Archive for June, 2012
To cap off a truly shitty week, I have just learned that Munson has passed away.
His story is a page on my blog. Please read the comments on that page because Munson wrote many of them. His life was epic and interesting.
He will be missed.
Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve banged out over 300 new posts. I have recycled a few posts, as well. My regular commenters are always welcome and I especially encourage new commenters to jump in. The growing page view traffic and comments are encouraging. But it’s the emails which really motivate me. I dispense advice when requested and sometimes I get an email like this:
Hello Private Man,
You know, I’d never thought to myself that I’d be emailing you, or any of the other Manosphere personas that have been spreading Red Pill Wisdom. But the truth, when realized, always shatters the lies that the apprentice had been told before listening in to the master(s).
Anyway, you asked about getting in touch in the your second last post, so here it is:
You seem to be (and I’m not trying to flatter here) a fragment of the father figure that I have lacked growing up.
It’s interesting witnessing myself writing that last sentence. Is it my lack of acknowledgement, arrogance or indifference towards my own father? Not necessarily; I love my father dearly, and am immensely grateful that him and my mother went through so much to raise me and 3 sisters (more on that, if I keep writing;), and wouldn’t trade in the world to have him replaced.
And yet, here I am, a serendipitous stumbler into the world of the Manosphere. [I'm trying to remember how and when it happened, but that is a distant faded memory; as if its necessity has always been there]
I’m not the first one; nor am I going to be the last of my generation (or the next, if things continue to be as bad as they are for men) to be seeking out what has been, by nature, a prerogative for us men. But all that which has been lost under the veil of ‘civilization’ is now being revealed, slowly but surely (As the Chateau puts it: “where pretty lies perish”).
I wasn’t sure if my part of the world is contributing to lifting the veil. I grew up in the Middle East amongst 3 sisters, with parents who’d migrated from the delta country of South Asia. A typical family upbringing, and yet upon closer inspection, and armed with Red Pill Wisdom, one can diagnose the illness that had come and washed over the psyche of a male amongst female family member; an absent father who’s always at work, and a mother and sisterhood who had tried their best to ‘help’ their only brother, but ended up really fucking over his masculine entitlement.
You get the picture now.
Perhaps because there is so much to read up on in the Manosphere, I’m sure there are other with a similar story as mine, and we’re all striving to become aficionados of the school of charisma and crimson arts.
With that, I want to thank you for your input to this world, and hope that, because of your contribution, I still get to enjoy life 20 years from now (when I’m 45+) without the chains that bind, and the lies that kill the spirit of man.
[I think it's very appropriate that you are the first Manospherian I should consult, among the many others whom I hope to consult in the coming days. What's interesting (probably the rationalization hamster doing this) is that you seem to be one of the few who, on account of his years, have a long-view of things as they are. (referring to your 'about' page)]
That’s quite an endorsement for me and the whole Manosphere. Despite some challenges in my personal life, I will endeavor to keep writing because of emails like this. I hope that all my readers are telling their friends about the Manosphere.
In the course of a high-conflict divorce, the soon-to-be ex-wife has an iron clad grasp of hypergamy. She knows that by getting as much of her husband’s assets and income, she is reducing his level of attraction to women. A guy who is paying out the nose for alimony and child support is going to lose major points in the post-divorce sexual market place (SMP).
The ex-wives know this. As they were likely hypergamous in their marriage decision, they know that by limiting their ex-husbands access to resources they are limiting their ex-husbands dating options. It’s cold revenge, nothing more. Is it any wonder why the demand for alimony reform is coming from second wives? Those second wives discovered that their own incomes are also at risk by a vindictive first wives.
When kids are involved, the potential drop in the ex-husbands assets and income is too good an opportunity to pass up. Combine that with almost no custody enforcement and ex-wives have the ultimate form of revenge – the ex-husband has no money to attract a new woman and he can’t even see his own kids. He gets to enjoy his drab two bedroom apartment and empty bank account all by himself.
Please note that I am acknowledging amicable divorces where this scenario doesn’t play out. Not all divorces are like that (“NADALT”?). Such revenge tactics by ex-wives are far more visible than two former spouses who successfully manage to make the dissolution of marriage work. But the opportunity for ex-wife revenge is a structural weakness in the divorce process. “For the children” becomes a handy excuse for exceptionally bad ex-wife behavior. Woman-as-perpetual-victim plays into this quite conveniently, as well.
“He only cares about his money” is a common refrain when ex-wives discuss such issues. Of course he does, cupcake. You only cared about his money when you were about to embark on a voyage on the cruise ship Hypergamy 1. There have been some moves toward alimony reform, 2nd wives and all. There will likely be no moves toward child support reform because a few, vindictive ex-wives will always play the “for the children card” with the willing cooperation of White Knight politicians.
Getting married and having children is such a huge risk for men that it’s mind-boggling that men want to go this route. Of course, there is the option of taking the Red Pill and managing the marriage successfully. Sadly, too many potential husbands see the Red Pill as poison and too many women are enjoying the privilege of the blue pill, gyno-centric cultural landscape.
It’s a lazy, rainy, viciously humid day here in South Florida. I’ve noticed the Manosphere is heating up, too. There are some excellent new blogs appearing (I’ll post on those another time) and general page views are increasing. Perhaps Red Pill wisdom is being absorbed by more netizens and the word is spreading at an accelerated rate.
I am soliciting opinions and observations from my readers about the state of dating and relationships. I’ve got lots of steady readers and I am quite sure that there are some excellent words to appear in the comments.
So, using the comment feature, I ask the question to you, my readers…
What’s on your mind?
It can be a random thought. It can be a pithy essay. Hell, it could even be Munson (and where the hell is he?!).
Speak up, my readers. Post some links. Lay on some righteous hate if’n ya want. I’m a light touch on comment moderation so you can exploit that.
While you’re writing up some cool comments, I’ll be enjoying the company of a fine woman.
This image has made the rounds in the Manosphere already. But its simple and direct message is so strong that it needs to be displayed again. So many relationships could be saved if women realized that maintaining physical attractiveness – even through something as simple as dressing in a feminine manner – is extremely important to a man. Some women do understand. The artist who penned this simple cartoon is a woman. She was likely kicked out of the Strong Independent Woman® club for her heresy.
OK, so I didn’t write 1000 words. Sue me.
Living in South Florida means being around lots and lots of retirees. Thankfully, most of them don’t drive during rush hour. If they did, I’d be dead. Motorcycles and older drivers are a poor fit. Instead, there’s a loud bell at 10AM and the gates of all the local retirement communities open and a vast armada of Buicks slowly rolls out, at trolling speed. At 4PM, another bell rings and the Buicks return. As I am firmly middle-aged, my senior years are most definitely on the horizon. I can’t wait.
Being a senior citizen grants certain privileges. My young colleague pointed this out today. He spent the weekend with his parents who have recently moved to a retirement community. “Old people do weird shit” was his observation. This is exactly why I’m looking forward to being an codger. Why do old people do weird shit?
Because they can, dammit.
Here’s a partial list of things I intend to do when the excuse of old age allows me:
- Grab my crotch and give the finger to random neighbors
- Wave my cane around menacingly
- Criticize everyone and everything
- Refuse to clean up after my dog (my dog will be old and crotchety, too)
- Open stuff at the grocery store for a quick snack and put it back on the shelf
- Tell stories about me that didn’t actually happen
- Pants up to my navel
- Socks and sandals
- Tell wildly inappropriate jokes (racist and sexist, both)
- Loud flatulence in public
- Mutter, mutter, mutter…
- Buick, slowly, no lane discipline
- Quote Rush Limbaugh
- Pay in coins when there are at least six people in line behind me
- Slow jaywalking as a hobby
- “Damned kids these days!”
- Old man smell (does that come in a bottle? I sure hope so!)
- Attend town council meetings, rail about taxes and refuse to shut up
- Block pedestrians on sidewalks with a slow and unsteady gait
- Loudly demand senior discounts at convenience stores
- Hearing aid buzz (“What? WHAT?! Speak up, dammit!”)
- F-bomb becomes F-machine gun
- Vote often and selfishly (“We don’t need no fucking bond issue for those fucking crappy schools, anyway!”)
- Pretend to be confused by technology and obnoxiously pester younger people to help
- Incredibly graphic descriptions of disgusting health problems
- Scourge of the local senior center
- Dentures, hand puppet, hilarity
Y’all get the idea, I’m sure. Feel free to add more.
While talking Red Pill wisdom with a younger colleague (single guy), he expressed curiosity about the concept of outcome independence. He was going to a music event over the weekend and was looking for some motivation because he was fully intending to socially interact with girls during the concert. He was skeptical about outcome independence as he knew full well that a man’s DNA wants him to be outcome dependent.
I acknowledged the dilemma he would face. I imagined him talking to some hot girl and all during the conversation his DNA would be screaming “do something, say something to get this girl to have sex with you!” I told him this one piece of simple advice:
“Find her flaw.”
This guy is 26 years old. His biological imperative regarding procreation is strong. Translated – he’s fucking horny. Fortunately, he’s a smart guy and absorbs Red Pill wisdom like a sponge. He considered that advice for a moment. “I’ll do that.”
Even the hottest girl has a flaw. It could be an ugly regional accent. It could be that she laughs like a braying donkey. It could be that her nose is slightly off-center. For a man to attain any kind of outcome independence, he must find that flaw and silently focus on it during the course of the social interaction.
This is a very difficult lesson for guys just starting to work on their Charisma. Too many younger men were taught to put girls on the pedestal and ignore their flaws. Finding a woman’s flaw(s) takes strength and incredible resolve. The more physically attractive the girl, the more a man must work to find – and then focus on – the the flaw. If she’s also pleasant and friendly, then it becomes a truly herculean effort.
This advice might seem negative. It’s not. This is Dating 2.0 where a man needs every skill and tactic in order for him to achieve his relationship goals. Removing outcome dependence is one of the most important tactics.