Archive for November, 2011
There are some men with Charisma who are seeking more than just a series brief trysts and assignations with the opposite sex. I fall somewhat into that category. Part of having Charisma is a man’s willingness to manage expectations early if there is the strong possibility of a rather more serious relationship. Blue pill men are just happy to have the attention of a woman, any woman it seems, so they go way too much with the flow and let the woman set the relationship parameters.
Red Pill men know differently. A Red Pill man knows that by framing the relationship on his terms, the woman should be acting in her natural, non-leadership relationship position. The key is the timing and not being a total asshole doing it. As well, set only one expectation per date. If a woman hears a laundry list of your expectations, the date is going to end quickly and badly. As you escalate through your dates, you’re managing your expectations of her at the same time.
Here some easy expectations to set during the dating process. This, of course, assumes that there will be another date.
1st Date – “I’m pretty busy and usually reserve one weekend night for my friends.” You’re not going to get pinned down early. This should be re-inforced as the dating process continues.
2nd Date – “I love the feminine form and clothes that show it off.” This is self explanatory. If she shows up in a sexy outfit for the next date, compliment her, once.
3rd Date – “It’s funny, I’ve never really liked talking on the phone.” You get the idea.
4th Date – “I like having my place to myself sometimes.”
5th Date – “Lingerie looks so sexy on a woman” (even if she’s not wearing anything like that)
By the sixth or seventh date, it can very well be too late to manage her expectations. While it might be obvious to state, it’s important that you know what your expectations of her actually are. Once established, be consistent, too. Such consistency is a hallmark of masculinity and something that she expects from you.
I started the Woman Up meme with the intention that women look at men differently. When I read comments at Manosphere blogs/websites, I sometimes find gold. This is from Hooking Up Smart. While Susan’s blog isn’t always considered part of the Manosphere, her post’s comments clearly show Manosphere tendencies.
All women should read this from here:
It’s kind of surprising to me to hear that lots of men don’t feel desired or haven’t felt desired by the women in their lives during the past or present. I think that’s a shame. Obviously, those women need to step up their game.
I think the best way a woman can convey desire for a man before they have sex is by being sensual, not sexual. Being sexual revs up the engines for both people too much and too quickly. Being sensual, however, starts a pleasant slow burn that can’t be easily put out. Here are some ways, tried and tested by yours truly, that women can convey desire before having sex with a potential guy.
1. Emit seductive eye contact. Eyes are the windows to the soul indeed. Look at a guy like he is the tastiest morsel on the planet. This type of eye contact should be hot enough to heat both the man and woman up. It heightens the anticipation and I’ve caused men to stop mid stride with this type of eye contact.
2. Hand feed him something. I’ve found this works well. Take a small piece of food, preferably fruit or candy, and feed it to him, allowing your fingers to linger against his mouth. Let him feed you to, all the while giving him the eye contact described above.
3. Be honest about what parts of his body you find attractive. Don’t be afraid to tell him “You have a great butt” or “You sure do know how to wear that shirt”. Let him know that you find him physically desirable. One of my favorite things to do with my ex (sorry to keep bringing him up) was compliment him on how he smelled. A simple “You smell fantastic/delicious” was enough to get him going.
4. As it has already been stated, don’t be afraid to engage in light touching. Hold his hand, playfully slap his shoulder/leg, touch his shoulder, anything. Just touch him.
This shouldn’t be groundbreaking stuff yet sadly, it is.
Never mind friends and family for now. These are the things I’m thankful for from a Manosphere point of view:
- Evolutionary Psychology – This was a serious worldview shift for me and I’m thankful that this concept is being shared widely.
- WordPress – Despite some minor glitches here and there, this is an excellent way to blog for free.
- Anonymity – No comment
- The Eternal Wisdom of Men – Such wisdom should never be lost and has been instrumental in transforming my life. I am eager to share that wisdom to other men.
- Femininity – In short supply and therefore quite special when found. It’s worthy of gratitude.
- Blogs and Forums – Without a venue for which to easily share information, men would be criminally ignorant.
- The Usual Suspects – You know who you are and I am seriously grateful for the opportunity to connect with you. The evil patriarchy brings serious entertainment and information. Thanks!
- Online Dating – Without this, my blog would not have been started. Online dating continues to amuse me.
- My Ugly Dog – Entertainment abounds! I give thanks to Lucy and thanks to that ex-girlfriend who entrusted me to Lucy’s care.
- The Village – It’s an awesome place and so convenient.
- Young Male Colleagues – Many are receptive to Red Pill wisdom. I find that very encouraging.
- The Manosphere – A sometimes a wild and woolly place yet it’s quite comfortable for me.
- Logic and Reason – Once divorced from the tyranny of emotional reactions, knowing how to use logic and reason is immensely liberating.
- Twitter – I resisted for a long time. Silly me. Hilarity always ensues.
- Texting – That, too, I resisted for a long time. Showing Charisma with texting is a blast!
I’m sure my readers can come up with some other cool Manosphere things to be thankful for.
Off to some turkey I go!
This is my shortest blog post to date.
It’s a bit disappointing that my post about the confidence sub-routine hasn’t gotten more attention. You men looking to learn Charisma should read it. Read it again. When you’re done, answer the following question:
What are you are really good at?
If you don’t have a clear and brief answer, you’re not ready to learn Charisma with women. Please go away until you have mastered an activity that gives you pride and a true sense of accomplishment.
That activity must be something that you are truly passionate about and have nothing directly to do with attracting women or impressing anyone else but yourself.
I created a fake profile on Plenty of Fish. The persona is “Marcus”, a 53 year old doctor who is 6’2″ tall. He’s divorced, his kids are grown up, he has a dog, and he’s looking for a long term relationship. I found a very good photo of an attractive middle-aged guy.
The full profile can be found here.
For the profile text, I put in this:
The biggest challenge is for women to re-adjust their approach to men. Women usually look for reasons to reject a man. They find the bad things first. This results in a lot of frustrated single women. To start the readjustment, I have this very simple mental exercise:
Every time you see and/or interact with a man, look for something good about him. This includes online dating profiles.
It can be something small.
It can be something big.
It has to be something.
Perhaps you see a sweaty landscaper with stained clothes working hard at his job. What’s good about him? He’s working hard. That’s a very good thing.
Maybe you have a male colleague who is not the most attractive of physical specimens. But you notice that he has a very nice voice and speaks very thoughtfully. Those are two good things.
You meet a man socially who has a very weak chin and terrible fashion sense. Yet you see that he has beautiful eyes, broad shoulders, and a great sense of humor. Wow, three good things!
You see an online dating profile with bad photos. The words, however, are well put together and are quite appealing. Good things, indeed.
This doesn’t mean changing your standards regarding the men you date. It only means noticing the positive elements in men. That’s the exercise. Simple, no?
Do this for a week. After the week passes, ask yourself this question: “Where are all the good men?”
Guess what, you just spent a week seeing them with your own eyes.
Does that sound familiar? It’s from one of my recent blog posts.
Within 15 minutes of creating that profile, it’s received three messages. Wow.
Update (a couple of hours later):
The profile is getting lots of traffic. Many women don’t even bother to read the profile, they just look at the ONE photo and send messages, favorite the profile, initiate chat, “meet me”, etc. I just want them to read the words. I might have to kill the profile.
Update, Day 2
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. The profile has gotten dozens of views and messages. The vast majority of women have “Hi” as their subject line when sending a message. I suspect that fewer than 20% actually read the profile. Quite a few women are those who I messaged with my real profile and who then gave the real me the “read, deleted” treatment.
The profile now has 47 incoming messages. Amazing.
Update Day 2, evening…
The profile is getting more traffic… up to 60 incoming messages, maybe more. And many women want to chat with me.
Update Day 3, morning…
Marcus is a real hit with the ladies. Some of the incoming emails clearly show that many of these women are not reading the profile. One woman even accused me of being bitter. I guess my advice hit close to home with her and so she lashed out. Oh well.
In the weirdest twist, Nebraska lady (she friend-zoned me) messaged the fake profile with a long description of her actual dates with me, the real life Private Man, and how I screwed up.
Update Day 3, evening
150 incoming communications and counting. I haven’t bothered to read all the messages because they are all basically the same. I also realized that I put $150K+ (annually) for an income level. This changes the auto-match algorithms that PoF uses, hence the the matches I have not seen with my real profile.
Every now and again, an old post gets an hilarious comment. These two (scroll down or click here and here) popped up yesterday despite the original post being months old. The girl who posted them (same author) is a walking cliché right down to admitting being an entitlement princess.
The comments have it all (in no particular order):
- Rationalization hamster frenzy
- Empowered and fulfilling singlehood
- Political correctness
- Shaming language
- Never settling
- Attention whoring
- Logical fallacies out the wazoo
It’s like these comments were generated by a software program. Enter the politically correct and feminist-oriented memes, set the language and personality parameters, click the Create button, and out comes a fresh comment for posting on a blog like mine.
How do these people find me?
Read and be amused:
Neither my youth nor my beauty are gone; in fact, they’re better than they ever were, and I was born in the mid-1960s. Not a single wrinkle on my face, and the way I’m avoiding the sun, there aren’t likely to be any anytime soon.You are promoting a load of crap because you want to be the one with the power. What you don’t get is that power has nothing to do with gender. It comes from within. A powerful person is someone whose happiness and sense of meaning are not dependent on another person or being in a relationship. And not everything is about biology and fertility. As a free spirit, I don’t want kids. I love being the kids, and I have no intention of changing that.
And what’s with all this “waiting for death” nonsense? I’m working on careers in acting and writing; I’ve recently started pursuing astronomy as a serious interest, and I’ve got more exciting irons in the fire creatively than I can count. So yes, I am and am proud to be, an entitlement princess. I deserve a prince. I don’t need to settle. I can happily be single for life and never run out of joyous things to do. That means I can say no to plenty of guys who want to put me down and tell me I need to settle, that my beauty is fading, etc. The result is the “leverage” they think they have isn’t there.
Your whole “big flip” fiction is that you want women to be needy, to be so desperate for a relationship they’ll fawn all over you. What you can’t stand is that for many of us, a relationship might be cool, but our lives are no less full without one. I have every advantage in this world, and I look to my future as a six-year-old would, with every possible door and opportunity open to me. And why shouldn’t I, when lifespans on both sides of my family routinely go well into the 90s?
“At our age???” You are obsessed with age, plain and simple.
To some of us, age literally means nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada.
I’m single because I want to be, because I love it. I don’t particularly want a partner. If a guy is going to even have a chance with me, the burden is on him to show why I need him at all. And if he plays the age card, well, that’s why God invented doors.
As an astronomer, I would rather spend my nights with a telescope seeking to discover a new planet than with some desperate guy.
All that beer is a turn off too. You should really consider going to AA.
Fish. Barrel. Gun. I’ve bold faced the fun bits.
To the commenter, Plutogirl:
You’re in the Manosphere now. It’s a place where men share truths about gender behavior and ignore the political correctness. We’ve pulled back the curtain to see the social pathologies that girls like you are encouraging. We simply laugh, hoist our beer, and sing a jolly tune to honor spinsterhood and the sad decline of our society.
And given all your clichés, we’ve switched to champagne and we’re all pretty drunk. You’re an astronomer? Good for you. Go make us a sammich.