In the past 10 days or so I have sent out 49 messages to women on Plenty of Fish. The response has been a bit under 10%. Four women replied positively. For me, that’s fairly typical and I’m not complaining. It’s just time consuming to write all those messages.
So I am attempting to have an active correspondence via the Plenty of Fish messaging. There is some Game to be played here. When I correspond, I try to escalate to the phone call within three or four messages.
“You do realize that I’m even more humorous on the phone”.
This usually results in the phone numbers being exchanged.
However, the online flake factor is high. Here is the current messaging status of these four women:
Woman 1 – active correspondence but very, very short messages. Next message will be the phone call message.
Woman 2 – she has had my phone number for four days but won’t commit to a specific evening to call me.
Woman 3 – Hasn’t responded to my latest message to her. It’s been over four days.
Woman 4 – Hasn’t responded to my latest message to her. It’s been almost a week. In her first response message she was quite complimentary towards my profile and seemed eager to escalate.
I have received messages from only one woman that I am attracted to. Since I must play some online dating Game, I will wait a day until I respond.
Plenty of Fish has the “I want to meet you feature.” I have received several of those and again, only one woman piqued my interest. I sent her a message. There has been no response. That was three days ago.
Keep in mind that every woman I have mentioned is over 40 years old, professional, and well-spoken (written).
I don’t know what’s going on in these women’s lives. What I do know is my response to such delays. I sense that the woman who takes too much time to respond is simply not that interested in me or have lives too busy to be serious about dating or finding a real relationship. It takes but a moment to log in and send a message.
This is why it’s vital to keep the hopper full of prospects and keep sending out those messages.
NMH
/ May 13, 2011What I did when I was on match.com for three years was push for a meeting by email without mentioning a phone call possibility. I would say about 50% of the time women did ask me for a phone call first. Also, I would not give them my number, but would say “would you like me to call?”, and they would give me their number. Most women cannot stand to call a man first.
I would not say “I will get more humorous over the phone”, because you may sound like you are concerned about entertaining them like some kind of circus seal. Fuck that.
I guess you could always suggest a meeting at a slut-walk.
The Private Man
/ May 13, 2011I do have a call to action regarding meeting.
The woman to whom I gave my number indicated that she would call me. However, I do agree that women are loathe to call a man just as they are loathe to send the first online dating message.
Women love to laugh and I use that to my advantage in the early part of the correspondence.
Slut walk… none planned down here… yet.
Phoenix
/ May 14, 2011It never works when you give your number out to a girl. Expect her NEVER to call.
I’ve done the same thing to a few girls I would consider as friends and nothing more. But sadly, they’ve had my number for at least a month and haven’t dialed me up.
There was ONE instance where I gave my number to a hot chick. She DID text me up about 30 minutes after I gave it to her. I was totally surprised. Then we met up for a date later, and it didn’t go anywhere. She was DTF and if I played my cards better, we would have banged.
Always get the number and arrange a meetup.
Workshy Joe
/ May 14, 2011Considering the territory (POF) I think that your results have been pretty good.
The real problem is that women are now using online dating sites as a gauge of their sexual market value rather than an actual way to meet men.
I first met my partner Jane through a UK dating site back in 2004. I honestly think that the kind of interaction we had then simply couldn’t take place in 2011. Facebook has changed everything.
Remember that POF isn’t really “free” – its very time consuming for a man. You live in the beautiful state of Florida privateman. Get outside and make the most of it!
Jenks
/ May 17, 2011Might have been that they weren’t really interested in the first place. I’ve read somewhere that free dating websites are mostly about people hooking up to just have fun, be it “no strings attached” or simply someone to talk to. Paid membership websites on the other hand offer and more select group of people that are mainly looking for stable relationships, so you might want to give those a try. Read about this here, so clicky click if you’re interested and good luck in your searches.