Archive for October, 2011
I receive a lot of email marketing from businesses that sell dating systems to men. I get the most from these folks:
You can click on the links just be warned that you will enter some serious online selling. They all want your email address to get any of the materials. As with all email-based marketing, you can expect to get lots of emails until you unsubscribe.
While I haven’t purchased any of these systems, it’s quite easy to see the very common approach. It’s also quite easy to see the huge and common weakness. As an aside, I have never seen similar dating systems marketed to women. From what I can see, women tend to go for dating coaches.
The dating system marketers are actively seeking beta men as potential customers. The nice guys (and NiceGuys™) who are logical and rational and want to find tactics in order to approach and be attractive to women. The dating systems are sold almost like computer programs. If the man does X, the result with the girl/woman is Y. It’s easy to see the appeal.
The problem with marketing such systems is the heavy focus on seduction and promises of quick and consistent efficacy. “Do this right now and you’ll be having sex with hot women almost immediately!” I’m paraphrasing, of course. This is what comes across when I read all those marketing emails. It troubles me greatly.
Teaching Charisma as a business endeavor is problematic. The potential buyer wants fast results with a computer programming-like system. As well, the dating system sellers want to yield the maximum profit. This arrangement presents a huge risk for potential failure. There just isn’t enough focus on the confidence sub-routine, the personality programming that provides a man’s confidence output.
True Charisma can’t be achieved without the confidence sub-routine properly installed. Indeed, dating system programming too easily fails without the confidence sub-routine installed and running properly. Installing the confidence sub-routine is the difficult and challenging part. Confidence simply cannot be taught. It comes from deep inside the overall system.
The most important element in all this is that the confidence sub-routine must first operate independently of any Charisma or dating system programming. To their credit, the dating system sellers sometimes deal with this issue. Yet no system or dating scripts is going to take the time to help with the often lengthy process of creating (or improving) the confidence sub-routine.
There is a meme running around the MRA Manosphere that the confidence sub-routine is the only programming required for a guy to be successful with women. There’s a reason I call it a sub-routine, because it resides under the Charisma or dating systems programming. A man might have a robust confidence sub-routine but without certain skills relating to Charisma or dating systems, his dealings with women will simply fail. Confidence without social skills goes nowhere with the girlies. The confidence sub-routine is not programmed to create the appropriate social skills. This is why “be yourself” is such crappy advice.
I found this on Jest.
It’s a video showing a Russian guy feeling the boobs of 1,000 women. It’s work safe and not at all sexy. But there are lots of very attractive Russian girls. The fun starts after the introduction showing Putin.
I like Russians.
That guy has some serious Charisma to get away with that.
A fair number of women read my blog and for this, I am pleased. Normally, I write my posts with a male audience in mind. This post is an exception. I want women to read this very carefully and pass it along to their single friends. It’s important.
The biggest challenge is for women to re-adjust their approach to men. Women usually look for reasons to reject a man. They find the bad things first. This results in a lot of frustrated single women. To start the readjustment, I have this very simple mental exercise:
Every time you see and/or interact with a man, look for something good about him. This includes online dating profiles.
It can be something small.
It can be something big.
It has to be something.
Perhaps you see a sweaty landscaper with stained clothes working hard at his job. What’s good about him? He’s working hard. That’s a very good thing.
Maybe you have a male colleague who is not the most attractive of physical specimens. But you notice that he has a very nice voice and speaks very thoughtfully. Those are two good things.
You meet a man socially who has a very weak chin and terrible fashion sense. Yet you see that he has beautiful eyes, broad shoulders, and a great sense of humor. Wow, three good things!
You see an online dating profile with bad photos. The words, however, are well put together and are quite appealing. Good things, indeed.
This doesn’t mean changing your standards regarding the men you date. It only means noticing the positive elements in men. That’s the exercise. Simple, no?
Do this for a week. After the week passes, ask yourself this question: “Where are all the good men?”
Guess what, you just spent a week seeing them with your own eyes.
Feel free to copy and paste this into emails, blogs, forums, whatever.