I’ve haven’t logged into Plenty of Fish in a couple of weeks. My heart is not in it.
While reading my usual series of Manosphere blogs this past Saturday afternoon, my phone rang with a local number showing in the called ID. Normally, an unrecognized number gets sent to voicemail. I was feeling generous so I answered the call.
It’s Daphne (name changed), a woman from Plenty of Fish whom I spoke with on the phone over a month ago and had attempted to set up a date. Her earliest availability was two weeks away from the last time we corresponded. Such a delay is an indicator of low interest, especially from a woman with no kids and who lives only a few miles from me. Then came the business with my recently-ended writing contract and I basically withdrew from online dating leaving Daphne and a few others hanging.
She certainly didn’t forget me. We talked for a bit. She did notice that I hadn’t logged in to Plenty of Fish but was polite about it. I told her that my life had gotten complicated and so I have been focusing my energies on other things. She didn’t make a big deal about it. My withdrawal from our online correspondence was not conscience Game on my part. Regardless, it was a form of push/pull and her phone call out of the blue proved it.
In the phone conversation, I learned that she is exceptionally well-traveled (adventure travel, not shopping trips to foreign countries), has an MBA, and a fairly swanky job at a Fortune 100 company. I’d provide a description of her from her online dating profile but she hid her account. From what I remember, she has a good figure and a reasonably attractive face. Age adjusted (mid-40s), she’s a 6 or 7.
She didn’t come right out and say that she wanted a date. Even an assertive career girl can’t muster up the courage for that. So I helped her along. “We’re going to meet for a date and soon.” Another Game rule – never ask for a date, make it a statement of fact. We went back and forth on options. Ice cream was out and so were some other options because of her dietary requirements. This is yellow flag for now. We settle on Thai food for this upcoming Tuesday. I made it patently clear that we would meet soon without any two week delays.
It’s important to bring up hypergamy at this point. I have a strong hunch that Daphne did indeed go on dates with men who earned more money and she found them wanting in brains and alpha characteristics. The problem for many men who are financially successful in their careers is the lack of horizontal knowledge. Such guys know a great deal about only one subject and it’s usually the subject that yields the fat paychecks, hardly the subject of good conversation. As well, these type of white-collar type of men tend to be beta, whether by nature or just beaten down by bossy and domineering ex-wives.
Daphne is now back to me. My “up” to her hypergamy is a well-rounded thoughtfulness and knowledge on a broad variety of subjects to go along with a hefty portion of wit and humor. Frankly, I give damned good conversation when the situation requires. But for first dates, I simply ask a few select questions to my date and then just listen very carefully. It’s like starting a chainsaw. For Daphne, she’s going to want to talk about her travels. To Game her, I will be sincerely interested but I won’t be overtly impressed by her travel stories. I’ll simply give off the attitude that such overseas adventures are standard stuff. What questions I will ask will be somewhat tangential to her story of the moment.
I’ll provide an update after my date with Daphne.
Paige
/ March 20, 2011I dated a rich guy before I dated my husband. He came from money rather than earning it himself and he was so entitled I could hardly stand it. I was also terrified of his family. He told me his mom required him to get a nose job when he was 16 because his nose looked “too Jewish”. Like hell would I want to have any part of a family like that.
NMH
/ March 20, 2011I’ve become extremely suspicious and pessimistic about the possibility of dating successful, educated, and professional women. Their standards for a man are just ridiculously high and most are not interesting and good looking enough to ask for what they demand. I get tired of being interesting, entertaining, and humorous when I get little in return except self-absorbed drivel from a woman who has little sense of humor.
Anyway, looks like you get the biker bad boy aloof thing going for you, so that might give her the gina tingle. One thing that may add to your game is (if you don’t know this) to pick up some dancing skills like ball room dancing if you have not tried this. I’m a former omega male rising to beta, and ball room dancing for me made a big difference and makes me look alpha (I hope) in certain contexts. When I started I had no rythym or skill to speak up but Ive developed that with time.
Add some dancing skills to what you have already and your tight funds may not matter much to the skan…oops I meant ladies. he he.
Good luck, dude.
theprivateman
/ March 20, 2011You have every reason to be pessimistic, unfortunately. I will write a succinct post to address this. Thanks for the food for thought.
As for the biker bad boy aloof thing, I don’t really cultivate the image, it’s just been sort of happening in the past few months. Interestingly, I don’t have a Harley or cruiser style motorcycle that is stereotypical of a 40-something man on two wheels. Hell, I don’t even drive a car (my estranged wife is driving it) and my not-so-fancy Japanese motorcycle has over 100,000 miles on it, all mine.
The dancing part is key! Given the heavy Latin culture ’round these parts, Latin dancing is far more popular than ballroom dancing. I can do so reasonable Merengue (it’s actually quite easy) but Salsa dancing eludes me. My anglo-saxon hips don’t coordinate will with my two left feet when it comes to Salsa dancing.
NMH
/ March 20, 2011I have a lot of trouble with Salsa myself, its one of my worst dances. I suggest starting with Rumba and Cha-cha tp pick up latin (cuban) motion, those are a little easier. Im hoping to improve my Salsa this year. As you way know, Salsa is often the favorite ball room dance of women.
My best dances are swing and Hustle.
collegeslacker
/ March 20, 2011“It’s like starting a chainsaw”
Absolutely. Sit back, let her start in about something, and then take the lead from there in your conversational journey.
“I simply ask a few select questions to my date and then just listen very carefully”
The ability to truly listen is so important isn’t it? It allows you to ask good questions and keep the conversation rolling. Many a girl has straight up told me they love conversing with me because I actually listen instead of talking at them. Sounds we have the same style.
Good luck on the date, looking forward to the recap.