With Theresa being stunningly flaky by not confirming my visit to her to discuss potential business and to also have a date, I attempted to resurrect a date today with Daphne, a date that Daphne herself suggested and one that I initially turned down because of plans with Theresa. It was a scheduling conflict, pure and simple.
As Theresa was flaking again, I sent an email to Daphne letting her know that I was available. She quickly responded that a date for this evening could be possible tonight depending on a visit from her parents. I told her to let me know and that I would be flexible about the time.
Two hours later she emails me again. Tonight can’t work for her after all. She presents a counter offer, a lunch date for tomorrow at 11:30AM. I accept because I want to see her again.
This is how it’s done. If a woman is truly interested, she should be offering a counter date should a planned date be canceled. The counter date is really a postponement, nothing more. At the very least, she should ask the fellow to recommend a counter date. “I can’t make tomorrow, do you have any ideas for another time and place?” This shows her interest in a clear and unambiguous way.
But if the woman cancels a date and doesn’t offer a counter, or at least invite a counter offer, it’s a clear indicator of non-interest. Should this happen, a man shouldn’t count on having a first date or any subsequent dates. He should just offer a vague promise that he might be available again and that she should contact him. Pursuing a woman who isn’t showing clear signs of interest or attraction is poor use of time and energy.
Some might decry the “games” of dating. This attitude is understandable. Resisting the common dating rituals is almost natural because this allows us to be considered as individuals with vastly differing styles and styles and approaches to dating. This is the special snowflake model of dating. Make no mistake, this approach is wrong.
The similarities of of human biology and psychology (ain’t evolution simply grand) along with common cultural experiences and expectations manifest into very common dating rituals and expectations. Being a special snowflake within the fairly strict confines of the common dating rituals and social expectations will often not lead to true love, just a series of awkward dating experiences and inevitable rejections.
Be the special snowflake at your own risk. After all, how many truly unique female online dating profiles are there?
3/28 Update -
Daphne and I had a good date yesterday. We met for lunch at 11:30AM at a local restaurant and spent a nice three hours together. Sadly, she had her hair pulled back and in the harsh light of day, she is a 5. No matter, she’s intelligent and pleasant with no sharp edges or signs of being bossy and domineering.
She wants another date.
NMH
/ March 27, 2011Usually the smarter and more educated she is the clearer the signals from her of interest or lack of interest. Let us know what happens today.
NMH
/ March 28, 2011I suspect your “5′s” down there are equivalent to the “7′s ” up here (the Ohio Valley), as the female bell curve up here is shifted well to the right because just about everybody is 2 points fuglier than if they were living on a coast. So your 5 isn’t so bad.
Furthermore, if she dresses for you in a very sexually appealing way, that’s another 2 point gain.
Seeing a 7 around here is rare. Ive seen a 9 once in the past three years.
Count your blessings. You could be in east-bum-fuq like me.
theprivateman
/ March 28, 2011Point taken. I guess I am too used to the many 8s and 9s who float around here. Of course, there seems to be an inverse beauty to pleasantness ratio here, too.
NMH
/ March 30, 2011Yes, I watched enough episodes of “Silk Stalkings” 10 years ago to know that South Florida has a babe excess. Let us know what entitlements Daphne is asking for.
Yesterday I learned that if I decided to quit work and take 6 months off (unemployed) my gf would probably dump me. I responded that if she expects me to work, I expect her to be as girly-girl as she can possibly be (not much she is willing to do–she is a hippie chick) and for her to be sweet and nurturing.
The great thing is I don’t have the sex drive I once had and so its a little easier to stand up for myself. Its great to be able to tell women to “f*ck off”.
CSPB
/ March 29, 2011The bold move would have been to take her hair down and tell her how much better she looks that way. I bet you coulda done it and that there was a moment of opportunity had you grasped it.
Think! What is the worst that could have happened if you had done this. With confidence a man can get away with about anything. Such things show respectful dominance and women like it! It is a test of her and you will learn much about her by making such a bold move.
NMH
/ March 30, 2011Sorta of like Kahn pulling down the hair of that readhead with the big boobs (at 0:17):