Down the smooth road I am now traipsing…
To a harem.
In a remarkable display of poor self-control, I find myself forming a harem of women who are eager to spend time with me.
There is surfer woman, the single mom, and a former lover who has invited me to stay with her during the week should I get a writing job way down in Miami where she lives. Sexy time was clearly offered. Let’s not forget wacky Theresa who still texts and calls me occasionally. She’s geographically undesirable unless she actually comes through and visits me again where I will definitely try to seduce her.
Last night I was with surfer woman and tonight the single mom has requested my presence after the kids have fallen asleep (she lives fairly close by). Saturday night is reserved for surfer woman and Sunday night is for the single mom. I’ll be in Miami during the week next week for at least one job interview and there I will be staying with my former lover enjoying her libidinous enthusiasms and watching her rationalization hamster try to deal with the fact that she has a boyfriend who lives in another city.
As well, I have at least two women to call from Plenty of Fish and it’s entirely possible that I could end up dating one of them. Note to self: call these women this evening before going to single mom’s place.
While having a harem is all fine and dandy, it’s not really my end goal in life and relationships. Call me an old-fashioned beta kind of guy, but I do ultimately seek a long term relationship with one woman who actually enriches my life, not just engorges my tallywhacker.
None of the women I am currently dealing with are LTR material, each for their own reason. I won’t go into details.
This is the moment when my blog’s readers will immediately polarize into two groups:
1. Private Man, you’re a dick. You shouldn’t be letting these women date you and you certainly shouldn’t be calling those women from Plenty of Fish.
2. Private Man, you go boy! Post more!
Perhaps harem-building is just part of the overall process for some guys. Maybe I will follow in the foot-steps of my step-father. Regardless, I’m not real keen on the whole feast or famine thing regarding dating. Now is a feast. I dread the upcoming famine.
whiteboykrispy
/ May 26, 2011I wouldn’t sweat it too much. I’m considering entering into an LTR as well, but I got 4 girls in a harem right now.
I think having a harem allows you to be very picky if you finally decide to lock down one girl, so it’s a good thing in my book.
P.S.- This is the new collegeslacker, long time no see man, looks like all is going well
theprivateman
/ May 26, 2011I’m not going to sweat it too much. I agree with the picky thing. I’d rather be in a position of having options. But the beta man inside me (down, beta, DOWN!) is finding this situation discomforting.
ZLX1
/ May 26, 2011Hey,
That Beta guy in us feels like that because the Beta in us could never imagine that women do the exact same thing all the time. In the Beta brain that was trained on pop culture, “women are nice and virtuous, just because they are women.” We know better now, but a shred of us wants to hold onto the delusion that it ain’t so.
The women have harems, they just don’t call it a harem. They call it “my guy friends”. Don’t worry, I bet all those chicks you are writing about are seeing other dudes or they are actively looking since I don’t think they asked you to be exclusive yet. Which to a woman means: “I want you to not see other women, but I want to reserve the option to dump you without telling you and take up with another man, until I’m sure I like him better than you…” You are man #2 [at least] for the Miami lady, so that proves the point. The only violation there would be “bro code” to some degree. Stay thirsty.
ZLX1
/ May 26, 2011Oh, forgot, this is something I tell my sons, “If women were nice just because they were women, they wouldn’t have women’s prisons.” Have to dispel the delusions/myths at an early stage, though their mother is doing a fine job of that by example. Lol.
NMH
/ May 26, 2011I was always too much on the omega/beta threshold to be able to develop a harem. Also, Im pretty picky with women..nowadays, she has to be at least an age -adjusted seven, or in some way appeal to my unnamed fetishes to make my loins rumble.
I guess Im old fashioned and against harem building, because for me to boink a woman while she is boinking other guys is unacceptable. If she passed me an STD because she was boinking the gas station attendent I would be furious.
Please, however, continue with your reports. Details as to why none of these women are LTR material would be a learning experience for your readers, I would argue.
It is imperative that you are a humble servant to the manosphere.
OffTheCuff
/ May 26, 2011Well, congrats, Private Man. I was wondering when something like this would come along, and I didn’t think it would be that long with your solid Red Pill understanding.
I’m not big on the “harem” term… to me that implies a roomful of women who are faithful to you, but you are (duh) not to them, regardless of the technical definition. And I’m sure your concubines will probably hate the term should they catch wind of your writing…
But that’s just my inner beta speaking, innit?
I hope this take you to where you want to go, *and* you enjoy the journey!
Hughman
/ May 26, 2011Ha, astute observation there PM
Well, you’ve gone from zero to hero. Let go of anyone you don’t like, both day-to-day and in the bedroom. Move onto an LTR once you find the right person.
It’s what I’ve done. I’ve suddenly found myself being semi-exclusive for the first time in 2 years (and before that point, I was a mewling beta who didn’t know any better). Still got options, and my current flame knows it (bless her hamster, she tries to make me jealous. I just laugh and amplify it, she then fucks even harder than normal)
Sidenote for you PM: my ‘Southern Belle’ has fallen through. I can’t see how I will have time to see her before she leaves for Europe. Equally, all her European friends are older than her, and have other status markers for short-term fun (whilst I’m younger and my status is for mainly future sighted women)
workshyjoe
/ May 26, 2011Building the harem is no mean feat in itself. Doing it through POF borders on the miraculous. Persistence really seems to have paid off. Big time!
theprivateman
/ May 27, 2011It’s a matter of having a consistent system, nothing more.
workshyjoe
/ May 28, 2011Put that system in a book. I’m serious!
Gorbachev
/ May 27, 2011If you didn’t openly commit to any of these women, you’re morally secure.
I understand harems. Women love it if they think you’re awesome. Up to a point.
Badger
/ May 27, 2011This is great, now you can be like those women who get their comfort from one man and their sausage from another.
Hughman
/ May 27, 2011Winner
wingman
/ May 27, 2011Such conflict! Here are my 2 cents: unless something has been specifically said or requested, it ‘s assumed that consenting adults go on consenting. This comes down to the eternal split between the female wish for a monogamous prince charming and her life-learned understanding of male nature. Even more conflicting – she will want you to be monogamous but will be more attracted to you knowing you’re in demand. Maybe that has something to do with the boom and bust syndrome.
Go forth and enjoy yourself young tiger!
The only ‘moral’ issue (imho), is when she thinks there’s exclusivity and you’re still a player. So be a gentleman, but no reason to hide the fact there are other women waiting on ‘approach hold’. Nothing dishonest about that. Then maybe ask yourself if you would be particularly upset if a member of your harem were getting it elsewhere? That would be a clue as to which one could become the LTR.
theprivateman
/ May 27, 2011“Even more conflicting – she will want you to be monogamous but will be more attracted to you knowing you’re in demand.”
This.
In spades.
Women don’t understand it.
Martini
/ May 27, 2011What’s the term for male harems, anyway? There needs to be one, if not. Polyamory is the wave of the future, ride the wave, Private Man! You may discover you don’t really want an exclusive relationship.
I see nothing wrong with you building up a “harem” of ladyfriends – so long as you don’t lie if asked and treat them with basic decency and respect — you know guys, just because a woman enjoys sex without being married or in a LTR (really, what a trite expression) doesn’t make her an evil creature ready to be burned at the stake. This madonna/whore thing really needs to die a final death, dontcha think? There’s a very large space between “chick who gives blowjobs in mens rooms if you buy her a few cosmos” and “virgin bride.”
Most of us are somewhere in between.
It fascinates me to see how some guys equate “nice and virtuous” with being nonsexual. Is sex really that degrading and nasty for women? Conflicting emotions, there?
Badger
/ May 28, 2011Martini,
You must be new here.