Fulfilling A Woman’s Hypergamy

Danny asked an important question regarding a woman’s hypergamy and what it’s based on. In particular, will a woman pass up a rich beta for an alpha of lower income or wealth.

The short answer is yes.

The longer answer is also yes but with some important considerations.

If a woman is in the throes of baby rabies, the temptation to settle for a beta provider is huge. This is where evolutionary psychology and contemporary social expectations differ. Hunter-gatherer providers were mostly all alphas. After all, those alphas brought home the protein and slew the saber-tooth tiger.

It’s only after humanity embraced agriculture and industrialization did the concept of the beta provider come to fore. Caring for children – especially just after birth – requires the ability to provide for both woman and child. The steady, reliable man who kept a solid farm or worked hard in the factory was the best option for a woman looking to spawn.

In fact, so good was the beta provider that an entire matrix of social expectations was built to steer young women towards that type of man. Family, community, the culture at large made it very clear that the often economically unstable – but vagina tingle-causing – alpha was not an appropriate father. Those social expectations continued on until women were liberated from following the social expectations. “Find a good, solid man” became “never settle”.

With women liberated (and not in a good way) to think only with their genitals, a perverse situation has emerged. The beta provider might be great for supporting the kids with financial resources, it’s the alpha male who is great for supporting the vagina with sexual pleasure. Today’s woman will actively be seeking both types of men, sometimes concurrently. Start your hamsters, ladies! Paternity fraud being the consequences where no hilarity ensues.

As we live in a modern society, a good spear arm is no longer the only requirement of alpha characteristics. This is great for guys today because not every guy has that good spear arm. Red pill men know that the hypergamous instinct can be used in a guy’s favor.

  • More money – This is the classic and if the guy has alpha characteristics and is willing to commit to a woman, it’s the zenith of a woman’s relationship attainment.
  • More good looks and/or physical strength – This actually means having more than most of the other guys. This also includes height to a certain extent. This harkens back to the classic hunter-gatherer alpha, the guy with the good spear arm.
  • More intelligence – This one is a bit problematic because women see good communication skills, humor, and overall social skills as the only manifestation of intelligence. Other forms of intelligence are simply ignored. The shy nerd with an IQ of 140 who makes a a very good living and the potential to launch an incredibly successful business enterprise is passed over for the witty, conversational guy who lives paycheck to paycheck.
  • More achievement in a particular skill – This is somewhat less problematic than the intelligence part. In his post, Danny mentioned his landscaper friend and how his girlfriend was a bit in awe in all the beauty that the friend created. The girlfriend was proud of him. So the achievement must be immediately apparent and obvious to all. As well, the achievement must be something that a beta typically wouldn’t do, like video games or Magic the Gathering.
  • More sophistication – Believe it or not, sophistication does not require affluence or even a great deal of intelligence. A man with sophisticated tastes and interests can do very well with women who lack sophistication. Classical music, literature, the arts are good examples. Frankly, anything that impresses her will suffice.
  • More charisma – This actually means having more charisma than other guys. A woman with a charismatic man doesn’t have to worry about his money, brains, achievements, or sophistication. Every one else is simply drawn to him and that’s quite the vagina tingle for her, right there
  • More social value – This could mean a higher standing in the community, a larger social network of friends, a position where other’s consult him on important matters. This means matters that are important to her, giving sage advice on Magic the Gathering does not count.

These are just the one’s that come to mind first. I am sure that there are other ways to fulfill a woman’s hypergamous instincts. What is good is that many I have listed a man can attain by working at it and not necessarily having those characteristics in his genes. For any guy with Game, hypergamy is a rapturous thing indeed.

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  1. #1 by detinennui32 on September 9, 2011 - 12:53 PM

    “If a woman is in the throes of baby rabies, the temptation to settle for a beta provider is huge.”

    +1000. This is why you make sure she is in love with you and not just looking for a baby daddy.

    “In fact, so good was the beta provider that an entire social expectation was built to steer young women towards that type of man.”

    It’s not just social mores, PM. Our entire society is grounded on the beta provider. Our entire society is founded on (1) current beta providers continuing to be beta providers, and (2) boys growing up to marry women, siring their children, and becoming beta providers. Until about 60 years ago, our society’s laws, culture, and institutions were geared toward creating beta providers for the women who would marry them. all to the good of both men and women. Our society was formerly designed to enable those beta providers to earn money and produce at full capacity, so they could earn 4, 5, or 10 times what they would need just to live by themselves.

    As we all know, that society has been junked.

  2. #2 by P Ray on September 9, 2011 - 2:31 PM

    “If a woman is in the throes of baby rabies, the temptation to settle for a beta provider is huge.”

    That is why feminism exists:
    1. To ensure that women have license to sex without consequences
    2. To ensure that honourable men cannot be in relationships with younger women so that the women of #1 always have compensation for their earlier bad choices.

    “In fact, so good was the beta provider that an entire social expectation was built to steer young women towards that type of man.”

    When the women make it impossible for the honourable men to have good relationships by slutting around and mentally poisoning younger women…

    Honourable men have no incentive to contribute to the continued success of such a society, since the money they make will be taxed off to support women’s bad decisions; the money they save to engage in relationships – they will be used by women; any attempt to address the unfairness will be used as grounds to fire them; make the wrong statement and they can even get falsely accused and imprisoned; going overseas they will also be dug for money as feminism has gone international.

  3. #3 by dogsquat on September 9, 2011 - 3:48 PM

    Hypergamy is like fossil fuel. They are both ubiquitous, powerful, and portable. They are both great tools for the knowledgeable man, and dangerous for the careless or the clueless.

    Private Man, I think an important element to add to the tool kit of the “lower status” man is an element of danger. It can be as simple as your hobby, or as complicated as your job.

    A dude who masters dangerous things (even the perception of danger) well betters his chance of tingle generation.

    You don’t have to be on the SWAT team or BASE jump to capitalize on this. Just buy a pistol and become competent with it. Get a concealed carry license. Ride a motorcycle. Something like that.

    • #4 by theprivateman on September 9, 2011 - 4:28 PM

      More danger and/or risk…

      Yup, that’s also one for the list. Perhaps this concept needs it’s own page.

      Ironic that I missed it. I ride a motorcycle.

      • #5 by dogsquat on September 9, 2011 - 5:34 PM

        Because to you, danger is like the air you breathe – not worth mentioning.

        I prefer Dos Equis as well.

        Stay thirsty, my friend.

  4. #6 by AnonymousDog on September 9, 2011 - 4:27 PM

    Privateman,

    You may want to check the dictionary definition of sophistication. Not saying your point is wrong, but a lot of people use the term without knowing what it really means. It is not always a positive description.

    • #7 by theprivateman on September 9, 2011 - 4:29 PM

      I am using the term a bit loosely, I know. Perhaps “cultured” would be a better word.

    • #8 by P Ray on September 9, 2011 - 4:30 PM

      Going by the definition, better to use
      “urbane”: having the polish and suavity regarded as characteristic of sophisticated social life in major cities: an urbane manner. 2. reflecting elegance, sophistication, etc

  5. #9 by Pechorin on September 9, 2011 - 4:33 PM

    “In fact, so good was the beta provider that an entire social expectation was built to steer young women towards that type of man.”

    Not to mention the older female relatives who used to advise women against following their hearts’ every dictate.

    “women see good communication skills, humor, and overall social skills as the only manifestation of intelligence. Other forms of intelligence are simply ignored.”

    Absolutely yes. She might come to appreciate your intellectual accomplishments over time, but with a new girl they don’t even register. If you have intellectual passions, you need to be able to give an excited 30 second version with plenty of bait for her to ask questions about. Accuracy is irrelevant, being intriguing is essential.

  6. #10 by dannyfrom504 on September 10, 2011 - 1:26 AM

    it’s weird how this popped into my head. girl emailed me and put herself out there like that. then i htought about girl at the local. before stumbling upon the manosphere, i’d never heard of hypergamy.

    since marinating in it’s philosophy/dogma i was pondering hypergamy, it’s nature, and how these women rated higher socio-economically that i do…..but are clearly attracted to me.

    which led me to think…..alpha clearly trumps hypergamy. at least i think in most cases it does.

  7. #11 by Hypergammie on September 10, 2011 - 2:40 PM

    One thing to remember is that hypergamy is a mating strategy that is hard-wired into women. ALL women have hypergamous tendencies.

    If you know women that don’t seem to follow theirs, it’s because they have been raised to reject it. If they aren’t specifically socialized that way, they will automatically revert to their natural (innate) hypergamous programming.

    This explains why women who grow up in stable, two-parent families are less likely to chase badboys and thugs (though with the influence of our media and garbage culture, even this isn’t as certain as it was just a decade ago.)

  8. #12 by detinennui32 on September 12, 2011 - 8:13 AM

    @ Hypergammie:

    “If you know women that don’t seem to follow theirs, it’s because they have been raised to reject it. If they aren’t specifically socialized that way, they will automatically revert to their natural (innate) hypergamous programming.”

    Yes, but this is incomplete. The rest of it iis that women still experiences the hypergamous instinct even if family and society infuse them with all the defenses and rationalizations against it. This is why you often have women married off to what appears to be great men, yet as the years wear on and he looks and is not so great, she wants something better. And she feels it even if she knows not to follow it and knows that following it will be disastrous.

    Men also have the polygamy instinct: To spread the seed as far and wide as possible into as many women as possible. Men married for decades still experience it even when we don’t follow it because we know the horrendous consequences of doing so. But we sure as hell would LIKE to follow it.

    • #13 by wingman on September 12, 2011 - 2:09 PM

      Chicken.

      • #14 by detinennui32 on September 12, 2011 - 3:54 PM

        I resemble that remark, Wing.

  9. #15 by NMH on September 12, 2011 - 5:12 PM

    Quite frankly I am tired of having to subtlely prove to my woman or any women that I am better than them. A woman’s hypergamy is draining, and I suspect it could be the major reason why men drop dead 10 years before women do–because we are always having to prove ourselves to them.

    Hypergamy in the man-driven culture of 50 years ago isn’t so bad. Hypergamy in the modern egalitarian culture is too much for many men, and a good reason for MGTOW.

    • #16 by theprivateman on September 12, 2011 - 6:22 PM

      Quite frankly I am tired of having to subtlety prove to my woman or any women that I am better than them. A woman’s hypergamy is draining, and I suspect it could be the major reason why men drop dead 10 years before women do–because we are always having to prove ourselves to them.

      This is the work in relationships and no one actually acknowledges it in the popular media.

      Relationship “work” for a woman is to maintain her femininity and attractiveness to her partner on an on-going basis in the face of home-making, child-rearing, and job stresses.

      Relationship “work” for a man is to acknowledge his partner’s hypergamy and fulfilling it on an going basis in the face of career, provider-status, and child-rearing stresses.

      Shit, this requires a post to flesh out the idea.

      • #17 by NMH on September 12, 2011 - 6:32 PM

        Good point, I agree. I still think it was easier for men in the 1950’s, when women were not as educated/job oriented, so an average man with an education and a job appealed to the average woman’s hypergamy.

        This is no longer true. The average man does NOT appeal to the average woman thanks to our egalitarian society.

  10. #18 by just visiting on September 12, 2011 - 5:29 PM

    NMH

    It’s easy to get jaded. From the sounds of it, dating in the U.S. sounds depressing. Might be time to travel.

    • #19 by NMH on September 12, 2011 - 5:37 PM

      That, or quit my job, deliver pizza’s for a living, and masturbate to hot porno women the rest of my life. Ill be found dead with my keyboard jammed.

  11. #20 by just visiting on September 12, 2011 - 5:51 PM

    I think travel might be the better option. I’ve been wondering about hypergammie. It doesn’t seem to be the same every where.

    • #21 by wingman on September 12, 2011 - 7:14 PM

      You have a point JV, in my experience going abroad is like gaining an automatic 2 notches in the rankings. Guys have been known to go (to Asia especially) and not make it back as their former selves.. This may not be politically correct to say, but you go a find a nice Vietnamese or Philippina my friend – you’re now as alpha as it gets. So they tell me.

      • #22 by wingman on September 12, 2011 - 7:20 PM

        And don’t think for a minute you won’t love every bit of it – ’cause you will! When they treat you like you’re really boss, and they smother you with that extreme, feminine submissiveness… that’s when you realize….what’s totally wrong…with the women back home. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

      • #23 by just visiting on September 12, 2011 - 7:37 PM

        Agreed.
        Even parts of Canada would appear friendlier. Lots of same height couples. Plenty of nice polite guys with girlfriends. The women get thinner the more west you go.

  12. #24 by Mark on October 17, 2011 - 1:22 AM

    What will women do now that they are the dominant gender in college? How will these college educated women find a man with an income larger than their own? Will they will-away their instincts to marry-up?

    Feminism has failed women and men. It has only made it so men must compete harder to get an average woman.

  13. #25 by tvmunson on December 10, 2011 - 11:14 AM

    CORRECTION: (if I may be so bold)

    Anthropology indicates the hunter/gatherers were NOT ALL alphas. Cooperation was the essential aspect of communal life. Yes, an alpha emerged, usually by talent, experience, but he would only “lead’ by the consensus of the group. An example closer to modern times would be Crazy Horse of the Oglalla Lakotas (hunter/gatherers). He would choose his course; those that cared to followed him (as into battle) did so. If he recommended a certain area for foraging, and you disagreed (an alpha trait), fine, go. Hierarchical structures emerged from this, but from the earliest we can tell there have always been more betas than alphas.

    Parenthetically it was suggested to me (and more consistent with your position) that in the state of nature males were supposed to kill each other off, leaving bevies of females for the survivors to inseminate and producing successive generations of more violent, better equipped males. Echoes Peter Seller’s soliloquy at the end of
    “Dr. Strangelove”.

  14. #26 by GoodLookingWinner on February 10, 2012 - 1:01 AM

    Why do you always assume that beta = rich and alpha = poor? LOL. In contrary, it’s more often the otherwise.

  15. #27 by Mic on June 7, 2013 - 1:40 AM

    WOW this is enlightening, we now have evidence and academic terminology including an objective (scientific) definition to describe a womans thriving drive towards procreating with men who display bad behaviors, commonly known as the “infamous AssholeS” of the dating world/mating pool. Yet these women often marry beta males for the financial stability and family values to instill in their Alpha spawned offspring to create what I refer to as the hybrid male. This male was commonly known as the Renaissance male.

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