.)

      In reality they INcrease accidents… as w/ TPM.

  16. #32 by tm on February 5, 2013 - 9:49 PM

    “One does not slam the brakes on a motorcycle. I was forced to.”

    True. But if one day you get another Strommer it’ll come with ABS :) But my biggest fear is being rear ended.

  17. #33 by Socialkenny on February 5, 2013 - 9:56 PM

    Deep deep deep is all I can say here.

    I’ve always viewed motorcycle riding as dumb and suicidal, but I guess that would be like saying getting into relationships are dumb too since it’s a risk.

  18. #34 by Bronan the Barbarian! on February 5, 2013 - 10:52 PM

    I’d like to present the best song about wrecking your motorcycle ever:

  19. #35 by jv on February 6, 2013 - 1:09 AM

    Ouch! Glad you didn’t have any serious injuries.

  20. #36 by Nupnupnup on February 6, 2013 - 4:49 AM

    Glad to hear no permanent injuries. Still, this won’t dissuade me from buying a nice machine this spring (currently the Yamaha FZ8 looks like the prime contender, although I still might go all out and see about getting the Suzuki Virus).

    As for protective gear for hearts, it actually does exist and is sold in specialized stores: there are some indications (I am quite convinced that we will see more of that in the future) that broken hearts go a long with abnormally low serotonin (very similar to OCD and indeed, the obsessive part of it seems quite similar) meaning the usual suspects to treat OCD/depression can guard against it. It’s not perfect (neither in the effect nor in the side-effects) but it does exist.

  21. #37 by sosweet2362 on February 6, 2013 - 5:36 AM

    Glad you’re ok TPM. I was 10 when I had my first (and last) motorcycle accident. 3 days in the hospital instead of on the beach. BTW, I agree with HamsterTamer, helmet needs to be replaced.

  22. #38 by PussyHoundontheDole on February 6, 2013 - 6:41 AM

    Agreed. I had a bike myself. Ran into a car that was trying to cut across. The problem is that people are not looking for a bike. If you have a bike, just ride it on weekends and special ocassions. You ride it everywhere like I did, it becomes dangerous. It was great for dates though. Something about a man on a bike that get’s girls wet. It’s even better than being a man on the dole hahahaha!

  23. #39 by wingman on February 6, 2013 - 1:29 PM

    Sorry to hear about the accident PM – sure glad you’re OK. I’ve lost 2 friends to motorcycles already – one due to an old guy making a left turn into my buddy, the other due to his own recklessness. Your point on being adequately protected is well-taken.

  24. #40 by Hamster Tamer on February 6, 2013 - 3:14 PM

    Ironically (or prophetically?), just one week prior, over smokes and vino, TPM mentioned a new line of motor-sickle jackets which deploy multiple airbags on impact. Seemed a bit cartoon-ish at the time… now, not so much. In fact, after some web-searching, kind of ingenious.

  25. #41 by dannyfrom504 on February 7, 2013 - 4:04 AM

    i’m getting a motor-sicle when i get to texas. i need to buy a used one soon to learn.

    the money you save on gas makes them WELL worth while. but i shan’t be getting a rice-rocket. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

    oh, aspercream might help out. tried to call and tell you, but got VM- that your old ass STILL haven’t set up.

    • #42 by Hamster Tamer on February 7, 2013 - 11:13 PM

      TPM… and his phone… and his carrier…Lulz.

      Anyway, saw a very “lived-in” Harley at the grocery store yesterday, parked, no one around. Had a tandem seat/saddle arrangement I don’t remember seeing before; i.e. passenger/tail seat had a small backrest, not unusual, but… main seat also had a low backrest, CONTOURED, in addition to the deep “scoop” of the saddle itself. At first I thought “that’s gonna come between you and yer womyn, interfere w/ her hugging-on and ‘bonding’, intimacy, etc…”

      … then I looked closer… NOT much space between those two backrests. Doubt a woman over 115 lbs., or with any kind of “thunder thighs” could squeeze into that petite perch–BING! And *that*, I believe, is the guy’s intention, i.e. built-in Obesity Filter v2.0! Harsh Realm… :wink:

  26. #43 by a guy on February 7, 2013 - 4:16 AM

    Hey TPM,

    From what I understand, the hardcore bikers say that you’re not a real biker until you’ve dumped it at least once. So, congrats! You’re in the club now!

  27. #44 by JulesK on February 7, 2013 - 9:08 AM

    Motorcycles are especially dangerous on our modern roads (crowded, full of bad driving). They just don’t seem worth it. It’s not even a kind of danger you have much control over. You’re in Florida, take up polo or something.

    • #45 by tj on February 7, 2013 - 11:14 AM

      Polo ponies don’t bring the tingle the way a bike will – and they’re way less fun to ride

  28. #46 by Char on February 7, 2013 - 12:28 PM

    Sorry to read about your accident Private Man. Glad you were not seriously injured.

  29. #47 by Peacemaker on February 7, 2013 - 11:05 PM

    OT: You hit the nail on the head with “cluster B”.

  30. #48 by Richard Cranium on February 8, 2013 - 1:10 AM

    I’m still getting one later this year when I have the scratch it’s just too much fun

  31. #49 by Hamster Tamer on February 8, 2013 - 9:48 PM

    There’s an important note here: after a certain age, dating does not have to always mean sex. There can be other forms of physical intimacy as well as closeness and comfort.
    :???: Thanks to Bill Clinton, if there’s no pregnancy, it wasn’t sex! I’m almost a virgin! :wink:

  32. #50 by annie1701 on February 9, 2013 - 3:59 PM

    I know it’s a good idea to date multiple men at once (I am one of those horrid old fashioned women with traditional values who doesn’t think dating and sex automatically go together),

    BUT IT’S SO MUCH OF AN EFFORT!

    I am fat, so I’m lucky to find one good man to date, let alone several!

    I don’t know how you men manage the dating-multiple-women thing. Doesn’t it take a lot of effort?

    • #51 by Nupnupnup on February 10, 2013 - 5:14 AM

      Then, I don’t know, maybe lose weight?

      • #52 by annie1701 on February 10, 2013 - 7:29 PM

        Interesting that you picked up those three words. Why comment on those three words?

        Can’t resist an opportunity to make a fat woman feel bad about herself?

      • #53 by LostSailor on February 11, 2013 - 11:15 AM

        Gee, Annie, you go out of your way to mention that you’re fat and link to your blog about being fat, I guess it’s a stretch to pick up on those three words.

      • #54 by Nupnupnup on February 11, 2013 - 3:55 PM

        trying to shame me into feeling guilty? not going to work. unlike you, I accepted the card life has dealt me and am not running around blaming women on something that is clearly my own deficiency. do like my situation? of course not but at least I don’t expect people to feel for me not getting my act together

    • #55 by JulesK on February 10, 2013 - 6:56 AM

      What’s your workout schedule like Annie? Is someone working with you? It really is harder for some people. I had a subordinate that had no idea how to push herself in a workout (like, she literally had no idea where that sweet spot between too little and too much/too hard was). Still, I wasn’t actually *living* with her, and she didn’t really start to drop significant amounts of weight until her sister moved in and helped her monitor her diet. She was someone who’d been fairly thin through her teens, got married and had kids early and had never been one to work out. She piled on the pounds and had no point of reference for dropping them. And of course, some people’s metabolisms just slow down earlier/faster. If you can drop the weight you’ll feel a lot better, dating or no dating…

  33. #56 by JulesK on February 10, 2013 - 7:01 AM

    And for the record, she was pretty fat, not just a bit chunky. It can be done, but there is no doubt that it’s harder to attain (and maintain) for some. With that in mind, if you can afford good help or have a fit friend who’s willing to be a pain in the ass, it seems to be a big help.

    • #57 by annie1701 on February 10, 2013 - 8:30 PM

      Why assume that “I’m fat” means “I’m not losing weight?” (although! alas! I’m not losing weight, and I’m feeling ranty today)

      This isn’t a rant directed at you, JulesK! I truly think you’re coming from a good place, but I always get a bit riled up when people assume that “I’m fat” means “I don’t know how to lose weight” or “I’m not making an effort to lose weight.” If only it were as easy as figuring out the magic formula and going from “fat” to “slim” overnight! Unfortunately, weight loss takes a lot of time. If you’ve ever tried to lose significant weight, then you know it’s a slow and tedious process.

      Yeah, it’s possible to drop 100 lbs in three months but when you do that, the weight usually comes right back on. The means and methods needed to lose weight at such a rapid rate aren’t sustainable. Low-carbers can drop ridiculous weight in a matter of weeks, but it’s hard to sustain, and as soon as you quit and start eating carbs again, the weight tends to come right back on. The harsh fact of reality is that whatever you do for weight maintenance is going to need to look exactly like what you did to lose it. The weight isn’t going to stay off without a sustainable and permanent lifestyle change. I’d like to lose weight permanently, so I’m doing it slowly. I’m not going to be thin and slender at any time in the very near future.

      Actually, I do HIIT cardio 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Additionally, I spend 30 additional minutes each weekday on strength training with my personal trainer. In addition to that, I’m an avid hiker who likes to go on grueling and lengthy hikes every weekend. (I’m in good shape, and I keep improving – I know where the sweet spot lies.)

      And I’ve already lost 30 pounds. But I’ve got a ways left to go. So I’m going to continue to be fat for many months to come.

      I have 2 conditions called “hypothyroid” and “PCOS”, which are pretty darned annoying (thank your stars if you don’t have these issues). I wasn’t fat until I developed these conditions and put on a huge amount of weight in only year without even trying!! Having hypothyroid and PCOS makes weight loss a pretty brutal uphill battle – they’re treatable conditions for sure, but they slow weight loss down in a major way, so I’m going to be fat for a long, long time. Right now, I’m feeling antsy because my weight loss has just stalled out for the past month, and I really want to see if there’s anything medical behind it! I had an appointment with my doctor on Monday morning, but now I’m snowed in and won’t be able to make it! I’m feeling very, very, very, very, very, very discouraged, because I’ve done amazingly well with my workouts and nutrition this month, and nothing to show for it!

      I think it’s wrong to assume that people are fat, lazy, do-nothings who don’t know anything about fitness simply because they say that they’re fat. It’s like leaping to the assumption that a guy must do nothing but sit on his butt playing video games all day because he’s hurting for money. You don’t know how much effort a person is already putting into changing their situation.

      And it makes me sad that weight is such an important factor for men. It makes me hope that I’ll meet the right person before I reach my goal weight, because then I’ll know for certain that my body wasn’t a big factor in his attraction to me. I don’t think I’d want to be in a relationship where my partner only values me for my body, but it’ll be harder to tell who’s genuine and who isn’t once I’m slim. If I lose weight and suddenly find myself more popular with men, it’ll hurt me, because I’ll always have that nagging question in the back of my mind: “Why am I good enough for you now, at this size?” I’m more than a body, and I want to fall in love with someone who is able to value more than my body!

      • #58 by JulesK on February 11, 2013 - 5:29 AM

        I agree – it’s *very* hard for some. I’ve seen girls who had *always* been thin develop a thyroid condition and absolutely blow up, so the thyroid issues aren’t something to be scoffed at. Anyway, I should tell you about a couple I know who is very happy – and you know what? They’re *both* kind of fat. Congrats on getting in shape, either way. Even if you can’t get to that perfect weight and don’t always “have something to show for it”, your body will thank you. And all I meant by not knowing how to push herself is that she wasn’t in touch with her body enough to know when she was just not working hard enough to make a real difference (which is why it can be helpful to have some kind of “coach”). At the same time, I could see someone like her allowing someone to push her too hard and then getting injured (I see people get hurt in Crossfit that way, and not a fan of Crossfit for that reason – it would be just another workout if not for the cult aspect).

      • #59 by tj on February 11, 2013 - 2:04 PM

        @Annie – it makes you sad that weight matters to men – and it does matter, for most of us. It makes us sad and frustrated that height/wealth/faicial hair/smoking/glasses/children/style of shoes we’re wearing and a million other things matter to women as they reject us. Life’s not particularly fair – and women reject men for surface matters an incredible amount of the time without pausing to consider the amazing man within – and have no problem bouncing off with someone that everyone – including themselves – knows is “bad” for them.

        Speaking for myself, I don’t date overweight women b/c I don’t find them physically attractive – I flat out won’t date a woman who weighs more than my 180. We all know there are some for whom weight isn’t something they can do anything about. However, for the vast majority, weight is a lifestyle choice and can be changed and having an appealing figure entices me to want to learn more about the woman – just as does a happy and positve, nonbitchy outlook on life.

        Many kudos to you for your efforts – may you be doing this primarily for yourself.

      • #60 by Nupnupnup on February 11, 2013 - 3:09 PM

        Why would you go back to eating more carbs if low carbs worked to lose weight (properly setup low carb diets are not crash diets, either)? Honest question. Please don’t tell me you need carbs to survive because that is clearly bullshit (I am on lowish carbs for quite a while now, so I know firsthand it’s doable).

        > And it makes me sad that weight is such an important factor for men
        Whereas women do not put any value at all on self confidence and charisma in men. Things that are much harder to attain than losing weight.

        If you truly want to know why men value looks, there is a way to understand that but I would not suggest taking it. Trans-women with Testosterone injections have reported starting to understand what is going on inside men’s heads.

      • #61 by LostSailor on February 11, 2013 - 4:54 PM

        Low-carbers can drop ridiculous weight in a matter of weeks, but it’s hard to sustain, and as soon as you quit and start eating carbs again, the weight tends to come right back on. The harsh fact of reality is that whatever you do for weight maintenance is going to need to look exactly like what you did to lose it.

        Uh, yeah. Low carb/paleo isn’t a “diet,” it’s just how you eat; your mistake is going back to eating carbs. And low carb doesn’t mean no carb, but you’re going to pretty much say goodbye to processed carbs, like most breads and pastas. The most important carb to cut out and never touch again is sugar and other caloric sweeteners. That one step will do wonders.

        Another truth is that you’ll do better by making as much of the food you eat yourself. It can sometimes be a pain, but you have much more control. It also helps control portion size, which is a huge factor. Constantly eating out is a good way to fail as most restaurant food can be loaded with hidden calories.

        A couple of years ago I used these same steps–actually cut my portion size in nearly half and bought smaller plates–along with exercise to lose some 45 pounds and have kept it off.

        I think it’s wrong to assume that people are fat, lazy, do-nothings who don’t know anything about fitness simply because they say that they’re fat…You don’t know how much effort a person is already putting into changing their situation.

        We don’t know because we don’t particularly care. We don’t grade on effort but the end result.

        And it makes me sad that weight is such an important factor for men.

        The reality make you sad. Weight is also a factor in attractiveness for women. And height, which a man can’t control, is an even bigger factor. But we deal with it. Just because a man finds a woman’s body attractive doesn’t mean that’s the only thing he values. Yours is a common error that women make. One that’s most often used as an excuse to blame men for a woman’s poor choices. A man may find a woman charming, witty, intelligent, pleasant, and fun, but he’s going to prefer to find those qualities in a slender woman rather than a fat woman.

      • #62 by JulesK on February 12, 2013 - 1:12 PM

        Women care too (about whether you’re fat or not). Since this is the internet and we’re all being honest, I don’t think I could ever date a fatty. Sort of the female equivalent of failing the boner test…

      • #63 by Annie1701 on February 19, 2013 - 1:28 AM

        Yes, lost sailor, reality does make me sad. The assertion that reality shouldn’t ever make a person sad is ridiculous. All kind of horrid things happen in reality, and we have every right to feel bad about about those things. For all the moaning and griping and complaining about how awful women are for “demanding” that men be rich and charismatic (I don’t want to hear that “it’s so much haaaaaarrrrddeerrrr” for men to earn more money or become more charismatic, because it simply isn’t true. Neither wealth nor charisma are particularly difficult to achieve, but as with weight loss, you need to actually lift a finger and make an effort. Wallowing in self-pity will not get you anywhere,)

        But anyway, I find it more than a little strange that you’d be defending the male preference for taut and slender bodies as “a fact of life….just accept it” when all you ever seem to do here is complain about women and their “demands.” There are different rules for me and for you? Your demands are “your right….women need to accept it,” but when a woman has demands, she’s “a bitch,” huh? You get to complain about the superficiality of the opposite sex, but I don’t? The fact that men put such focus on looks is frustrating and it does make me sad, just like the female preference for charisma and wealth is frustrating for you. The fact that it’s “reality” doesn’t change my sadness and frustration.

        Furthermore, LostSailor, I don’t know why you feel a need to remind me of the fact that men find my size undesirable. Are you afraid that I’ve forgotten about it for a nanosecond? Do you imagine that I don’t spend every waking moment of my life thinking about how my weight makes me repulsive to all men? Do you think I’m not already aware of it? Or did you just want to hurt some random person on the internet by holding her head down and rubbing her face in her very deepest pain? I’m glad if reminding me of how ugly and undesirable I am makes you feel powerful, LostSailor, but I already feel bad enough as it is, and I don’t need you to remind me about it.

        Futhermore, saying that “I’m fat” is merely a statement of fact. It is not a request for weight loss advice, nor is it a lamentation of my “failed!” weight loss efforts. My weight loss efforts are not failing. What I’ve been doing *is* working; I have already lost 30 pounds and I am continuing to lose. When I say “I’m fat,” I don’t need you to tell me what I’m doing wrong. Since I’ve managed to lose 30 pounds, it would seem that I’m actually doing a lot of things right.

        I’m sorry that I’m not able to snap my fingers and lose 30 pounds within a five-minute span of time (maybe if I learned to be more feminine, I could magically become thin overnight?) but I’m curious to learn how long it took you to lose those 45 pounds, Lost Sailor. If there is a *MAGICAL LOW-CARB LIFESTYLE PLAN* that enabled you to shed those 45 pounds in 24 hours and keep them off permanently, you should market it widely, for it would make you a very rich man.

        I’m willing to bet that it took you several months to lose those 45 pounds, right? How quickly did you lose those 45 pounds? It was probably closer to 5 months than 5 mintues, right? That’s because permanent weight loss needs to be a slow and steady process. Every doctor, trainer and nutritionist in the world will confirm the truth of what I say.

        I never “went back to eating carbs,” so thanks, you don’t need to lecture me about that. I actually never stopped eating (low-gi) carbs, and I’ve lost 30 pounds just fine. I’ve never attempted a low-carb diet, and I most likely won’t ever bother with it, because I don’t need to do that in order to lose weight. I’m glad that low-carb has worked for you, but it wouldn’t be a sustainable lifestyle change for me.

        I don’t need diet tips, though. Saying “I’m fat” isn’t an invitation for everyone to start giving me diet tips. It’s more than a little sad that people in the manosphere can’t seem to resist jumping all over a person simply for saying “I’m fat” (did you happen to catch any of the rest of that post that contained the Three Dreaded Words? Guess not, becuz ‘I’m fat” is the be-all and end-all of everything, RITE??) Fat women really must rile your goat, but why?

        And don’t give me the old “I don’t care” line, LostSailor, because I know that it’s BS. The fact that you took the time to reply to me with a load of diet tips (that I didn’t ask for) is evidence that you do care. Guess what? If you don’t care about it, then you don’t need to share your comments on it. Agreed?

      • #64 by LostSailor on February 19, 2013 - 11:35 AM

        Well, someone certainly has a need to wave their raw nerves in public.

        But for your edification, men don’t demand women with taut, slender bodies and pleasant dispositions, we prefer them. Those are attractive qualities, so that’s what we seek. It’s not a demand, it’s just a fact.

        Neither do we complain about demanding women. Demanding women are usually unpleasant women, and thus are to be avoided. Part of this site is geared to help men recognize the more subtle warning signs of demanding, unpleasant women so they can be avoided when dating and not waste a man’s time. That women prefer men with charisma and wealth isn’t frustrating, it’s knowledge that men can use to their advantage.

        As for me “reminding” you that you’re fat, I did nothing of the kind. You write a long comment to post here solely focused on the fact that you’re fat, you’re reminding yourself that you’re fat. In fact, this latest comment is all about how you’re fat. Don’t try to place responsibility for reminding everyone that you’re fat on me.

        And, really, I don’t care. Not in the least. You mistake commenting as caring for what it really is: idle amusement.

      • #65 by annie1701 on March 18, 2013 - 12:20 PM

        It’s sad that this is an idle amusement for you.

        I know now why you’re unable to find that sweet/feminine/kind woman you’re after. What woman like that would want someone who takes pleasure in poking at someone’s raw nerves and rubbing their face in their very deepest pain? Kind, feminine, morally upstanding women don’t want to date cruel men who take pleasure in causing hurt to others.

        This may be the reason why you’re operating under the delusion that such women are “a rarity.”

        The fact that this is “idle amusement” to you is disgusting.

      • #66 by Nupnupnup on February 21, 2013 - 4:44 AM

        Earning more money in fact is not that hard – it’s also not terribly helpful in this context (I’ve been making six figures right out of university and ever since, so I know. Besides, who wants to date gold diggers). In fact, it may hurt you, because usually the well paid jobs become with bad hours that will prevent you from actually going out and meeting anyone.

  34. #67 by ‘Reality’ Doug on February 10, 2013 - 9:19 PM

    Glad you were not hurt seriously. You must really be focused on blogging, and how you live, to relate a recent and personal motorcycle crash to the dating scene. You were wearing great gear no doubt. The blog post reminds me of how a Wampa attack on Luke Skywalker was added to the Star Wars script to account for the facial injuries sustained by Mark Hamill in a car crash. May the force of seduction be with you.

  35. #68 by redpillwifey on February 24, 2013 - 8:46 AM

    Glad you’re ok, PM!

  1. Risk And Mitigation – Motorcycling Be Dangerous! « PUA Central

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,423 other followers

%d bloggers like this: