Rules for Single Women

I stumbled across this and thought it might make for some good reading.

Most women will hate it. Thoughtful, intelligent, and introspective women will laugh wryly at the truths contained in this list. It’s a long list.

Share it with a link, please.

  • If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.
  • Prince Charming is gay
  • Rich, attractive, nice – you can only pick two when dealing with single men.
  • If you ask a man on a first date how much he earns or what kind of car he drives, he gets to look at your bare breasts while you are still in the restaurant.
  • If you answer your cell phone during a first date, he has the right to immediately get up and leave with no explanation.
  • Choosy and “stuck up” are closely related.
  • If you expect a man to pay for everything, you’ll need a strong jaw and a good tongue.
  • Perfect men don’t exist. Good men are everywhere.
  • The karmic retribution for putting good men into the FriendZone while getting hurt by bad boys is to become bitter, angry, and the owner of at least three cats.
  • You are not a princess no matter what your T-Shirt states. If you really think you are a princess, then you’d better have the body of a stripper, the face of an angel, and the personality of a saint. Even so, only Prince Charming can marry a princess and Prince Charming is gay.
  • Your single girlfriends don’t want you to have a happy relationship with a man, that’s why they’re single and always telling you to “never settle”. Consider this when listening to their advice.
  • A man won’t say “I love you” until he is 100% confident that you won’t use this against him. This might take years, be patient because men can be sensitive, too.
  • Taking the time to look your best is not optional. After all, if you can catch his eye then you can catch his heart. Being agreeable, pleasant, and happy will seal the deal.
  • Smiles and laughter are contagious and can melt any man’s heart.
  • The unintended consequence of independence is loneliness.
  • Excessive complaining is neither attractive nor polite.
  • You are entitled to nothing. However, you can expect rewards for working hard for something.
  • Before you say “it’s all his fault” after a bad date, look closely in the mirror.
  • It’s not always men making you unhappy. Don’t let bitter women convince you of that.
  • Being strong doesn’t mean being bitchy. Wise women have known this for generations.
  • You can’t have it all. Please have the good sense to realize this.
  • Compromise is not surrender, it’s what is necessary to have a good relationship.
  • Don’t expect men to fall all over you just because you are a woman. Men have learned Game.
  • There’s nothing wrong with looking feminine. Men like it.
  • If he doesn’t call you back, it means he’s just not really into you. Deal with it.
  • If you meet a man, don’t find reasons to reject him or things to change in him. Find reasons to accept him and respect him.
  • The common word in “drink whore” and “dinner whore” is still whore.
  • Sorry girl, it’s not all about you so you can change your T-Shirt now and grow up.
  • Many men would rather chase women, not girls, so grow up if you don’t want to be single anymore.
  • Given the current state of divorce laws, don’t expect any man to marry you. It’s not you, it’s just how things are right now.
  • Hanging around gay men won’t give you any useful insights about straight men. Frankly, always hanging around gay men is kind of creepy. Um, they think it’s kind of creepy, too.
  • No fat chicks” is the man’s version of “If you’re rich, I’m single”.
  • Winning a man is easy, keeping a man requires hard work.
  • Advertising “Bitch” on your T-Shirt or sweatpants won’t get you any dates. No man cares for that attitude.
  • Deferring self-gratification is a sign of maturity. You can wait until dinner even if you’re hungry now.
  • The real world is pushy, rude, and often unpleasant. That doesn’t mean you have to be the same way.
  • If you dress like a whore, expect to be treated like a whore.
About these ads
  1. #1 by Workshy Joe on February 18, 2011 - 8:32 PM

    There’s only ONE rule for women:

    “There is a HUGE discrepancy between what you SAY you want and what you ACTUALLY want.”

    Women will continue to ignore that truth, but men at least have the ability to learn it, accept it and make good use of it.

  2. #2 by Simon Rierdon on February 19, 2011 - 6:43 PM

    Excellent list…just letting you know, I stole it and posted it on my site just so that my LTR would read it and work just a little bit harder to keep me. But, you are given complete credit and I linked you to my site. Damned good start to your new endeavor…

    • #3 by theprivateman on February 19, 2011 - 6:51 PM

      I appreciate the link.

      Truth be told, I actually wrote that list many years ago and it’s still making the rounds on the interwebs.

      I also appreciate the compliment regarding this new blog. I am actually a professional writer and cranking out words is what I do for a living. I just need another writing contract before the money runs out.

      • #4 by Simon Rierdon on February 19, 2011 - 7:06 PM

        It seemed familiar but still extremely relevant. I posted a response on Ferdinand’s site giving you permission to post one of my past online dating experiences. Post often and steal from me at will,…permission is granted…

  3. #5 by Ulysses on February 20, 2011 - 12:34 PM

    Nice list. You’d think the last bullet would be the easiest to grasp, even for these little children. But no. The look on their faces is priceless.

  4. #6 by kristinsplace on June 13, 2011 - 12:33 AM

    I am woman and I liked most all of this list. I make an effort to be kind and considerate towards others — including men — and it makes me smile to see the importance of a woman’s character acknowledged in a dating blog. :o)

    “-If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.”

    How very accurate. The male corollary also holds true, too.

    “-If you think all women are bitches, expect to live alone when you get older.”

    Happy dating, fellow travelers!

  5. #7 by Jennifer on August 22, 2011 - 4:19 PM

    Gold, PM.

  6. #8 by The Modern Geisha on March 12, 2013 - 7:40 PM

    Hilarious! I have been looking for such a list because I am a Rules Dating Coach for women and wanted my clients to get The Rules from the male-mindset. This is like swallowing “the jagged pill.” Thanks for posting!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,270 other followers

%d bloggers like this: