Archive for May, 2012

For Guys Seeking Single Women 28-35 Years Old…

It’s not easy, I know this.

Most women this age are married or in committed relationships. It’s a demographic reality that there simply aren’t that many available single women in this age range. As for the available single women, they’re still single for a reason or they’re freshly divorced and likely with young kids. In large metropolitan areas, there will be better options but not nearly as many as the pre-married or post-divorce age demographic.

Given the dearth of 28-35 age demographic, having solid Charisma is even more vital. It’s also important that a man know his relationship goals. If it’s merely for the sexual variety of dating many women, then any attractive single woman of that age is appropriate, just beware the batshit crazy types and the women in the throes of baby rabies. This is where having a vasectomy can come in quite handy.

If a man is seeking a committed relationship, things get very difficult very quickly with this age group. There will be very few women of good character and who aren’t fat. It will be a tough row to hoe requiring patience and a hugely thick skin. Online dating is certainly a good approach, but it will take lots of time and lots dates to figure out just whom is worth it. It will also require a consistent system (link below).

There is an alternative – go younger, 22-28. It goes without saying that men prefer youth and beauty. It’s wired into our DNA. But some guys might be a bit reluctant to be looking to date a woman more than 10 years younger. This will generally require meeting women in real life because women doing the online dating thing generally avoid men more than five years older than themselves. Stay out of nightclubs because being the “old guy in the club” is tantamount to “creepy, stalkerish guy”. Also, the type of women (girls, really) who habit night clubs are not long term relationship candidates.

Here’s a big tip for a place to meet women: Find the lunchtime spots where the nascent career dames congregate to eat the noonday meal. The potential challenge is that women tend to congregate in groups when eating lunch. A group of youngish women presents a formidable wall. Bring a wingman, a married colleague is perfect. The advantage of lunch time is that casual conversations are easier to start. Also, the lines to get into restaurants, while often short, are perfect to start up conservations, “Have you guys eaten here before?”

Oh, buy Day Bang. Roosh knows his stuff. KrauserPUA is also outstanding at daytime approaches (links to both, below)

Local happy hours right after work are also perfect. Neighborhoods with large office buildings will usually have a number of bars/restaurants that cater to the office crowd. People are happy to be off work and single women don’t usually have to rush home. Also, a woman not obsessed with her career will be more likely to leave at the appointed hour and not be chained to her desk until late.

Going younger is perfectly natural and it’s surprising how many young women will be willing to date a man more than 10 years older. Of course, this mostly means approaching them in real life.

Online Dating – A Short Primer

Day Bang

Krauser

30 Comments

Reader Mailbag – Same Woman On Different Online Dating Websites

A reader presents some interesting scenarios regarding women who use more than one online dating website. His comments are in quotes. My response follows each quote.

Curious if you have encountered these scenarios in your online dating experience, and regardless of whether you have or not, what your thoughts are on how a guy should handle them.

1. The not-so-interesting scenario – the same girl uses (or at least, have profiles that are visible on) multiple online dating sites at the same time. For example, the girl may have a profile on OkCupid and one on Match.com. It’s most likely that she uses one dating site and the profile there as the primary, and the profiles on the other sites are secondary or are left idle, and often times the profile info are copied-and-pasted across each other when possible.

Seems that for this scenario, it’s just a matter of cross-checking the profiles for inconsistencies, and basically using the different profiles of the same girl to build a more complete picture of her, and then communicating with the girl at the site that shes uses as the primary site. Do you agree?

I certainly agree. I advise that men use at least two different online dating websites, one free and one paid. It stands to reason that women would do that same thing. This has been my experience regarding seeing the same woman on different online dating websites. I read both (or more) of her profiles to get a better sense of who she is. OKCupid asks that its members  answer a whole bunch questions. PoF asks little of its members. Match, well, I am sour on Match (link below).

2. The more interesting scenario –  guy finds a girl on dating site A and get at least a conversation going with her (i.e., she didn’t ignore or reject your initial approach), and perhaps progress to meeting her in person, but things didn’t work out for whatever reason. Guy and girl does not stay in touch within or without site A. Some time later the guy is on dating site B and he somehow encounters the same girl.

No matter, the connection was never secured – regardless of the online dating website – so it matters little if the girl shows up on another dating website. If possible, block and move on. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. We win in the long run.

3. Variant of this scenario – things didn’t work out with the girl on site A. Her profile on site A goes idle (as in she doesn’t log in to site A at all, doesn’t check messages at site A, etc.) and/or hidden for some time. Guy and girl does not stay in touch within or without site A.  Some time later, she is active on site A again and reappears in the guy’s searches on site A.

For these scenarios, should the guy just completely ignore the girl when the girl “reappears” on the guy’s radar? What if the girl initiates communication with the guy after her “reappearance”?

Thanks.

What is the consistent theme regardless of the venue, online or in real life? No connection. It matters little the digital vehicle of communications. What matters is the connection. Rejected on one online dating website by a particular woman? You’re rejected on any other online dating website where you find the same woman. If not, that means she’s completely confused about the men she’s getting attention from and isn’t organized enough to do online dating properly.

Match.com Hates Happy Relationships

4 Comments

Reader Mailbag – Soft Harem Conundrum

A reader writes:

I’ve never been happier as a man since acquiring the “soft harem” of three gals (I leave one slot for bench substitutions/one nighters) from which I am getting regular sex and entertainment.  Am I going to become spoiled and destroyed such that I will never commit 100% to a single woman again.  I was faithful to my wife of fourteen years.  I fear that I won’t ever be satisfied with a single gal to grow old with.

Ah, the benefits of Red Pill wisdom and Charisma. To have such a problem, oy vey. Let this be a lesson to any scoffers out there.

This reader is in his 40s and asks a very legitimate question for guys of a certain age. While I’m older than the reader, I’ve not hit my “silver years” so I can’t answer the question based on personal experience. I’ll have to speculate in order to provide an answer. As this reader gets older – and I’m talking a couple of decades down the road – he will eventually find himself spending more and more time with just one woman. My step-father went this route a few years after my mother died but he did it more quickly (link below).

While bodies age, and libidos cool, the need for the warm embrace of feminine companionship should never wane. Men have the privilege of time and our reader should use that time to allow just one woman to be the one who holds his hand as he shuffles off that mortal coil. Fortunately, he’s got quite a few years of soft harem management ahead of him. There is one caveat to this. The reader lives in a community that I know quite well having lived there for several years. In fact, my first ex-wife still lives there. It’s not a big city so he runs the risk of his harem girls crossing paths with each other.

Red Pill, gentlemen… it’s all about the Red Pill.

My Step-Father’s Wall Calendar

71 Comments

Creating Clever And Charismatic Conversation

[Yeah, the headline ain’t so clever, sue me.]

Good conversation doesn’t come naturally to many men. Shyness and fear are the two obvious barriers to good conversation. To help overcome that, I always recommend the website Succeed Socially (link below). The other barrier is knowing what to say and when to say it. This is not easy. Social interaction isn’t always like a soap opera. There are some things to keep in mind when talking to people – women, in particular – socially.

Be outcome independent. This is a core competency of Charisma and the foundation of good social interactions with women. No matter what the level of attraction to the woman you are speaking with, an agenda shouldn’t be percolating in your mind. If your conversational skills are only average, that agenda can absolutely ruin the interaction. Worse, you’ll come across as creepy. The agenda can kill comfort.

Ask questions. The standard Charisma advice is that a confident man makes statements and doesn’t ask questions. The exception to this advice is when a man is simply having a social conversation with a woman who hasn’t yet revealed any attraction to him. The questions should be about environmental things: “Have you heard about that new restaurant that just opened?” Don’t ask personal questions to someone you just met! Shallow questions are good for establishing comfort because they are non-threatening.

Listen well. Take an honest interest in what the woman is saying. You may not like what you are hearing but such is life. Try to remember what she is saying, even if it’s trite and silly. If you want to want to shift the subject matter (I hate celebrity gossip, too), here are a couple of phrases to use just before you change the subject: “That’s not my style” or “I’m not into that”.

Use eye contact. Look her in the eyes once at least once and awhile. This doesn’t mean trying to hypnotize her or looking at her eyes long enough for her to break away her own eye contact. This means honestly acknowledging her presence means that you take her words seriously, even if she’s prattling on about something inconsequential.

Pay attention to body language. Everyone shows their mood and emotional state during a conversation with their body language. This is where a good book comes in (link below). Always be aware of body language, yours included.

Reveal little. The downside to confidence is self-absorption. It’s manifested during social interactions when a guy only talks about himself. If a woman is totally smitten with him, that’s OK. But let’s not forget the woman’s unspoken rule about intimacy (link below), before she’s intimate with a man, she’s looking for reasons to reject him. That means that every personal detail that a man reveals about himself is another potential reason for rejection. The corollary to this is not to monopolize the conversation.

If you can, use humor and wit. This doesn’t mean become the accidental entertainer (link below) and trying to keep her laughing all the time. It means tossing out a funny comeback or remark occasionally. There is a warning here – humor is subjective. What you might perceive as funny might come across as creepy or offensive to others. By listening carefully, you should be able to gauge her sense of humor. For those who are humor impaired and need examples of how a funny conversation should flow, watch TV sit-coms, seriously. Pay attention to timing and delivery. It can be successfully emulated.

Links:

Succeed Socially

The Accidental Entertainer

Body Language Book

A Woman’s Unspoken Rule On Intimacy

10 Comments

Off Topic – Let’s Talk Tech…

Deep in my soul beats the heart of a Luddite (link below). Because of this, I am not an early adopter of tech gadgets. When I take my annual motorcycle trip up to the mountains, I use an analog GPS. It’s called a paper map. When I do actually purchase technology – say, a laptop computer – it’s usually a bargain basement model that gets the job done but with little in the way of gadgetry frills. This means I get software leftovers. Windows ME and Vista? Yup, run ‘em both for years. I’m still running Vista.

As for cell phones, I used stupid models long after the iPhone came out. Android? Pah-lease. And what’s with these damned tablets? I pretty much ignored cell phone and mobile device technology. I only started texting seriously about two years ago. I talk briefly and text often. I can count on one hand the number of photos I’ve actually taken with my various cell phones.

There’s a serious irony at work here. My profession is in technology. I work with serious tech dorks and I have done this for decades. I even worked with the pioneers of agile programming. But that’s my job, not how I live my life in terms of tech at a firm known for some seriously cutting edge software. They were all arrogant nerds…”I can code Java, I can do anything”, that sort of thing. I hate nerds.

My existing stupid phone was over two years old and it was getting difficult. It shut off by itself at bad times and some of those wee buttons weren’t working as planned. It was time for an upgrade. While I’m not a huge fan of AT & T, it’s what I have and it’s what I’m sticking with. I was snooping around AT & T’s website for a potential upgrade, I found something for 10 bucks that I couldn’t pass up – Samsung Galaxy SII Skyrocket, refurbished.

A few days later the phone showed up at my place of work. I did the SIM card shuffle at the local AT & T store and got the thing activated. Wow. Welcome to the 21st century. This thing is quite amazing. As I’m not qualified to do a review because of my Luddite status, there will be no review. There are better reviews (link below).

I’ve done some interesting research into the future of mobile devices because of my newly-found knowledge of my own personal smart phone. Here are some obvious (to you) predictions:

1. There will be two categories of tech users: Content creators and content consumers.

2. There will be two categories of tech devices: Content input and content display.

3. For content consumers, the desktop and laptop computers are dead, the mobile device will replace them.

4. For creators of basic content (mostly text), a mobile device will soon suffice because the mobile device OS can (or will) support keyboard and mouse input displayed on a full-sized monitor.

5. All our data will belong to the cloud – causing major security and privacy issues.

6. The executives at Microsoft will be quietly submitting resumes to Apple and Google.

I do not mention video games because such things do not hold much relevance for me, Angry Birds not withstanding. I also don’t mention specialized content creation such as professional-quality videos and the like. That’s highly specialized content-creation and most often beyond the range of mere bloggers, like me.

I find it astonishing that mobile devices have so much processing horsepower. Quad-core processors are soon to be introduced (Samsung Galaxy S III) and the latest version of the Andriod OS is trickling out to upgrade existing mobile devices as appropriate. And what does all this mean relative to the Manosphere? Mobile Pinterest. Seriously.

Luddites

Samsung Galaxy SII Skyrocket Review

 

11 Comments

500K Page Views & Blog Recommendations

I must recognize milestones. February was this blog’s one year anniversary (link below). As of today, I will hit 500K total page views with almost 300 blog posts. As I don’t have access to sophisticated traffic statistics, it’s difficult to determine just who is reading my blog. But looking at from where my traffic originates, the consistency of the commenters, and the off-blog emails, it’s clear that my readers fall into several categories:

Loyal readers who read most of my posts but seldom comment (comment more, dammit!)

Loyal readers who comment frequently (thanks, you folks are swell)

Drive-by readers who probably get butthurt (awwww, did I offend your blue pill sensibilities?)

The most rewarding part of the blog is the off-blog emails I get from readers, male and female alike. Actually, only a few of those letters end up as blog posts because of requests for anonymity. It’s extremely rewarding to give Red Pill advice and receive praise. Sharing such Red Pill wisdom seems to me an almost subversive act because of the utter media saturation of shitty, blue pill “wisdom”.

I exhort my readers to always be sharing Red Pill wisdom, even if it’s not immediately accepted or even rejected. Given the overall Manosphere traffic, it’s clear that Red Pill ideas are being embraced and shared. The mainstream media only occasionally covers Manosphere and Red Pill issues so all this communication is off the public’s radar, for now.

On a somewhat related note: I caught Krauser’s interview on London Real (link below) and then spent some time on his two blogs. They are both highly recommended and I will add them to my blog roll:

Krauser’s PUA Adventure

Count Cervantes

Other Post Links:

Krauser’s Interview

Happy Blog Birthday To Me

17 Comments

New Manosphere Word!

Hear ye! Hear ye!

An uncommon word has surfaced in the Manosphere (link below) and it must be spread widely. The word is:

Uxorious

Definition:

Excessively fond of or submissive to a wife

This is a spectacular word in its laser beam focus on something that happens to too many married men who lack Charisma. This is a word for Athol Kay (link below).

So, I challenge all Manosphere bloggers to use this word at least once in your coming posts.

You’re welcome.

Merriam Webster Definition

The Society of Phineas

Athol Kay

14 Comments

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,512 other followers