I’ve been corresponding with Moxie over at andthatswhyyouresingle.com. Moxie and I are in the same rough age bracket and harbor quite a few similar Red Pill philosophies regarding dating and relationships.
Moxie is not the train wreck.
The train wreck is over in the UK in the form of The Plankton, a middle-aged, divorced woman who finds herself at the bottom of the sexual food chain and she really wants a man in her life. Dalrock first mentioned The Plankton some months ago and I’ve been sporadically checking on her. I told Moxie about The Plankton’s blog.
Moxie had the perfect response: “Is that a joke blog?”
That blog is not a joke at all. It’s a brutally honest blog from the point of view of a woman who has some understanding of her value in the sexual market place. She and her blog got some coverage in a UK newspaper and as I recall, she’s not unattractive for a middle-aged woman. But she’s certainly middle age and cannot compete with younger women for the alpha man who she craves.
I think all my readers should check out her blog and read as many posts as they can. The Plankton will end up here and might discover the Manosphere. Her head will explode with Red Pill knowledge. Of course, I’ll invite her over here to South Florida because, well, why not? I spent a winter in England once. It’s grim and bereft of romantic feelings.
The tone of The Plankton’s blog alternates between god-awful rough to only mildly abrasive. She writes like a man. It’s off-putting and makes it quite easy to understand why she’s SFAR (Single For A Reason). She’s not quite come to terms with her hypocrisy. She really, really wants a man but can’t quite adjust her attitude to have respect for any man. She suffers from the illness of contemporary social expectations: “All men are bastards”. She is also clueless regarding the concept that the feminine attracts the masculine.
For the Plankton, I have my standard “look for the good in men” recommendation. But as her heart has been well-hardened, I doubt it’s going to work.
deti
/ December 28, 2011PM:
This is a good post. I read a smattering of her blog. Her writing is quite good and vividly describes her plight. A cautionary tale to be sure.
I really don’t want to express schadenfreude, but I found a passage from one of her recent entries that might help explain where she is. I found this in less than 5 minutes of browsing through her site. Pay attention lads, because Plankton unwittingly explains why we former blue pill men had so little fortune with women in our past lives.
Read it and weep — if you need any further confirmation.
” Or you get the occasional nice enough one who is really keen on you (once in a blue fucking moon) and you try your best to think yourself with him and you say to yourself, he’d be a kind enough fellow to go to the movies with and have pasta, interesting and mild. And you will yourself to think thoughts of sex with him because he is there and, as I say, kind and interesting and good enough, but the thought of getting naked with him would be like picking up a spider, or letting a snake slither round your neck or having a juddering pigeon flapping its windy wings right by your ear. And you don’t know why this is, and it feels so unfair because he’s so nice and because he’s so there, but you just can’t get yourself to relish the very concept of his bare skin and bits coming into contact with and indeed searching their way across and into yours.”
Interesting. Mild. Kind. Good enough.
Plankton is as hard up as a divorcee can get. But she won’t willingly give it up for a nice guy.
Nice guys finish last. Even with hard up divorced British women.
P Ray
/ December 28, 2011The problem is that the widespread, female-touted idea of “nice guys end up with the girl”, is that it is an unfinished sentence.
“Nice guys end up with the girl when she can no longer be with the kind of guys she wants but can’t keep up with, and are required to pay relationship compensation for all her previous relationships, while unknowingly getting less than complete attention from her, since he was never her first choice”,
is WAY more accurate.
deti
/ December 28, 2011I almost forgot. She ended that post I quoted from with this:
“This is the reality. No men to speak of. No men. No men.
No men.”
You see that? She writes of kind, good, interesting men, but she doesn’t want them. They repulse her. She likens them to spiders and snakes and disease-ridden pigeons. They are invisible to her. She writes of encountering good men and then says “no men”.
Take note: A kind, good, interesting blue pill man is not a man in the eyes of a woman.
PM’s right. Plankton (and, of course, PM’s blog) should be read by every man in the English-speaking world.
theprivateman
/ December 28, 2011Ms Plankton is indeed a warning for both men and women. She is a warning to men who are still under the delusion of blue pill medicine. Gentlemen, do not be nice, do not be yourself (if you are unsuccessful with women). The warning for women is just as clear. Ladies, your value in the relationship marketplace goes down with age. If you don’t learn to see the good in men and to respect men, you too will become plankton.
I wonder if anyone has bothered to ask Ms Plankton, “So cupcake, what do you offer a man in the context and dating and relationships?”
tvmunson
/ December 28, 2011PM
Yours is the only site that will accept me. I got booted off susan’s for being too extreme; branded a mangina at Dalrock.
Great Sodini's Ghost
/ December 31, 2011I asked her what she offered a man. One of her obriters went ballistic.
http://planktonlife.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/whyfore-plankton-whyfore-wives/#comments
theprivateman
/ December 31, 2011Jeebus man, you picked one helluva name for your comments.
Great Sodini's Ghost
/ December 31, 2011Why should Marcotte have all the fun?
Legion
/ January 4, 2012Munson, can’t figure why you got branded as a mangina either. But if you find yourself dealing with pinheads, just blow them off. That’s why I don’t comment and hardly read the-spearhead anymore.
johnnymilfquest
/ December 28, 2011Maybe she needs to realise what she’s after just isn’t out there for her?
I’ll check out her blog. Maybe a do little light-hearted trolling.
theprivateman
/ December 28, 2011She wants fried ice, just like every woman.
I am sure she ruthlessly moderates her comments. However, give it a go.
The Plankton
/ December 29, 2011Dear Private Man, I promise I never moderate the comments. Only once or twice since July have I had to trash one when it has been too ranting, mad, or vile-y offensive. What’s really interesting to me is that you seem to have more trolls per square inch than I have had in months. I have received more nastiness via your blog in less than 24 hours than in all the time I have been blogging. It’s a curious thing. Luckily, I have enough loyal readers who are generously sticking up for me, fighting my corner, which is very pleasing. Anyway, thank you for recommending me to your readers all the same. Much appreciated.
Best wishes, Px
theprivateman
/ December 29, 2011Well, you did refer to unattractive men in some rather unflattering terms. In effect, you gave the nuclear rejection that so many men recognize from their late teens and early 20s when young women didn’t just reject a fellow, they did it with a pointed insult and huge dose of humiliation.
As well, my readers are actually quite equality and fairness minded regarding the gender expectations. You insulted them, they replied accordingly. Fair and equal, no? You don’t expect special treatment because you’re a woman, right?
Ian Ironwood
/ December 29, 2011Yes, TPM, thank you for the referral. Her blog is a gem of female entitlement and wholesale rejection of men, in aggregate, and an exercise in group self-pity. Pretty much everything I need to illustrate some of my points. Thanks again.
James
/ January 15, 2012Plankton does indeed moderate the comments. My take on her blog is that it is carefully crafted to win a book deal with a publisher. Here is a comment that I posted on http://planktonlife.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/you-have-to-love-yourself/ but which was not approved:
Keep on writing like this, and you will not find a man, but you will certainly get a book deal! Sales will be very good among lonely and bitter divorcees, a large and growing demographic.
Your posts ignore the helpful comments left by others on your earlier posts: notably that it is not as easy for men as you imagine, and there are still plenty of good men out there. You carefully find reasons to exclude most of the available men. I won’t bother adding to the gentle advice and suggestions left by others, because I know you will pay no attention.
I am calling bullshit on this entire blog.
45 is young! 45 is hot! When you are 65, you will not think 45 is the bottom of the sexual food chain. You will look at pictures of yourself at 45 and think how attractive you were.
Your own view of yourself – “the shit on a man’s shoe”, “slack cunt on botched legs” is so vicious that, unless you have invented it purely for literary effect, you need to seek professional help. If you have invented it, then good luck with the book sales, but it is a pity that you have chosen to feed other people’s bitterness in order to promote your own wealth and celebrity.
theprivateman
/ January 15, 2012Excellent observation about a future book. That had not occurred to me. Dalrock needs to see your comment. I’ll remind him.
ATWYSBlog (@ATWYSBlog)
/ December 28, 2011The reason i thought it was a joke was that it seemed almost brutally honest to me. You have to give her credit. She is self-aware. The problem with these particular women, and I’m referring to bloggers here, is that they actually impede their growth by putting this stuff out there to the interwebs. They will naturally attract women just like them or ones even more messed up, and then all of those women will then validate every negative thought and distorted self-perception. Thereby keeping the blogger in a suspended state of delusion. Making matters worse is that they attract the beta orbiters who tell them how hot/funny/brave they are, further distorting their perception of themselves. Then, when they go off line, they’re thrown by what little actual attention they get. Which then makes them angry. Which then cements they’re warped opinions of men.
The worst thing a woman can ever say to a female friend is…”You can do better.” Because, while that might be true, the woman hearing that advice applies that to every man she meets.
johnnymilfquest
/ December 28, 2011Yes, she’s bound to get people who will kiss her arse.
She’ll also get people calling her out.
Will she listen to them?
*sigh*
Yeah, you’re probably right.
a girl
/ December 28, 2011Gosh, the striking thing about her blog is all the complaining. Yes, it is one thing to get something off your chest, but to go on and on…wow.
She is indeed self aware. And honest. More honest than ‘Plutogirl’ for example.
But you are right, she does not seem to have respect for men. That may be due to her previous experience(s) who knows? Shame she has let her experiences harden her (hey, I know it is hard NOT to do that).
If you are correct that she is physically attractive, she could easily attract even an alpha with a good dose of femininity, I believe.
P Ray
/ December 28, 2011A woman with an alpha, who gets around to saying “All men are bastards”, should be able to have an easy time to accept his cheating … after all, if the kind of guy she wants has options and can leave (and she only wanted him because other women wanted him) … well, she can enjoy being lonely together with him.
As long as she doesn’t try to play “let’s you and him fight” by fooling a nice guy with the idea of “My boyfriend is mistreating me!”, I see no reason why she should not own her decisions.
White Rabbit
/ March 31, 2012Plutogirl is very honest. She’s happy with her life and shows that yes, it’s possible to be happy without being in a relationship. She’s not hardened or bitter and never complains that all men are assholes. So why the all the hate?
NMH
/ December 28, 2011*reads “Plankton” for 41 seconds*
Huh. Another presumably college-educated, divorced woman who hit the wall before she got the alpha that could only make her haaaapy.
Result: one bitter blogging bitch-hag.
In the words of the Stone Temple Pilots: “Down you go! Suffer long…”
The Plankton
/ December 28, 2011Hello, it’s the original train wreck from across the pond here! That’s a new one on me, but thrilling. Not college-educated, but definitely divorced, and with a face not exactly resembling a pine-cone just yet, I promise. Thanks for the kind invitation to Florida, Private Man. I promise my real persona is rather more English and sweet than my blog one, and I don’t say fuck as much in real life, well not quite. Very best wishes, Plankton
deti
/ December 28, 2011Plankton:
I admire your pluck, coming here to respond. You can divulge as much or as little of your personal life as you want. I view your blog as a tale of woe which every woman, single and married, should read. I think women can learn from your life.
You have no man in your life because you are cruel, and your standards are in the stratosphere. Anonymously — yet in a public forum — you refer to kind, good men as spiders, snakes and disease-ridden pigeons. You can barely conceal your repulsion at having sex with a nice, good man. The truth you refuse to speak is that these good men are not hot, good looking and studly enough for you, and so you turn up your nose and sneer at the good men who express interest in you. This is cruelty of the worst sort.
Perhaps at one time you could pull these hot, good looking men. You no longer can, and it was only AFTER your divorce that you realized the awful truth.
I’ve seen it so many times it’s almost cliched. Woman has good life with nice “boring” beta husband. Gets a divorce for whatever reason. Reenters dating market, thinking the world is her oyster and thinking she’ll pull whatever man she wants for whatever she wants. The truth is a very different story. She discovers her dating market value is nowhere near what it used to be. Alphas and greater betas are out of the question. Now it’s the nice guys for the few and far between dates, or classic betas trying out game for the first time and cutting their teeth on her.
Take a good look, ladies. If you continue riding the carousel or divorce your boring hubby, beware.
Ms. Plankton is your future.
tvmunson
/ December 29, 2011deti
As a 60 year old man, I can say your observations are “spot on” as the limey putzes say (probably some that plankton lusts after). Have seen it several times, but the classic was “Barb”. 50ish, married to a physician who loved her, 3 kids. But her husband was somewhat withdrawn, and she was one of these inner strivers. They divorced 8 years ago. He was more than generous, agreed to terms no judge would ever impose (I’m an attorney-not his or hers. He remarried 6 years ago; the woman is lovely, sweet, and looks like she could be his daughter.Barb has yet to go on a date; she moved to Oregon, now is in Beirut. She expressed surprise at the lack of eligible men she’s encountered i e physicians or like professionals who wanted to get involved with a now 60 year old woman who’d had 3 children and was something of a pain in the ass.
MORAL: Divorce boring husband, end up in Beirut with a camel dick dildo to warm your bed.
NMH
/ December 29, 2011Munsons story about Barb is good, but the divorced man got a better deal because he is a doctor with high status. If the man is not high status, when divorced he will have few options like the presumably hit-the-wall ex wife. Unless a man is high status, divorce hurts both the man and woman.
Anon
/ December 28, 2011So, after post after post describing men who she has turned away because “she just doesn’t fancy” them, while pining away for the one or two unattainable alphas she knows, she has the audacity to write this:
“I don’t care what anyone says, but this is what plankton are up against. Men with out of control fantasies for whom real women are such a disappointing blow that they actively hate us. ”
So, when some guy with lots of options rejects her, he has “out of control fantasies”, but when she rejects men who are “nice, decent” but she doesn’t fancy, it’s totally understanable because they are “SFAR”. So, who’s the plankton? Her or them?
And, out of curiousity, how did her marriage end? Did she “no longer fancy” her husband?
Ian Ironwood
/ December 28, 2011That’s the feeling I got. Total double standard. It’s an exercise in extended self-pity, without any willingness for her to take responsibility for her own actions and false expectations. Hell, she even uses the term “Happily Ever After”!
Doesn’t she realize that while to women marriage is a romance novel, to men it’s a porn movie? If we have false expectations of them then their expectations of us are no less based on crap. “Out of control fantasies” . . . like having sex more or less when you want it, as opposed to working and begging for it.
And her treatment of the men in her life, particularly her ex husband, speaks VOLUMES. There’s a reason she’s single: she loves Love, Romance and Marriage but . . . she hates Men.
Sucks to be her.
The Plankton
/ December 28, 2011Funny I hate men so, when I have so many, many male friends. Not sure how that adds up? And numerous ex-lovers who remain good friends? And please do tell me how I treated my ex-husband? I have never once mentioned how or why my marriage came apart in my blog, which I have been writing daily since 2 July, and I don’t intend to start now. But, goodness, perhaps you have inferred such thick volumes which have never been there? What a clever troll you are indeed. I’m impressed. Only, how bad can that treatment you speak of have been, in the light of the fact we have just spent a lovely, modern family Christmas together, this ex-husband of mine, whom I treated so badly, and I? Best wishes, Plankton
Ian Ironwood
/ December 28, 2011And yet you divorced him. Or he, you. Hard to tell when you don’t provide details. But I’m sure there’s a story there.
But your word choice and your syntax reveal an awful lot about you even if wish to remain mysterious. Your bitterness seems to come off you in waves. Your expectations are high and unreasonable, you dismiss with contempt the men in your life even as you admit that they’re the only ones who will have you. And you wonder why you’re single . . .
If you have so many male friends, how come none of them measure up to your high, high standards enough for you to date them? Too boring? Not studly enough? Not enough brass? Or are they all gay? And if they knew what you said about men in general on your blog, what do you think would happen of their opinion of you?
The truth is you were told to wait on rebounding and such because these wonderful friends of yours were sabotaging you. You fell prey to one of the oldest feminine tricks in the book: reduce competition. And now you’re suffering for it. And whose fault is that?
The Plankton
/ December 28, 2011Because those male friends are married? 99.9% of them are of my generation. Seems a good enough reason to me for us not to be dating each other. If they were single, it’d be a different story. They are all lovely, but I am not in the business of stealing other women’s husbands, un-edgy of me though that may be.
Anon
/ December 28, 2011I can’t speak for Ian, but I don’t think you hate men. I think those sorts of terms are thrown around too much. Usually it’s men on the receiving end (he’s a complete women hating mysogynist, etc.). But it’s often used against women too.
I do, however, think that you are attracted to precious few of them, and those few coincidentally end up being men to whom many many women are attracted, so you lose the numbers game. In other words, you don’t seem to be attracted to your equals in the sexual market place and then, frustrated that you don’t get what you want, you claim “men” (i.e., the unattainable alphas to whom your attracted) don’t like “real life women.” In reality, it’s you who are rejecting the real life men. Sometimes expressly, if they approach or pursue you, but more often through body language and other cues that tell them not to bother.
Ian Ironwood
/ December 29, 2011Right on, sister!
While she might not hate men, she sure as hell has very little interest in trying to honestly understand them. She merely wants one of her own. An attempt to understand them might actually shake her preconceived world view about what men want. If you think the Red Pill is hard for men to swallow, when a woman tries it can be . . . revolutionary. Not many women are ready to challenge their basic notions that way. Pity.
a girl
/ December 28, 2011Anon,
You are right…
However…
Not being attracted to many men is a (yes, I admit, a self-sabotaging) trait in women. It is in the same league as hypergamy, I guess. Most men are attracted to many women, but a woman is truly attracted to only a few men in her lifetime, in many cases just one. Which is why when women are promiscuous, it goes against the grain, so to speak, and their female nature is threatened at a deep, spiritual level.
So, one cannot blame Plankton for not liking the men she is surrounded by, even if they were single.
The perception of having little respect for men, IN GENERAL, such as using phrases like ‘all men are bastards’, etc is the type of behaviour she should correct even if she did NOT want a man in her life. (Even just writing it online counts because it reflects her underlying thoughts). If she does want a man as much as I think she does, it is ESSENTIAL to get rid of this mindset. As I said in my earlier comment on this thread, it can de done quite easily.
The Plankton
/ December 29, 2011Thank you for your observation about women not fancying endless men. I am glad you agree. But I must add that at no point in my blog have I ever said that “all men are bastards”. Best wishes, Plankton
just visiting
/ December 28, 2011Sounds pretty much like most women I know, which is perhaps the most depressing thing. I expected a really bitter blog, I found what I normally hear from the women around me. Which probably explains why I’ve withdrawn from most of them. You can tune it out when you’re married, but it’s poison when you’re single. A conscious effort has to be clear in one’s mind (and heart) not to allow the disappointments in life to harden you. Plenty of men out there. If you’re older and have kids, work the margins. Don’t let rejection make you bitter to men on the whole. Where are all the men? Everywhere.
tvmunson
/ December 28, 2011AN OPEN LETTER TO MS. PLANKTON
from Capt. Ahab
My nom de plume comes from the fact that I have been married for 30 years, together for 33. Moby Dick in our scenario is the “relationship bugaboo”; just as I am still attached in mine, you are not. You are the plankton Dick eats or, rather, from your remarks and apparent distress, ignores.Plus you search for Dick. not the other way around. We thus set the stage, imperfectly admittedly, for my phillipic to you.
I will come right to it: unless you intend to indulge your sexual urges with a dildo the size of a street lamp powered by a locomotive battery, whilst you wait for the occasional mercy fuck which will become increasingy rarer as the amount of Viagra necessary to sustain an erection in your presence will exceed by half the amount ANY man’s heart can sustain, you must begin a thorough and exhaustive attitude adjustment. Now. Unless yor blog is an exercise in venting such that you then become capable of actually engaging a man in terms diametrically opposed to the ones your suggest in your writings, you have lost before you begin. You will never find love with a man. Note, I did NOT say you will NOT find a man to love you; the vagaries of human existence are such that the possibility is there, and I recognize it. No, the profound disarticulation of the heart and soul your writing evinces convinces me that should that man appear, the one who can see past your ascerbic, brittle demeanor, a demeanor that only one who feels things very deeply can present to the world, even through the anonymity of a blog past, even off-handedly, it is you who will reject him.
You cannot see what you do not look at. You cannot find what you do not look for. Yeah, it sounds like a fortune cookie. Make a joke of it on your blog. Keep asking yourself “how can I love a man” instead of “how can I love this man”.
There was a placard I used to see at divorced women’s work stations. It read “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”. It cracked me up because in most ways it is men who can live without women. This becomes truer as we age. I am suggesting an adjustment that will make you warm and receptive, like the South Florida Private Man describes. Or you can remain as where you reside, “grim and bereft of romantic feelings”.
Your choice.
With affection
Capt. Ahab Ceely H.M.N.
theprivateman
/ December 28, 2011You’ll always have a place on my blog, Munson.
tvmunson
/ December 28, 2011PM
I was posting under a different name over there. Susan just told me to go back to Munson. technical question: how do you know where your posters are coming from? I’m using a labtop, and sometimes my neighbor’s internet is the one I’m on. Can Susan ban me? how? Not that it matters; I’ll never go off like that over there. I’ll save it for here and the people who get me.
The Plankton
/ December 29, 2011Captain, What a charming fellow you sound. So courteous and dignified. Your wife is a lucky woman.
Plankton
Ian Ironwood
/ December 29, 2011Finally. Maybe she’s starting to recognize the truth.
tvmunson
/ December 30, 2011Ian (no reply feature appears)
I cannot tell if she is being facetious or not.No matter. If she does not heed my advice, her loss.
tvmunson
/ December 30, 2011Ms. Plank (I like that better; still somewhat nuatical, it suggests a pirate mien, such as in “walking the..,”)
If you are not being facetious and indeed have responded authentically to my post then yes, I am confirmed in my suspicions. You cannot be entirely, in fact even remotely, where you claim to be with respect to men. No one who could describe a reference to “a dildo the the size of a street lamp powered by a locomotive battery” and my cruel Viagra riff as “courteous and dignified” and not retain the sense of humor, irony, detachment, and bonhomie that precludes the sour, sardonic worldview you present in the writings I sampled. Impossible. Your secret is safe here my dear. Unfortunately, I was so smug in rendering my seemingly condign remarks that I overlooked one unassailable, horrible fact: WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BRITISH MEN (the latter being a contradiction in terms)!!! Pink-faced, dour, tutu-wearing umbrella-up-the-ass goddam-limey-putzes ever-single-mother’s-son-one-of-’em! I am informed that upon the sinking of the Titanic a young British bride, who had escaped but observed her husband go down with the ship, was informed by one of the matrons in the lifeboat: “There, there dear-they’ll be plenty of British men for you once you get back to London”. Hearing that, she jumped over the side.
I have nothing useful for you. Were I a British female, and limited to British men, I would shoot myself forthwith (actually a rather American response; lacking the pageantry of public life you Brits enjoy we Yanks overdramatize the particulars of our private ones) or wear a chastity belt that would look like the tow chain for the Queen Mary complete with a Venus-fly-trap-like extendable mandible which would instantly emasculate should anything “larger tha a pencil, smaller than a loaf of bread” come within a mile and a half of me. I’m afraid neither allusion is particularly helpful in the premises.
BTW my wife does not consider herself lucky, nor am I described, by even my (very few) close friends, as “charming”; I am universally considered the opposite. It is what Private Man likes about me (he’s a rare sort). Before we go out to our (dwindling number of) friends I am subjected to the following (after the obligatory “Are you wearing that shirt?”-women!):
“Do not discuss politics, current affairs,anything. Do not make any of your ‘amusing’ observations. I want to get through one meal (we made it through 2 this season) without you saying something that makes everyone choke (she means not in a good way). So help me you embarass me again I’ll break my butter knife off in your asshole!” (it takes Susan a while to get vulgar, but once there she knows where the china hutch is; she’s being rhetorical obviously-if she actually got physical people would gossip about it all year.)
theprivateman
/ December 28, 2011I don’t think Ms Plankton hates men as actively as some suggest here. Ms Plankton is just angry at life and the unfairness that a man’s relationship marketplace value can increase with age and that a woman’s simply cannot do the same.
Age is the great leveler in the conflict ‘twixt the sexes. Too many women discover this far too late. Most sulk quietly and surreptitiously retreat into a passionless and affectionless twilight with other female friends, pets, and miscellaneous and time-consuming activities. A few, like Ms. Plankton, vent their anger and frustration more publicly, much to the entertainment of comprehending men.
Other female bloggers should carry the torch of Ms Plankton’s cautionary tale, the Manosphere already knows her truths to be self-evident.
P Ray
/ December 29, 2011Isn’t she angry at the fact that she gave up on good men or that they had to waste time with her?
For all the women who like to say that “I was never asked out when younger”, I call BS.
What they mean to say is “I was never asked out by a guy I wanted to be seen in public with by others”.
Ian Ironwood
/ December 29, 2011Don’t forget, among women you get points for REJECTING men, not ACCEPTING them. At some point a young woman has to ask herself which is more important, the opinions of her “friends” (and competitors) or the opinions of the men she says she wants. The resulting choice is telling in a woman’s character.
barrytwymanarry and the Band
/ December 31, 2011Ahhh, the land without irony ……it’s true!
Alex
/ December 31, 2011Don’t want to continue beating a dead horse, but this passage really underlines the SMP message to women who want to have a man:
[Sometimes I look at myself and find myself adorable and, honestly, quite fuckable (as they say), but maybe I’m biased. I’ll put on lingerie that has never been worn for a man and I find it hard to believe that it may NEVER be seen by one. And then sometimes I see a lovely woman, younger, girlish, “innocent”, fun loving, carefree, and I understand the preference. Like many plankton who have lived on their own, I have no need for a man, just an intense desire. I am self-sufficient, confident and I can see how some men may not see much appeal in a woman that can take care of almost everything. We all want to feel needed and appreciated.
So, in my case, it looks like I am a plankton of my own device (devise?). But I never, ever thought I would have a problem finding a boyfriend or being attracted to men. Call it shortsightedness or feeling immortal in my younger days, I am now paying the price. What I do regret is taking a 10-year sabatical from relationships when I was still in my thirties. It didn’t start out that way, but when I wasn’t meeting any men (due to circumstances at work and play) after a couple of years, I gave up and just remained single for 10 years. Now I see how I always took my ability to attract men for granted.
I may have to accept being single forever. I’m not ready to give up yet, as long as I still feel attractive (to myself if not to men). I’ll have fun with my friends in the meantime, but it’s not enough.]
As men age their SMP rises, and as women age their SMP is lowered. Having a career and thinking you’ll get that great guy in your 30-40s is pretty much a fantasy.
ATWYSBlog (@ATWYSBlog)
/ January 1, 2012Like many plankton who have lived on their own, I have no need for a man, just an intense desire.
And herein lies the real issue. An intense desire for something is a need. Women of her (and my) generation were raised to believe that “needing” a man made us weak. So we found different ways to express this need without sounding like we were surrendering. We’ve been programmed by our friends and peers to never admit that we might need a man to be happy. As if it was a bad thing to want someone with whom you could share your life. Any time I read a blog, the women are almost always shaming their married or coupled up female friends. The friend is always depicted as someone who had no identity of her own without a man. And then the blogger says..
“I feel bad for her. I really do. I just think that’s so sad.”
Pity. Shame. Guilt. It’s classic projection.
JT
/ January 1, 2012Alex, I felt sad for this very honest woman. But there is something about her that is not mentioned in your comment. She states that she had 7 boyfriends in her younger days. She left THEM because she did not want marriage/family. It appears she still does not. So as long as she is still attractive to a man, which she believes she is, she can still find one. Luckily for her there isn’t the pressure of having children…unless she has changed her mind about that.
alex
/ January 2, 2012JT
[So as long as she is still attractive to a man, which she believes she is, she can still find one. ]
I understand what you’re saying. By her standards she’s still attractive. By men’s standards? And not just physically, but personality-wise? As PM has pointed out, “The feminine attracts the masculine.”
Many women who reach late 30s or 40s and have been career women have developed a mindset and can be “unpleasant” to be with.
JT
/ January 2, 2012Alex,
and the single ones among them are genuinely nice people who will either get married (if they want to) or will be genuinely happily single and great to be around.
“Many women who reach late 30s or 40s and have been career women have developed a mindset and can be “unpleasant” to be with”.
Totally agree. Sometimes she may not even need to be a career woman. It is surprising (to me) how widespread misandry is. The problem may be that women tend to go around in packs and ideas easily spread. I am not exactly a loner, but let’s just say I have always been ‘independent’. I wish more women would adopt this attitude. The only downside to this is that, a woman can only learn to be a woman from other women. Solution: choose your ‘pack’ carefully. I am doing this now. There are many wonderful examples of good women out there. Surprise, surprise, most are happily married
theprivateman
/ January 2, 2012I posted on this subject last year:
http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2011/03/06/her-toxic-female-friends/
Anonymous age 69
/ January 1, 2012The problem as I posted on Plankton is for 45 years men have been excluded from any debate on major social issues which in the end affect men, and in a negative way. Divorce; property settlements; false rape charges; child support; domestic violence (primarily female initiated); well, you men know the whole picture.
But, since to say one word in disagreement meant loss of job, etc., men haven’t said much. And,as both UK and US women have become more and more insane, they had no idea what men have really thought of them.
So, when men who are not far from main stream masculinity today, give them just a hint what they look like to men, once again they dismiss it as the babblings of mentally ill men. There must be something wrong with men; we women are really quite fuckable, aren’t we?
blogster
/ January 1, 2012And now shes fantasizing about doing an EPL…
http://planktonlife.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/adventure/
RS
/ January 1, 2012Are you the same blogster whose ill informed comments were posted without bothering to get your facts straight? awesome dude!
Anonymous age 69
/ January 1, 2012RS. if you meant me, no. I always have my facts straight. Heh, heh.
Doug1
/ January 1, 2012Plankton–
Look for divorced men ten years older than yourself, and be nice to them.
Alex
/ January 2, 2012PM
You keep up with posts like this you’ll soon reach the epic Roissy- or SW-comments length post!
theprivateman
/ January 2, 2012I seem to attract a bunch of wordy folks.
Of course, it helps that I’m a wordy SOB, myself.
tvmunson
/ January 3, 2012Wordy? Moi?! Perish the thought.
NMH
/ January 2, 2012More than being bitter…its a real sob story as well:
http://planktonlife.wordpress.com/2011/12/23/plankton-goes-into-business-not/#comments
*SOB*