There’s a bit of backstory here. Back in July, I met Vivian while I was out walking my dog on a fine Saturday night here in the village. That whole story is here. It’s worth the read to better understand today’s blog post.
Well, after Googling Vivian’s number, I discovered something very interesting about her. That story is here and also worth a read because of those very interesting details and some additional events.
Last night, I was out and about with my dog and on return, I discovered a business card on my motorcycle. I grabbed it and went inside to find this (scanned and her real name redacted):
It’s Vivian. Hi, I’d love to talk to you. Please call me. I hope you are well. Have a good weekend. (There was a light rain last night so that’s the reason for the water stains.)
It’s been four months since I’ve communicated with this woman.
Naturally, I check her website to see if she is still in the same business. Perhaps her note on her business card was just some of her marketing efforts. Her website is not up, I’m automatically redirected to Weather.com. Hmmmm, interesting. At least the card would make for a good blog post.
This morning I take my dog, Lucy, for a quick walk to empty her of waste materials. Stuck in the door jamb of my door is another business card with handwriting on the back. Again, it’s Vivian. She came right to my door early and very quietly put her business car in my door. If she had made any kind of noise Lucy would have instantly started barking.
Hi: It’s Vivian. I would love to talk to you. Please call me. [can't read the following] Thanks. Have a good weekend.
Double hmmmmm. She obviously nuked my number in her cell phone and that’s why she didn’t call. But she knows where I live, for better and worse. Of course, I’ll have to call her. But maybe later today or tomorrow.
Stay tuned.
Afternoon update (2:30PM, today)
I texted her something innocuous earlier today and she called me about 10 minutes later. We chatted briefly. Here is what I learned:
- She specifically came to the village last night to look for me. Obviously, she didn’t find me, but did remember where I lived.
- She left two cards at the same time. I just missed the second card when I came through the door last night.
- She’s not seeing that guy anymore. Hmmmm, this makes me leftovers? She did inquire about my relationship status.
- She’s still in the massage business. The city where she lives nailed her on code violations because her business got too popular. Oh my.
- I didn’t let on that I knew exactly the nature of her massage business.
- As she didn’t solicit me for business (yet, perhaps), I can assume she wants to date me.
- We’re getting together next week after work. Stay tuned.
Week later update
She vanished. I sent her a single text today: “?”.
No response.
November 21 update
About a day after that text, I received a text from her saying that she found a boyfriend. Hey, life happens. I texted back “Life is interesting.” I moved on.
Yesterday evening, I received this text from her:
“Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I am free again”
There was some texting back and forth and then she called me.
The plot thickens.
We have a date tonight… she wants to “heal” me… oh my.
P Ray
/ November 6, 2011Having had a lot of experience with people having horrible penmanship, it’s no bother for me to decipher that writing:
The bad writing is: “I hope you are well. Look forward to talking to you”
HTH
and hope you manage to find and post more awful profiles and their analyses. They are EXTREMELY funny!
theprivateman
/ November 6, 2011Thanks for deciphering.
As for the awful online dating profiles, Ian Underwood is doing the best with those but other readers are finding some great ones, too.
Ian Ironwood
/ November 8, 2011It’s Ironwood, not Underwood. It’s my porn name.
But thanks for the praise!
Alpha
/ November 6, 2011I would call her and ask her to stop stalking you. Cause its freaky.
Michael
/ November 6, 2011And if you do decide to bang her, make sure she’s not pregnant by the other guy. Get too involved and you might end up on the financial hook.
theprivateman
/ November 6, 2011http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html
Read that story.
Small secret… I wrote that. Seriously.
Bronan the Barbarian!
/ November 8, 2011Private Man – I absolutely love that “Best Of” posting. Made me want to high five you when I found out you wrote that.
Dave
/ November 6, 2011same thing happened to me via facebook.This girl gave me the whole “cool guy but….” a couple months back.Part of me thinks it’s just because I was given a bit of DHV since it was my birthday recently and I had a shit load of girls posting on my wall.
Michael
/ November 6, 2011Yeah, happens a lot. They go out there, looking for betas, lose respect for them, can’t find any real men, so they get real and look you up. The sex is usually better the second time around because they understand their place in the world a little better.
NMH
/ November 6, 2011Take her back to your apartment, hog tie her and strap a ball gag to her mouth, and takes some pics and post them here. She can be fully clothed or in lingerie. We’re counting on you!
NMH
/ November 6, 2011Oops. I thought this was the S an M blog I frequent. Sorry PM. *click*
theprivateman
/ November 6, 2011You fetishists! Get off my damned lawn!
just visiting
/ November 6, 2011Never a dull moment. Do you think that you’ll bring up the nature of her business?
theprivateman
/ November 6, 2011It will be an interesting cat and mouse game. I need to find out why she is no longer seeing that guy. If it’s because of the nature of her business, she will be extremely cagey about revealing all the details regarding what she does. If they broke up for another reason, she’ll probably just tell me the truth about what she does and see how I respond.
I have an additional complication… Surfer Woman.
just visiting
/ November 6, 2011lol, you’re going to end up with a harem. I suspect surfer woman would have an issue with competition.
I think that your long lost lady friend will probably play things cagey. I think it would be difficult to explain the nature of her business, and harder still to find someone who didn’t feel uncomfortable with it.
Arch
/ November 6, 2011Looks like a great opportunity to pick up some hand writing analysis skills. Her hand writing set off my Spidey-Sense.
Have you considered the possibility that the other guy was some kind of pimp?
Bellita
/ November 6, 2011I had the same reaction to the handwriting! It made me want to send a link to a friend of mine who once trained at the National Institute for Graphology.
just visiting
/ November 6, 2011It’s not just the handwriting, but going to his house, leaving a scrawled note, two cards……..
I was a bit flippant in my last comment because a little levity seemed preferable to the elephant in the room. Something’s off.
The Lurker
/ November 7, 2011She genuinely digs the PM and broke off with her boyfriend and/or pimp. She’s had some legal problems and is looking to leave the life and settle down or temporarily leach off of the PM, “who has it all together.” That’s my three cents.
Gorbachev
/ November 7, 2011Look, you have a stellar opportunity here. I had a few but I cheaped out and never followed up. The moment I sniff crazy, I’m gone. Not even the dust left. I don’t care if it’s baby rabies or the endless griping about the losers who surround her or the bastard who tooled her and then left. The moment the endless crazy starts, I’m gone.
This chick is going to be super cagey. Test her. Don’t let on you know what she does. See how far you can string her. Carry it for a while. Feign interest. Use rock-hard, ueber-game. Don’t return phone calls, then out of the blue return one; chat, be friendly, then nothing.
Make out with her for a while, then before you have sex, make up some excuse and leave, say you’ll meet up with her X day, then right before you meet up with her, bail. Politely with a call.
This will utterly discombobulate her. But keep her dangling. This is the key.
See what she says about her job, Innocently ask questions, comiserate with her about how shitty customers are, share a story. be decent but busy and direct and slightly assholey.
She’ll be so fucked up about it she may decide to come clean in the hopes you’ll turn out to be undisturbed by her job.
NEVER MENTION THAT YOU KNOW.
It’s a multi-week project.
Then, if you do bang her, do it hard and methodically and make sure you blow her mind. Then when all’s said and done, do it again the same day: Then leave.
Don’t say you’ll call. Tell her to call you.
be the decent guy that’s alpha enough and cool. It will make her more crazy.
Then disappear.
Make up some story about how you just can’t have a relationship because of X or Y problem , but she’s so cool.
Keep her emotionally or mentally dangling. Like a cat on a string.
See how a girl like this reacts. I predict:
Wistful and dreamy, with a dose of romeo-juliet crazy in a general atmosphere of cynicism about men. Serious messed-up-ness.
I predict two things:
- You can make her a regular sex buddy right off, on your own terms, easily discardable. She’ll go to stupid lengths to make you happy. You will subtly dictate all terms.
You can avoid even the barest hint of something approaching acknowledgment, let alone commitment. Again, gold.
And the crazies? You’re just too busy. If she does go crazy, suddenly discover the nature of her work and then shame the shit out of her: She’ll vanish. If you find out before, decide then.
I predict the sex will be stellar and on your own terms. This is a game experiment worth every minute.
theprivateman
/ November 7, 2011This could be quite the entertaining project.
Gmac
/ November 7, 2011Sounds incredibly needy. If it were me (ha), pump and dump. But most people aren’t me.
Gmac
/ November 7, 2011She could be crazy, be warned.
theprivateman
/ November 7, 2011I fully expect a healthy dose of batshit crazy. I’m prepared for it.
I’ve already started a draft post to document a hopefully ongoing saga.
wingman
/ November 7, 2011Any chick that just shows up is problematic. Who knows if she really lost your digits, or if it’s just her own version of game. “if I’m right there in front of him, he won’t be able to resist…” I’m with GMAC – watch out for crazy. Where you live should be a refuge – now you got nowhere to hide.
theprivateman
/ November 7, 2011The dilemma of my logistics is that the village is so close and it’s great to walk the dog there. It’s a trade-off that I am willing to accept. Besides, I have plenty of allies in the village to back me up.
Yeah, she’s playing girl game. I know this.
I’m using Charisma right back at her:
Here’s my opening salvo of text:
Me: So have you maintained your coolness since July?
Her: Even more cool, and you? (fast response)
Me: I am now cool as ten men, up from eight. (not so fast response)
Her: Wow (not so fast response)
Me: Exactly. (four hours later)
Ian Ironwood
/ November 8, 2011I would try the above, only after a few weeks I’d use a burner phone and make an appointment at her place of work under an assumed name. Then walk in and bust her, shake your head sadly, and go home. See what happens then. I’m guessing it would be highly entertaining.
Bronan the Barbarian!
/ November 8, 2011Looks like a drunken epileptic third grader tried to write those notes. That woman has some seriously shitty handwriting.
just visiting
/ November 8, 2011Yep, and since she wasn’t born during the internet keyboarding generation, that spells trouble. Back in the old days, girls ridiculed other girls for sloppy handwriiting. Drunken or medicated.
Dannyfrom504
/ November 8, 2011I’d stay waaaaaay away from this woman. You bang this woman and or string her along, you’re going to go outside to find your bike destroyed.
Just saying. I’ll IM you later hermano.
theprivateman
/ November 8, 2011She’s already showing signs of being a flake or a girl gamer. I called her earlier today – as I said I would do – and she hasn’t returned the call…. makes me wonder.
Dannyfrom504
/ November 8, 2011Punch out Maverick.
theprivateman
/ November 9, 2011Out, punched.
The Lurker
/ November 9, 2011Ditto to Dannyfrom504, she knows where you live. And more importantly, she knows where your bike lives! However, you might want to friendzone her. She might enlarge you social circle to other SLENDER women and/or women in her line of work. Could be interesting …
Thomas V. Munson
/ November 9, 2011Alarm! Erotic massage therapist? C’mon. You’re too smart for this.
theprivateman
/ November 9, 2011Yeah, but consider the epic posts I could write!
Don’t worry, she’s already flaking out.
I left a voice mail message yesterday afternoon and she hasn’t returned the call. I’m not holding my breathe.
Phoenix
/ November 19, 2011If a girl is hooked into you, you can get away with telling her that you’ll call her later, and follow through with your words.
But other women, such as flakey asses = you gotta fuck with them.
Call them up unexpectedly, and lure them to come out that night. Spontaneous shit. And total luck if she wants a slice of penis.
Or be a dick and say you’ll call them later, which would turn out to be next week.
I personally punish women for their flakeyness. A girl I tried to land wouldn’t reply back to me when I wanted to go out for drinks. Low and behold, she invites me to her Halloween party because she’s always interested to see the crazy costume I made.
I told her I’d be there late. She texted me at 12am, wondering where I was.
I didn’t reply. Fight fire with fire.
Alpha
/ November 21, 2011This feels very off… I’d be very careful of this one….