To get caught up, read these two posts:
Texting With “Theresa”… (slow blog day)
The Impromptu Date With A Rich Woman
Today’s texting:
10:04AM – Her latest text: “You coming up here?”
10:12AM – My response: “What’s it worth to you?”
It’s important to maintain good hand. Waiting for her response.
10:23AM – Her text: “Your gas money. lol”
I’m going to make her wait for a response. Stay tuned. Remember that this past Saturday she sent me this text: “Next Saturday night I am coming down there and you are taking me clubbing. Dancing. I buy. Need to go out and get stupid. Safe company.” Note the phrase “safe company”. She’s referring to me and I don’t like that. Safe is beta. Safe is NiceGuy(tm). Whatever text responses I give, it must take me out of the “safe” category.
Comments welcome before I send a response.
Here is what I am thinking for a response: “Nice try. You told me you were coming here this Saturday.” I figure it’s good to hold her to her word.
11:03AM – My text: “Nice try. You told me you were coming here this Saturday.”
11:04AM – Her text: [MY NICKNAME], STOP
Yes, she used all caps. Also, she called me a common nickname for my given name. A nickname she knows I don’t care for. Interesting.
Hmmmmm… I’m a bit flummoxed now. I guess she didn’t want to be held to her word. Today’s forecast: Ditzy bottle blond with a 100% chance of flaking.
Let’s all remember that she’s over 45, independently wealthy, not sophisticated. Any input here? Where is Solomon II when I need him?
11:17AM – My text: “Stop what? I’ll drive if you buy me a drink.”
College Slacker told me to wait but in order to keep things exciting I went ahead and sent that text. NMH gave me an excellent suggestion.
Waiting for a response now.
[As we're waiting, allow me to shamelessly pitch my blog and all of the other posts I have made in the past month or so. I urge all my readers to check those out and also help take this video viral.]
11:27AM. Still waiting. Hey Susan, any chance of a quick cross link with your blog? It might be premature because Theresa isn’t responding promptly but it’s worth a shot.
This comment just in from “why not” at 11:31AM:
of COURSE she doesn’t want to be held to her word. she’s a woman. that was probably the worst text you could have sent her.
srs.
why would you think women would be logical and honorable to anything they say they will do???????
If Theresa bails out of this text session, I will graciously acknowledge his accuracy.
Collegeslacker spoke of the battle of the frames. This is exactly what is happening. I do know that Theresa is quite involved with volunteer work with substance abuse non-profit agencies and also in the jails in her community. There are times when she simply can’t text.
While we are waiting, it’s a good time to check the other two posts regarding this woman. Links at the top of this post. Also, I have an update on last night’s date with Daphne, upper right-hand corner of the page.
“why not” is giving some good stuff in the comments.
i don’t see how her ‘buying you a drink’ accounts for the time driving both ways and the gas costs. just to feel good that a girl bought you a drink? c’mon son, c’mon. only a rube would think that’s worth it.
Bear in mind that part of this exercise is the simply vicariousness of it and also the opportunity for me, and everyone else, to learn. I’m not really keen on taking a long motorcycle ride up there unless, frankly, there is some sexy time.
Daphne wants to see me again and she’s about only about 15 minutes away.
I gotta go with “why not” on this one. She wasn’t playing to my frame. Of course, given her flightiness, this could change in a nanosecond.
It’s been about 30 minutes since her last text. If I’m going to send a follow up, it just might have to be the ASCII penis.
Nah, I won’t do that.
The comments are exceptional. This from NMH:
Id drive (I mean bike) to get a date with the floozy, mostly that will help you keep your cool with Daphne. Drunin’ fun with floozy-girl will give you great inner game for the prize-Daphne.
Women look for any signs of weakness. A good necking session with floozie in a smoke-filled club with some dirty grinding will give you the confidence you need. South Beach you need to go.
This is a very good point. Theresa would serve as an excellent distraction while I ran tighter inner Game on Daphne. Getting Theresa down here is the challenge. South Beach is too far, I’m thinking the party district in Fort Lauderdale, just a modest cab ride away from me.
To answer “why not” – no, Theresa and Daphne don’t know each other nor would they ever have a chance to meet each other unless in the future (and if all goes well) I make a monumental scheduling error.
I am indeed resisting the urge to text back. Besides, I have a phone interview at 1pm and my old high school friend is in town and we will be talking Game at the local watering hole later.
As we all still waiting for Theresa to return my text, let’s have a side bar on Daphne.
Some highlights:
She’s got a 6 face and likely an 8 figure. She arrived last night wearing a rather short and quite stylish dress. Her hair was let down and I found it to be quite sexy (yes, this info is in the daily update, too). She is well spoken with no noticeable accent from her midwestern and then New England upbringing.
She’s an education snob and made a point to boast of her MBA and the fact that everyone in her family has at least a master’s degree. She also boasted often that she’s been to 71 different countries in her travels. We did have a good conversation and I noticed that there were clear indicators of interest, mostly through eye contact and the fact that she was playing with her hair almost coquettishly.
I refused to be overly impressed with her education and her travels. Frankly, my travels and adventures exceed hers and I dropped in some wild and hairy tales of my youth to prove it. I also did something new. I didn’t talk about online dating much. I showed no interest in the types of guys she had gone out with previously. I suspect that this is important and will explore this in a future post.
Alright, I think this episode with Theresa has reached its conclusion for now. Should there be an update, I will post it quickly. Thanks for playing everyone!
3:28PM Update – Still no return from text from Theresa.
03/24/2011, 11:04AM
Phone call from Theresa!
The first minute of the call I couldn’t understand what she was talking about because she was talking so fast and her accent was too thick.
Finally, after a moment, her words started to make sense to me.
She was talking about herself, as usual.
I listened politely, added a few things here and there. There was no mention of yesterday’s texting or her supposed plans to come down here on Saturday. She was just going on about her life and how hard it is to make the transition from married to single life and that even getting new car insurance was a big step for her.
She also talked about all the men in her life over the years and how every one had some sort of drug addiction problem. She also mentioned that she was estranged from her father for over 20 years because he disapproved so much of her going after BadBoys. Why wasn’t I surprised?
I cut the conversation short because I had to be at the bank and left it that I might call her after lunch.
Stay tuned.
I’m getting some great comments on today’s Theresa follow up. This from NMH:
She may have some kind of personality disorder, if it isn’t Histrionic Personality Disorder there needs to be another one in the DSMV-IV called Self-Absorption Personality Disorder (SAPD, pronounced “sapped”.), and the lead article can describe patient “T”.
Don’t bang this chick–she may be a psycho, and you will keep your integrity in check. As Kris Kristofferson once said, “dont sleep with anyone crazier than you.”
Actually, I have been re-reading shrink4men to determine if Theresa is exhibiting any of the nasty characteristics of the Cluster B personality.
I love the notion of the SAPD, brilliant! Sadly, also quite common.
I don’t see any blaming behaviors from Theresa. She told me flat out that she takes responsibility for any of the troubles in her life. Of course, these are just words. We’ll see about the actions. She does have a terrible case of SAPD and the attention span of a house fly. Is she crazier than me? That still remains to be seen.
There is an interesting complication developing in the Theresa saga, updates will ensue when necessary.
03/25/2011, 10:48AM
Another phone call from Theresa.
There is indeed a weird complication.
She wants to hire me for a long term writing assignment. I can’t give away more information as that would be too revealing for us both. She did confirm an earlier suspicion of mine regarding her life and this makes the writing assignment rather compelling.
I still can’t tell if she’s Cluster B (see shrink4men on that) but she’s certainly egotistical and admitted as such.
Bottom line? I’m riding there to see her tomorrow. I’m bringing the laptop and my air-card so I can post from there, if possible.
Stay tuned.
03/26/2011, 10:46AM
Holy crap, getting Theresa to commit to anything is like catching smoke with a net. We agreed yesterday that I would go to her place to talk about this writing project. She said she would clear her schedule (for today) and call me back. She didn’t call me back but texted me in the evening. I texted back that she should call me. She didn’t.
So, this morning at about 10AM, I sent a text. “What’s going on?”
She texts back something silly and irrelevant.
I call her. She doesn’t answer. I leave a message.
And I turned down a date with Daphne for this. Jesus H. Christ on a raft, this is laughable! Of course the positive is that Daphne will think I’m a busy fellow with lots to do and that will give some higher value.
why not
/ March 23, 2011B==========================D
theprivateman
/ March 23, 2011Brilliant! I will hold that for later.
Susan Walsh
/ March 23, 2011Haha, yes on holding her to her word, no on the ASCII penis.
why not
/ March 23, 2011B==============D – - – -
NMH
/ March 23, 2011Well, she did offer to buy your booze as I recall. Id say: “Ill drive if you buy–drinks are on you, floozy-girl.”
I wouldn’t use the penis motif–too declasse
Keep posting this stuff: former Omegas like me learn. Also keeps my day at work interesting.
collegeslacker
/ March 23, 2011Ah, yes miss entitlement Theresa. You gotta punish her with a looong pause before responding to the STOP text. Get her thinking a little bit. Heck, if you wait long enough she just might text you again thinking you are mad.
You’re free to go with your own style, but anytime I get a text like that I usually wait all day before responding.
NMH
/ March 23, 2011Wow. I’m literally living vicariously for a moment. Greetings South Florida! We will see if my suggestion works or fails you.
why not
/ March 23, 2011of COURSE she doesn’t want to be held to her word. she’s a woman. that was probably the worst text you could have sent her.
srs.
why would you think women would be logical and honorable to anything they say they will do???????
NMH
/ March 23, 2011Yea, my advice could be a total fail. I keep forgetting that most women are unaccountable, as Jack Nicholson says “In as Good as it Gets.”
PM just needs to get this 10 cent floozy drunk and nail her by any means possible.
why not
/ March 23, 2011let me qualify my statement above. I did not intend it to mean in the oh-so-typical Spearhead way that women are worthless unaccountable and untrustworthy human beings.
what I did mean is that this is simply their nature: take it or leave it. but to take it means you have to 1) understand their ‘nature’ and 2) know how to make the kitty cat chase the ball of yarn across the room.
i hear all too often that men do not understand and will never understand women. this is because they try to reduce them to logical constructs – and that’s just never going to work.
when i first began immersing myself in the Laws of Game (i don’t think ‘theory’ fits anymore), i began to realize that my failures with women were based on me trying to project the masculine-based logic onto an emotional-based creature. 2+2=4 does not hook a woman.
so again, my comment isn’t mean to be a negative take on women. it was meant to articulate their nature, and to remind you that they do not act and think like men!
collegeslacker
/ March 23, 2011Not a bad way to go. Should be interesting to see how she responds. She seems like she will hold the line for as long as she can. Battle of the frames, indeed.
collegeslacker
/ March 23, 2011@why not
If you got her playing to your frame, she will do whatever you want.
why not
/ March 23, 2011clearly she’s not playing to PM’s frame. she’s already sent flaking signals that she’s not gonna come.
and er, clearly, if she was settling into his masculine frame, she would have already jumped at the chance and made arrangement to drive to him. (nothing gets between a woman and a man who makes that woman feel totally flush with good chemicals).
why not
/ March 23, 2011i disagree on holding her to her word. i don’t know if that has ever benefited a man doing so. you would be surprised at what rationalization hamsters can respond with. and rarely is the response in shaming her to keep ‘her word’ (what value is that, if any?) is one of “oh, he’s so right, i should travel that distance to have a night out with him.”
Some thoughts on how to proceed: “if you don’t come, it’s your loss” or something to that effect. if she’s already leaning on flaking, there’s no point in massaging that bad behavior.
i don’t see how her ‘buying you a drink’ accounts for the time driving both ways and the gas costs. just to feel good that a girl bought you a drink? c’mon son, c’mon. only a rube would think that’s worth it.
if she’s got any intelligence, she’ll agree to NMH only because it gets her out of having to drive, it justifies her bad behavior, is not much cost to her, and gives her more control of the frame.
collegeslacker
/ March 23, 2011Good point.
Saying “it’s your loss” can come off as bitter. You shouldn’t care enough yet. Thinking “it’s your loss” is what you should be doing, of course, but a better way to communicate this would be to say something like “look, I’m going to stick around here feel free to come join me for drinks- you got first round”
why not
/ March 23, 2011lol, fair enough – see my new thoughts below.
also, i’m just thinking out loud here, but is discussing the terms of who is buying drinks….is that just too much? it works in some contexts for sure. but i’m not sure if it’s workable from a texting-to-schedule-a-date context.
me? i’ve never talked money or buying-this-or-that with other women when i was dating around. maybe, here, it would work if she had 1) already flaked and 2) was trying to make things up by scheduling a meet up later on (“i’d like to meet up sometime.” “well, ok. but since you flaked last time, you get first two rounds.”)
NMH
/ March 23, 2011Id drive (I mean bike) to get a date with the floozy, mostly that will help you keep your cool with Daphne. Drunin’ fun with floozy-girl will give you great inner game for the prize-Daphne.
Women look for any signs of weakness. A good necking session with floozie in a smoke-filled club with some dirty grinding will give you the confidence you need. South Beach you need to go.
why not
/ March 23, 2011question: do daphne and theresa know about each other?
i’m fairly new to this blog (keep up the good writing btw!), so i don’t know the story about both of them all that well (outside of this post and the earlier one about texting theresa).
i ask because, i hear every now and then that telling the women you are dating about the other women (you are dating) increases your so-called value and standing among all of them. i personally don’t know anyone who has tried this, but i’m wondering if that would work here with theresa?
i’m not gonna put you down the wrong path: i’ve read it on roissy’s blog a while back.
so, i guess i ask openly, would telling theresa, “if i don’t get a response by this afternoon, i’ve gotta bench you for the weekend and play one of my new recruits” actually be advisable?
collegeslacker
/ March 23, 2011It’s wiser to let her know in an indirect way that you are dating around. Telling her you’re gonna bench her only works if you’re one motherfucking alpha. For the rest of us, it’s try hard.
For example, not scheduling dates on Fridays and Saturdays with her, or having a day you can’t, without explaining why, go on a date. This will lead her to believe she’s not the only one. Her hamster will fill in the rest and she’ll step it up.
why not
/ March 23, 2011i dig that. i like that ‘indirect’ method.
someone was writing the other day (i forget which blog) about their badass step-father who, after divorcing his first wife, started dating around again in some elite circles.
i remember him writing that his step-father would have this big calendar on his fridge (or in the kitchen) with names of women penned into different days and women would take notice when they came over to his house. apparently one woman saw this and raised a tantrum (note: i was originally going to write ‘he got caught’ but i don’t think that’s the right way to look at it) and so afterwards he would only pen initials onto the calendar.
any other ideas on how to indirectly signal that you’ve got others? (even if you don’t and want to bluff that you do).
theprivateman
/ March 23, 2011Actually, it was this blog and it was my own step father whom I was describing.
One of the things that I do is store in my cellphone the names and numbers of every woman I have dated or phoned in the past year or so. There are a lot of female names in there. I do this as a test. One of these days, a woman is going to snoop in my phone and see this list. She’ll either run away or immediately jump my bones. Those that run, I didn’t need them or their jealousy issues. Those that stay will desire me even more.
collegeslacker
/ March 23, 2011No follow up texts, man. Resist the urge.
why not
/ March 23, 2011more thoughts on this scenario put together by PM – quick responses to her text messages shows, imo, an eagerness, a neediness, to sort things out. i wonder if he had waited an hour to respond to that first text from her, how this would have played out?
at this point, if i were in PM’s shoes, i would let go of the urge to text anything ever again until she responds.
If time with PM is the value to be gained, it is hers to take. not to be given and pushed upon her.
relating back to some of my earliest writings on game, i wrote down one day, “my sex is something she has to earn -it’s not something i simply give away.”
i’m still not sure why i wrote that. but it’s stuck with me all these years.
NMH
/ March 23, 2011Damn. It really is a game. If I knew this 20 years ago my life would have been completely different.
wingman
/ March 23, 2011Let it fade. She’ll come back. Then ease on the framing for a wee bit.
theprivateman
/ March 23, 2011Welcome to the Manosphere.
NMH
/ March 23, 2011Daphne: I hate that education boasting shit. I come from a family of advanced degrees myself (me included) and I never bring it up. Who gives a shit? Oh, that’s right–WOMEN.
I know a lot of guys who never completed HS or have a HS degree only and that are smarter and wiser than I am.
That kind of reality will never make sense to an education snob.
CSPB
/ March 23, 2011Remember to insert your “Zeus” name and “lightning bolts” into the texting.
Also when flummoxed, shift the frame and engage her rationalization hamster with an “M or E?”
I Want Her to Like Me For Me described by Donlak and
Scientific Evidence for the Rationalization Hamster described by Badger
theprivateman
/ March 23, 2011Good point on the Zeus thing.
I’ll check out those links, thanks!
SayWhaat
/ March 24, 2011“One of these days, a woman is going to snoop in my phone and see this list. She’ll either run away or immediately jump my bones. Those that run, I didn’t need them or their jealousy issues. Those that stay will desire me even more.”
Oh dear. Wrong, on both counts. The women who snoop through your phone have insecurity issues, period. Snooping through your phone is out of bounds. The ones who leave will have only slightly higher self-confidence than the ones that don’t. Do you really want to be with that kind of woman? She is a nightmare.
theprivateman
/ March 24, 2011I have never had a woman NOT snoop in someway, somehow. I think it’s part of the female condition.
I have seen relationship advice where it’s recommended that a woman snoop. I need to find some links and create a post, “Bad Relationship Advice”.
Snooping is like a shit test. So, with a long list of female names in my cell phone, I’m throwing back the test on my terms.
SayWhaat
/ March 24, 2011“I have never had a woman NOT snoop in someway, somehow. I think it’s part of the female condition.”
This reminds me of the oft-proclaimed rationalization hamster: “If all the men I’ve dated are jerks, then all men are jerks.”
theprivateman
/ March 24, 2011I do agree. I’ve been making a conscience effort to find women who aren’t the snooping types.
It’s been quite the challenge.
collegeslacker
/ March 24, 2011What a strange creature, this Theresa.
NMH
/ March 24, 2011Update: LMAO!!!
She reminds me of my bosses wife, who cannot stop talking about herself, and blaming everybody else for something that went wrong.
She may have some kind of personality disorder, if it isn’t Histrionic Personality Disorder there needs to be another one in the DSMV-IV called Self-Absorption Personality Disorder (SAPD, pronounced “sapped”.), and the lead article can describe patient “T”.
Don’t bang this chick–she may be a psycho, and you will keep your integrity in check. As Kris Kristofferson once said, “dont sleep with anyone crazier than you.”
collegeslacker
/ March 26, 2011I think it’s time for you to pull back. hard.
No communication for the next few days. If she really wants you, or your writing services, she’ll contact you. Whether you want to continue on in any relationship, business or otherwise, will be up to you then.
theprivateman
/ March 26, 2011I agree.
Now I have to deal with Daphne.
NMH
/ March 26, 2011Time to to throw the hail marry with Theresa: Text her the penis motif.
theprivateman
/ March 26, 2011Guaranteed she won’t understand it so it will lose its impact. Too bad.
I’m just going to ignore her for awhile… until some time next week.
Twenty
/ March 28, 2011Dude. Theresa is bad, bad, bad news. The only thing worse than dating her would be trying to do business with her. I guarantee you’ll get jerked around something horrible. Unless she’s paying in advance, cut her loose.
theprivateman
/ March 28, 2011I would ask for a very large sum up front. Regardless, she’s extremely good at flaking.
Rule for men when dealing with women – actions over words. She has one action (visiting me) and about a zillion words.
Hope
/ March 29, 2011Why haven’t you cut her off from your life completely? Such people are not worth dealing with for any amount of money. Don’t waste your time and energy on such crazies.
Between depriving you of an hour of your life and your life altogether is only a matter of degree. Allowing the use of any power over you should be done very begrudgingly even if you think you have something to gain. Often such users let you hang on that false belief (“you gain something, too!”), and it leads to only depriving you more of your energy
NMH
/ March 29, 2011Maybe because she’s hot enough to nail, and not have to pay a dime for it.