Game For Smokers – Post Recycle

I am a smoker. [Update – I have pretty much stopped] About a year ago I remembered some funny lines from a comedian regarding smoking. Since then, I’ve been using these canned lines on women which incorporate my filthy habit into a good opening.

This works when I am sitting next to a woman at a bar or in a small group with a target of opportunity. It’s also excellent practice and a good confidence booster. When I’m going to go outside for a smoke I get my cigarettes in hand and turn to the woman sitting next to me…

Me: “Do you smoke?”

Her: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Do you… want to learn?”

If you’re going to use these lines, raise your eyebrows and ask completely innocently.  Be sure to pause after you say “Do you”. That pause is critical because the “want to learn?” is the punchline and you want to deliver it with the correct timing. She will always laugh and appreciate the humor.

Her: “No, I really don’t smoke.” She’s laughing at this point.

Me: “Come on, all the cool kids are doing it.”

Her (laughing still): “No…”

Me (as I’m turning to leave): “Chicken” or “Well, it’s always polite to offer”

Now I go out to smoke. When I return, she’s usually waiting for me and I’ve opened her for a continuing conversation.

There are a lot of dynamics going on with this very small verbal exchange. I usually come across as funny, confident, and a bit cocky.

On the rare chance she actually does smoke, I invite her out with me where I can continue the chat.

Feel free to use this. It’s been remarkably successful to start conversations with strangers.

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  1. #1 by M3 on October 19, 2012 - 3:32 PM

    Too late.

    I’ve re-quit for the 17th time.

    Good advice tho.

  2. #2 by Fearless on October 19, 2012 - 5:05 PM

    Like it, simple and concise.

  3. #3 by Jimmy on October 19, 2012 - 5:47 PM

    Brilliiant! I will use this.Thanks.

  4. #5 by aneroidocean on October 19, 2012 - 9:03 PM

    I wish I could stand girls that smoke, because I’ve heard they give great head. Of course, I’ve heard the same about fat girls and we know I’m not going near them.

    Q: Why do fat girls give such great head?

    A: Because they’re HUUUUUNGRY! *rolls around on the ground*

    • #6 by Hamster Tamer on October 24, 2012 - 11:02 AM

      If a slender/HWP gal is Classy, Courteous, and Considerate about her smoking, she’s OK with moi. The 3 Cs means she KNOWS not to smoke in MY spaces. An added plus is she doesn’t smoke even in her own car and home, which I find is fairly common.

      I’m already too picky, so if a wimminz wants to extend her manicured digits to partake of a ciggy (IN LIEU OF A BON-BON!) then she’s Jake with me! ;^) (Note to self: obtain chi-chi Dunhill lighter for maximum suave…) It’s no coincidence that the decline in smoking mirrors the rise in obesity. Tobacco is an effective appetite suppressant.

  5. #7 by greenlander on October 20, 2012 - 12:40 AM

    Second variant:

    Q: Why do fat girls give such great head?

    A: Because they HAVE to!

  6. #8 by Random Angeleno on October 21, 2012 - 12:09 AM

    Third variant:

    Q: Why do fat girls give such great head?

    A: Because it’s the only crease readily available!

  7. #9 by Realiti Czech on October 21, 2012 - 3:05 AM

    Heh. I’m a nonsmoker, and have dated a few smokers before. The smoking area of clubs is a great place to meet women, without loud music requiring you to shout every word. If you try this angle, always carry a functioning cigarette lighter. NEVER let them keep the lighter. Always get it back. It’s chick crack.
    The lighter also gives you a joke line.
    “Why do you carry that if you don’t smoke?” They always ask this.
    “Sometimes I feel the need to burn down a national forest…” or “arson’s a hobby of mine.” Smart-ass answers work wonders.

    • #10 by theprivateman on October 21, 2012 - 9:10 AM

      Sir, I like the cut of your jib. Your online name is good, too. Comment often… this, I decree!

    • #11 by aneroidocean on October 22, 2012 - 6:44 PM

      Girls are much better at covering up the stench of cigarettes, but I just can’t get past it. I can’t think of anything nastier than kissing a smoker right after a cigarette. I’ve dated two girls that smoked kind of casually so I never experienced it…until that one time (in the case of one of the girls, I got into her car and immediately got out after realizing I’d taken a dive into an ashtray).

  8. #12 by Peacemaker on October 26, 2012 - 9:13 AM

    Smoking is an awesome way to start a convo. Though I always have a lighter on me, I’ll ask a cute girl for hers. “Hey, can I borrow your lighter? Thanks. How’s your night been?” Never fails.

  1. LIGFY – Oct 21 | Society of Amateur Gentlemen

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