What would a prudent man do?
A. Create a romantic narrative of how the woman would enhance his life and find ways to keep the chemistry and magic going on and on and on.
B. Carefully examine the most minor of red flags to create the perfect break up line.
C. Wonder how the hell such a woman would find him so special.
D. Hit the online dating website(s) to keep the pipeline full.
The answer is, of course, is D.
Even if you had porn star nookie, two dates means jack shit. Keep hitting the online dating websites because the woman has answered this question with B.
padiofarty
/ May 22, 2011Or you could do what I do and just tell her to Fuck Off ?
theprivateman
/ May 22, 2011The cynicism is strong with this one.
padiofarty
/ May 22, 2011Well I fucking well hate Multi Choice exams !!
NMH
/ May 23, 2011Well, enjoy the passion while it lasts. Hopefully you wont get tired of porking her, if you are at that point yet.
With my current gf, I really enjoyed the sex for about two months, now Im not so much interested–more interested in having someone pleasent to hang out with, who does not take much time, money and mind-tiring tight game. I mentally debate whether I should dump her and find someone else that I could try to generate more steam with but my cold mental calculation suggests that as long as I live where I live (300,000 metro fat southern city), this is the best it gets.
Hughman
/ May 23, 2011NHM said it well.
Enjoy her, examine her flaws so you don’t go all beta-chump on her and keep up the plate spinning so you have options.
NMH
/ May 23, 2011I did? You’re the dude that seems to effortlessly score and has a great sex life (I’m not being sarcastic).
You seem kind of young( 20′s? 30′s?) Just wait until you hit 45. Getting poon is not a primary goal, unless you’re are flooded with testosterone, like apparently our gracious host PM is.
The Private Man
/ May 23, 2011Actually, I’m not flooded with testosterone. I just happen to enjoy the company of women in the context of physical intimacy. I also enjoy the chase and the ongoing learning that goes with it.
As I am close to 50 years old, I don’t have the overwhelming sex drive that I once had. It’s actually kind of liberating in the sense that the fog of sexuality has lifted and this allows me to hone my powers of observation.
Hughman
/ May 23, 201120 in the summer.
I’m flattered in turn you think I’m flooded with poon. I’ve had just under double digit notches, and only just gotten the hang of ‘harem’ management (aka, my first LTRs/fuck buddies running at the same time) Countless failed sets, first dates that go nowhere. And my sex life blows: I’ve had sex about 30 times.
I know it’s not the primary goal. I’m bored of short term now. I enjoy being with a girl I’m comfortable with far more (both in terms of companionship day to day and in the bedroom)
Current goal is to get my favourite LTR to live in at my place midweek, so 3 to 5 days of ‘marathon’ action (she’s a deamon once she gets going). Then my weekends can still be free to work, relax, go out with my buddies yadda yadda
NMH
/ May 23, 2011Indeed. As some country star once said (paraphrasing) : as you get older, your sex drive wanes and you can actually gets some thinking done.
Badger
/ May 23, 2011Dating is like riding an urban train – you can get off at any stop, or you can, um, get off at any stop. Every layer of the onion you peel back might reveal a dealbreaker or lack of compatibility. That’s what dating is for – don’t play into the sunk-cost fallacy!
Not addressing this to you per se, but guys need to get over this idea that women are hungry for exclusivity and commitment and that they are down for it after a handful of dates. It’s just so patently not true, and guys need to carefully qualify women for relationships because our time and attention is valuable. Going on dates is not a relationship, or a commitment. Until two people have rationally acknowledged being exclusive, neither has any right to fault the other for dating other people.
The Private Man
/ May 23, 2011“Until two people have rationally acknowledged being exclusive…”
And since when have women been rational in the context of dating?
Badger
/ May 23, 2011“And since when have women been rational in the context of dating?”
Well, by my definition “dating” ends where exclusive relationship begins. If there’s even a question about whether she wants to “give up” dating other people for you, she’s either not that into you or she’s addicted to the thrill and variety. (I would say the same to women who want a guy to be exclusive.) If the decision to have an exclusive relationship is a difficult one, you’re in the wrong relationship.
Quite honestly though, in my last online dating foray we both just naturally stopped paying any attention to our other prospects and focused on each other, so declaring it exclusive was just giving name to what had already occurred.
Badger
/ May 23, 2011“If the decision to have an exclusive relationship is a difficult one, you’re in the wrong relationship.”
I want to re-emphasize this point. Athol and Dalrock both make the case that to consider marriage, a man’s relationship must be immensely rewarding and positive. He owes it to himself, to say nothing of what’s fair to the other person. I hate to sound like Oprah or something, but a successful relationship is one that should be so unequivocally rewarding for your life (your life at large, not just your sex life) that going exclusive is a no-brainer. In fact it should just be a codification of what is already happening. That doesn’t mean it isn’t work, but the payoff should be so high that the work is obviously worth it. Otherwise, GTFO.
Been meaning to post on this – you only have so much time on this earth for your life’s work. Don’t waste it trying to shoehorn the wrong person into your mating space. If all your relationships suck, be happily single until the right one comes along, while you do your life’s work.
workshyjoe
/ May 23, 2011My advice is to assume nothing. Keep it casual. Enjoy yourself.
Wait for HER to talk about commitment and exclusivity IF that is what she wants. If she raises the topic, then think it over and talk to her about it.
The one thing I am certain of is that there are NO guarantees of anything in life. As Bill Hicks would say “Its just a ride”.
Gorbachev
/ May 25, 2011I always thought the object was to drag out the non-exclusive dating period as long as humanly possible.
That’s been my way for as long as I can remember. I just assumed other men did this.